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Active Verbs Inspire Action

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by Barbara McNichol

Do you know the difference between an “active” voice and a “passive” voice? Do you know when—and how—to use active verbs and passive verbs to get your message across?

Should you even care?

Yes. Because choosing the right voice changes your message. Don’t let a poor choice trip you up!

Here’s an explanation of the difference between the two voices and why you should pay attention.

How will I recognize active verbs?

These sentences feature active verbs:

  • Joanna manages the human resources department.
  • Spencer purchases all the office supplies.
  • Erik generates $1 million in annual revenue.

Read the same sentences using passive verbs:

  • The human resources department is being managed by Joanna.
  • All the office supplies are being purchased by Spencer.
  • $1 million in annual revenue is being generated by Erik.

The first group of sentences follows a Subject + Verb + Object structure. The second set gets the same message across but in more words. Yet, it lacks clarity and precision.

Why should I choose active instead of passive verbs?

Consider these three reasons:

  1. Active verbs declare who or what is—or should be—performing the action. You avoid confusion, guesswork, and dodging responsibility. (More on this point to follow.)
  2. Active verbs make your writing flow better. In business writing especially, your colleagues and clients demand you get to the point quickly.
  3. Active verbs eliminate the need for extra words, which requires striving to “whack wordiness” in your writing.

When should I use a passive voice?

If you can’t identify the “doer” of the action—the subject—the sentence has probably been constructed in the passive voice.

Even when the subject is clear, though, two clues help you identify “passive” sentences:

  • The word “by”
  • Variations of the verb “to be”

Use of a passive voice often leads to weasel-like language and can undermine your credibility in business communication. Your readers might think you’re avoiding taking responsibility for an aspect of your company’s service. This could set them on edge.

However, a passive voice can be useful when you require ambiguity. For example:

  • Refunds will not be issued.
  • Email inquiries will be answered in two business days.
  • Votes will be tallied at the end of each session.

Read the same sentences with an active voice:

  • The accounting department will not issue refunds.
  • Jackson is responsible for answering email inquiries in two business days.
  • The nomination committee will tally votes at the end of each session.

Using passive voice can be appropriate when you honestly don’t know the identity of the subject. For example:

  • The bank was robbed this afternoon.
  • Your product will be delivered tomorrow.
  • A ten-thousand-dollar donation was made at the fundraiser.

As details become available, though, you can rewrite the sentences in active voice:

  • A former employee, Robert Smith, robbed the bank this afternoon.
  • Helen will deliver your product tomorrow.
  • The Watson family made a ten-thousand-dollar donation at the fundraiser.

Using active verbs gets others to act.

Readers who understand who is doing the action, where, when, and why, without having to filter through extra words will likely join your cause. This applies to a discussion, a marketing campaign, or even a job application.

Consider these examples:

Passive: Public meetings are being held by the engineering team to discuss the merits of our building proposal.

  • Active: The public is invited to meetings with the engineering team to discuss our building proposal.
  • Passive: Feedback will be encouraged when our engineering team provides their update to the community.
  • Active: The community is encouraged to provide feedback to the engineering team.
  • Passive: Repairs are being done on the faulty security software by our IT department.
  • Active: The IT department is repairing the faulty security software.

Now it’s your turn. (It’s okay to make up a subject here. Write your answer in the Comments section below.)

  • Passive: This policy is being implemented in an effort to streamline our process.
  • Active:

Brevity is still bliss.

When writing fiction or nonfiction for recreational readers, using an interesting turn of phrase or literary device like alliteration makes reading a joy. But when readers have to have information quickly, don’t wax prophetic. Use the right tools to help you get to the point and improve your results.

If you’d like to learn more about ways to whack wordiness and tune up your written communication skills, contact me.

Do You Resist Improving Your Writing?

Is Your Writing Pompous?

Common Grammar Miscues that Undermine Good Writing

Do You Resist Improving Your Writing?

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by Barbara McNichol

improving your writing

If you resist the effort needed for improving your writing, here’s my suggestion: Make friends with good writing. A shift in attitude—from resisting to embracing—just might make all the difference. And here’s the payoff. When you better your writing skills, you advance your career and make a positive impression.

To meet that objective, here’s a fresh resource filled with must-have skills to jumpstart your resolve: an e-guide called—ta da—Making Friends with Good Writing.

This brand new e-guide comes with a special introductory offer. You’ll save $$ when you use the Coupon code FRIENDS at checkout. Check it out here.

“Barbara’s Making Friends with Good Writing is helpful and first class—just like she is! If you want to know when and why to use or create a style guide or enhance your writing, this e-guide provides answers with clear examples. ” – Peggy Henrikson, editor

Do you know the definition of a chiasmus? It’s a phrase that mirrors itself. 

Making Friends with Good Writing offers a compilation of chiasmi that are fun. After reading this e-guide, a reader sent this chiasmus by Garrison Keillor: “When it comes to finding available men in Minnesota, the odds are good, but the goods are odd.” She had a fun response, too. “I don’t take his message seriously, though. Thankfully I found a good man!”

Can you create your own chiasmus? Please write it here! 

Which is Correct? Me, Myself, or I

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by Kathleen Watson (guest blogger)

Did you as a child ever say, “Me and Billy wanna go for a bike ride!” and have your mom admonish: “Billy and I.”

What about, “Can me and Suzie have a popsicle?” and your mom corrected you, “Suzie and I.”

Mom no doubt was trying to teach you the courtesy of mentioning the other child’s name first, but your brain might have been imprinted to avoid me.

No wonder so many of us steer clear of me in places where it truly is the correct choice. The problem: We’re supposed to know better by the time we grow up and communicate with adults in the business world. These tips will help you get it right.

Subjects and Objects

Let’s start with a brief definition of two terms: subject and object

A subject is the doer of the action in a sentence:
I | she | he | they

An object is the receiver of the action in a sentence:
me | her | him | them

I hear him. She sees them. He called me.

Me and I have another grammatical role: They are pronouns. They refer to and stand in for the name of someone or something mentioned previously. Other pronouns are you, he, she, we, him, her, us, they, them and it.

Me vs. I

The following examples show how difficult it can be to choose the right pronoun when the choice is me or I:

My boss (subject) is taking Sarah (object) and I (oops: subject) to lunch.
My boss (subject) is taking Sarah (object) and me (object) to lunch.

She (subject) demonstrated the new software to Rob (object) and I (oops: subject).
She (subject) demonstrated the new software to Rob (object) and me (object).

The easiest way to choose the right pronoun is to eliminate Sarah or Rob. Your ear will help you decide what sounds right:

no: My boss is taking I to lunch.
yes: My boss is taking  me to lunch.

no: She demonstrated the new software to I.
yes: She demonstrated the new software to me.

In the above sets of examples, my boss and she are the subjects, the doers of the action; me is the object, the receiver of action.

There are other cases where choosing between me and I can be difficult. Which is correct in these examples?

Jeff likes ice cream more than I.
Jeff likes ice cream more than me.

Does the writer mean:
Jeff likes ice cream more than I [like ice cream], or Jeff likes ice cream more than [he likes] me?

Simply adding the implied “do” makes it clear:

Jeff likes ice cream more than I [do].

Some grammarians consider either me or I acceptable in this kind of sentence construction. I’m not one of them, because I believe using me can leave room for misinterpretation.

She knows Steve better than me.
(She knows Steve better than she knows me?)
(She knows Steve better than I know Steve?)
She knows Steve better than I [do].

He loves baseball more than me.
(He loves baseball more than he loves me?)
(He loves baseball more than I love baseball?)
He loves baseball more than I [do].

Me vs. Myself

Have you ever received messages like these:

Call Ryan or myself if you have questions.
Thank you for notifying Claire and myself about the incident.
Myself and my team are meeting his afternoon.

Myself is a reflexive pronoun belonging to a category of words that end in self or selves. Reflexive pronouns often are used when the subject and object of a sentence are the same. They also help create emphasis.

I myself would never take an unnecessary sick day.
She allowed herself the luxury of a pedicure.
We ourselves performed the entire symphony.
You yourself will have to decide.
I bought myself a latte.

Here are the correct versions of the first set of reflexive pronoun examples:

Call Ryan or myself me if you have questions.
Thank you for notifying Claire and myself me about the incident.
My team and myself I are meeting this afternoon.

Using I when it should be me and improperly using myself show that frequent misuse can make erroneous grammar almost sound right.

Don’t fall into the “But everyone says it that way” trap. Know your grammar and adhere to standards that reflect positively on your communication competence.

Want to polish your grammar skills? Kathleen’s book Grammar for People Who Hate Rules is excellent. More info at https://ruthlesseditor.com/grammarbook/

 

9 Things All Writers Can Do at the Editing Stage

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by Jennifer Scott, guest blogger

As a writer, it can feel hard editing your own writing. You’re close to your own text, so how can you ensure you’re getting it right?

Here are 9 tips to help you edit your own writing effectively and make it the best it can be.

  1. Take A Break

First of all, take a step back from your manuscript. You’ve worked hard on it, so you deserve a break. Give it a week or two, and then come back to it. It’s much easier to be objective once you’ve taken your time and then come back to your writing.

  1. Read The Whole Thing Through Once

Book editor Janelle Green from Top Canadian Writers says, “Before you do anything, read the whole manuscript through once. It’s tempting to start getting right in there and making changes, but in fact you can be making things harder for yourself.” Read the whole thing through and make notes. Come at it from the perspective of a reader before you start editing.

  1. Chop Down Sentences

Take a look at the sentences in your work. Some of them will be longer, although not exactly run-on sentences. If you can, cut them down into shorter sentences. A long sentence can contain a couple of different ideas, and it’s easy to lose the reader if there’s too much going on.

  1. Don’t Rely On Spell Check

Spell check is a handy feature when you’re editing, but you can’t rely on it to catch everything. It’s fallible, just like any other editing software, and can miss errors if they don’t show up as incorrect. Use it by all means, but then follow with a manual check to look for any errors you’ve made.

  1. Read It Backwards

When you’re looking for technical errors in your writing, read it backwards. This way, you’ll be more likely to spot issues rather than be distracted with how the piece reads. You’d be amazed at how much this simple tip works.

  1. Don’t Forget The Grammar

No matter how experienced you are at writing, your grammar should always come under scrutiny when you’re proofreading. It’s easy to misunderstand a rule of grammar and create sections of text that need revision. If you’re struggling with this, don’t worry; there’s lots of help. Try the following sites:

  1. Watch Your Tone

The tone of your manuscript is important. If you’re writing a how-to text, a more straightforward approach is needed. If it’s a comedy book, of course inject more personality into it. Take a look at your tone and ensure it’s consistent.

  1. Read It Aloud

The best way to ensure your prose flows is to read it aloud. You’ll be able to see how your writing sounds to a first-time reader and make changes as needed.

  1. Get Help If You Need It

If you find it hard to edit your own writing, plenty of services are available to help. The Huffington Post in its “Write My Essay” feature explains why editing and writing services are more valuable than ever.

Use these 9 tips the next time you’re editing. You’ll be amazed at how much you can polish your writing before sending your manuscript to an editor.

Jennifer Scott works as an online editor at Best British Essays. Also, she is a business developer who works in education, technology, security, and online marketing. Contact Barbara for contact info for Jennifer Scott.

 

Readability Tip: Turn Long Noun Phrases into Short Lively Verbs

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by Barbara McNichol Writing tips

A tenet of readability and good writing is to “whack wordiness” wherever possible. One way involves replacing long noun phrases with short verbs. Consider these examples:

  • They remain in contradiction with themselves vs. They contradict themselves.
  • He made an acknowledgment of her success vs. He acknowledged her success.
  • We get closer to the implementation of actual leadership practice vs. We get closer to implementing actual leadership practice.

As you can see, you can whack wordiness by turning a long-winded “heavy” phrase into an active “lively” verb.

What clues do you look for? Start with flagging nouns ending in “ion” and “ment.”

When editing manuscripts, I make changes such as these dozens of times a day. What a difference this one technique makes! Try it for yourself.

Your challenge: Use this technique and send me examples.

See also: 5 Tips to Improve the Readability of Your Writing

Upcoming WordShops — More Ways to Boost Readability

Note: You’ll learn dozens of editor’s techniques by attending a business writing WordShop this May or June. You’ll come away with:

  • Ability to write persuasively with fewer words (“whack wordiness”)
  • Increased productivity and clarity in your writing
  • Improved correspondence with clients and friends.

Friday, May 6, 2016, at Tucson College in Tucson, AZ. Full details here.

Thursday, June 16, 2016, at DeVry University in Westminster, CO (hosted by Avante Leadership Group) Sign up here.

Share other ways you like to whack wordiness here.

Writing Tips: A Help or Hinder and What to Do Differently

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Do getting countless writing tips frustrate you? Jon Morrow says wear 6 hats.

Here’s how you want to feel about your writing!

by Barbara McNichol

I appreciate the thought-provoking words of advice from blogging expert Jon Morrow in his blog post about Writing Tips.

Read it in full to get the sense of which of his six writer’s “hats” to wear when. Then send me your comments about this approach. Jon writes:

Frustrating, isn’t it? You read countless tips about writing but hardly see any results. Here’s why they’re not working:

Why Most Writing Tips Are Useless (and How to Really Up Your Game)

Did you use Jon’s six-hat approach? What did you experience?

Last Review Before Manuscript Edit: What Authors Can Do to Smooth the Process

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book shelfby Barbara McNichol

 

In preparing to dive into his final review before I begin editing his nonfiction book, this conscientious author sent me this request:

Any guidance you can offer as to how to attack the beast, make smooth progress in the next two weeks and not get sucked in or bogged down but ultimately be helpful to you?

 My best advice to him applies to all authors at this stage of the process.

As you review every section, focus on content while asking these questions.

  • Have I included all the pertinent points that say what I want to say here?
  • Are any points missing?
  • Are all points relevant? (If not, now is the time to delete them.)
  • Would it be helpful to refer the reader to a section or a resource for additional information? (This could be a website, a book, your book, your website, another place in manuscript, Resources, etc.)

Before moving on to the next section, flag the quality of the writing in that section.

  • Is it smooth, awkward, or in between (okay)? You could simply use initials S, A, OK.

For the sake of speed and continuity, only label the writing; don’t rework it. Then any part you label “awkward,” decide if you want to

  1. rework it after the initial run through, or
  2. leave it for your editor to rework, or
  3. do a combination of both.

Also, include a note to your editor about your thoughts/actions. You might say: “I reworked this a bit but it could use more smoothing out.”

During this initial content-focused run through, be sure to take off your author’s hat and wear your reader’s hat. Do your best to “see” it from your reader’s viewpoint—a tricky thing to accomplish, but doing so will make a huge difference.

What points of advice would you add? Share them here.

Revising Your Own Writing: Part 2

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by Barbara McNichol

This follows an earlier blog post, Revising Your Own Writing: Part 1, with hints for revising your own writing and strengthening it in the process.

Have you been practicing the tips from Part 1?

Let me know your experience as you apply these ideas to your own masterpieces.

revise your writing

Sharpen your pen

  • Write for the ear; always read what you’ve written out loud to make sure it sounds right. You’ll catch unintended repeated words more easily, too.
  • “Ask myself” and “think to myself” are redundant. Consider using only the verb “ask” or “think.” In many cases, the “myself” part is unnecessary.
  • Avoid long-winded sentences. I recommend no more than 21 words in a sentence; any longer and the meaning may be hard for readers to follow.
  • Vary the length of your sentences. Variation keeps readers alert and adds spice to your writing. There’s strength (and punch) in brevity.
  • In running text, spell out the name of a state or province. E.g., CO should be Colorado; SK should be Saskatchewan. For abbreviations of geographic places, periods are generally the accepted style. E.g., U.S. instead of US; D.C. for District of Columbia.

Write to One Person, Not Many

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writing keyboard and penby Barbara McNichol

When you sit down and write a book or even a marketing message, do you imagine talking to one person or several? Too often, authors think they’re addressing a multitude of readers and let phrases such as “many of you” and “a few of you” creep in.

Remember, reading is a solitary activity. Regard the person who reads what you write as an audience of one.

 

 

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