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Concise Writing: Why Does It Matter?

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by James Corgin (used with permission)

Post-modern society has witnessed a tendency to simplify everything it can. We are lost in a sea of unnecessary information. Research has found that we use only 37% of the information taught at school. Of course, there’s also the continuous flow of advertisement and social media updates that inundate us.

That is why information overload is the problem of the 21st century. Some years from now, scientists will probably find a way to decrease its effect, but for now we have only one option – to communicate more concisely. The definition of concise writing is simple: use as few words as possible to convey your message. Below you will find some advice on how to slim down your word count.

Fillers You Should Drop for Concise Writing

If you intend to make your writing concise, avoid these words. We have grouped them into four categories for your convenience. In most cases, these English fillers are superfluous. Sometimes, however, fillers create a necessary rhythm or make the text sound “natural,” so you’ll need to review them on a case-by-case basis.

Redundant Words 

Redundant words repeat the meaning of other words in the sentence. If it is possible to say the same thing in fewer words, always do so.

  • Absolutely + necessary or essential:

Example: Love was absolutely essential to her happiness.

Revision: Love was essential for her happiness.

  • Entirely:

Example: The virus will be entirely eliminated.

Revision: The virus will be eliminated.

  • Completely:

Example: He was completely sure the girl would say “yes.”

Revision: He was sure the girl would say “yes.”

  • Possibly:

Example: He could possibly become the next president.

Revision: He could become the next president.

  • Brief + moment: 

Example: For a brief moment, he remained speechless.

Revision: For a moment, he remained speechless.

  • Ask + the question:

Example: I asked her a question about our plans.

Revision: I asked her about our plans.

  • Actual + facts: 

Example: The policeman submitted the actual facts about the case.

Revision: The policeman submitted the facts about the case.

  • Accordingly: 

Example: Accordingly, ask before making changes next time.

Revision: Ask before making changes next time.

  • ATM machine: (The abbreviation “ATM” stands for “automated teller machine.”)

Example: The ATM machine is around the corner.

Revision: The ATM is around the corner.

  • Enter in:

Example: He entered in his childhood room.

Revision: He entered his childhood room.

  • So or very:

Example: I was so glad to see him.

Revision: I was glad to see him.

  • Still remains:

Example: The author still remains the most prominent figure of the 19th century.

Revision: The author remains the most prominent figure of the 19th century.

Nominalizations 

Nominalization is when you use a noun instead of a verb or adjective. This practice usually slows the reader down. Since action words – like verbs – are more dynamic, you should try to avoid unnecessary nominalizations. Here are some examples:

  • Definition: 

Example: Her definition of self-care was getting enough sleep and eating well.

Revision: She defined self-care as getting enough sleep and eating well.

  • Accuracy:

Example: The accuracy of our study was insufficient.

Revision: Our study was inaccurate.

  • Description: 

Example: Provide a description of the design you prefer.

Revision: Please describe the design you prefer.

  • Had a discussion concerning:

Example: They had a discussion concerning the business perspectives.

Revision: They discussed the business perspectives.

  • Had a conversation about:

Example: They had a conversation about their relationships.

Revision: They discussed their relationships.

  • Have a need for:

Example: I have a need for a day off.

Revision: I need a day off.

  • Increase in strength:

Example: Their love increased in strength.

Revision: Their love grew stronger.

  • Is aware of: 

Example: He was aware of her hatred.

Revision: He realized she hated him.

  • Is in love with:

Example: They are in love with each other.

Revision: They love each other.

  • Lack the ability to: 

Example: I lack the ability to wake up early in the morning.

Revision: I cannot wake up early in the morning.

  • Make a decision to:

Example: I couldn’t make a decision to end our communication.

Revision: I couldn’t decide to end our communication.

  • Reaction:

Example: His reaction offended me.

Revision: The way he reacted offended me.

Vague Words 

Vague language is common in colloquial speech, but in writing, it looks unprofessional. Vague words lack solid definitions. Avoid the words below or replace them, following the instructions.

  • About: 

Example: About 100 visitors left reviews.

Revision: Approximately 100 visitors left reviews.

  • Almost: 

Example: It was almost time to leave.

Revision: They left a few minutes later.

  • Get: 

Example: You need to get stronger.

Revision: You need to become stronger.

  • Get out of:

Example: The building is on fire; get out of it.

Revision: You need to exit the building because it’s on fire.

  • Individual:

Example: Any individual shall have a place of residence.

Revision: Any person shall have a place of residence.

  • Initial:

Example: My initial thought was to leave.

Revision: At first, I thought to leave.

  • You’re going to have to:

Example: You’re going to have to finish this at home.

Revision: You must finish this at home.

  • Make available:

Example: Our service makes available multiple useful features.

Revision: Our service presents multiple useful features.

  • Area:

Example: We left the area.

Revision: We left the country.

  • Aspect:

Example: Planning is my least favorite aspect of traveling.

Revision: I like to travel, but I do not like to plan.

  • Situation:

Example: The situation grew dangerous.

Revision: The uprising grew dangerous.

  • Small, big, good, or bad:

Example: He was a good person.

Revision: He was a kind and caring person.

Empty Phrases 

Empty phrases mean nothing in the literal sense. By the way, “in the literal sense” is also a meaningless phrase. These words distract the reader from your message and can sound colloquial. In many cases, you can do without them or replace them with a more meaningful construction.

  • All things being equal: 

Example: All things being equal, we will earn twice as much next year.

Revision: If all goes well, we will earn twice as much next year.

  • Due to the fact that:

Example: Due to the fact that he is a doctor, he minds his health.

Revision: Since he is a doctor, he minds his health.

  • For all intents and purposes: 

Example: For all intents and purposes, the protagonist will die in the end.

Revision: In the end, the protagonist will die.

  • For the most part:

Example: For the most part, I like Chinese food.

Revision: I like Chinese food.

  • For the purpose of:

Example: I go in for sport for the purpose of keeping in shape.

Revision: I go in for sport to keep in shape.

  • Go ahead:

Example: Go ahead and kill that bug.

Revision: Kill that bug.

  • Harder than it has to be:

Example: The woman made their relationship harder than it had to be.

Revision: The woman made their relationship harder than necessary.

  • Here’s the thing: 

Example: I’ll tell you the story. Here’s the thing.

Revision: I’ll tell you the story. Once upon a time…

  • I feel/believe that: 

Example: I believe that I am capable of doing it.

Revision: I am capable of doing it.

  • I might add:

Example: He is handsome, I might add.

Revision: He is handsome.

  • Integrate with each other:

Example: The devices must integrate with each other to function correctly.

Revision: The devices must integrate to function correctly.

  • In terms of:

Example: His new position was perfect in terms of salary.

Revision: The salary was perfect in his new position.

Thanks for James Corgin for this article that originated at https://ivypanda.com/blog/filler-words/

Whack Extraneous Phrases in Your Writing

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Remove unnecessary words and improve your writing skills.

In The Elements of Style, iconic authors William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White called word clutter “the leeches that infest the pond of prose, sucking the blood out of words.”

Yes, the same E.B. White who gave us beloved children’s stories like Stuart Little, The Trumpet of the Swan and Charlotte’s Web also gave us that visceral description…

Whack wordiness

What is word clutter? Word clutter refers to unnecessary words in a sentence. Why – and how – do you eliminate them? If Strunk and White’s metaphor doesn’t make a believer out of you, then read on, because voiding word clutter in your writing will help you become a better, more effective communicator.

To clutter or not to clutter – that is the question.

When writing poetry, descriptive words are acceptable – even expected – because you’re trying to paint a picture with words. The art is in the rhyme, the imagery, the emotions you want to invoke in your audience.

But in business communication, it’s imperative that you trim the excess fat. Your readers are busy like you – they don’t need to wade through extra words to get the meaning of your message. 

No one in business wants to think of themselves as a “cog in the wheel,” but Strunk Jr. summed up the importance of brevity beautifully:

A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts.

Your business is like a piece of machinery, and efficiency matters. So, do your reader a favor: tune up your writing and whack out the extra phrases.

Unclutter.

“Word clutter” refers to unnecessary words that don’t add meaning to a sentence. When you’re writing a non-fiction book or an email, whack them out. This often means choosing an active, rather than the passive verb.

Take time to fine-tune your message by whacking these phrases: 

  • “is intended to” or “is meant to” or “is designed to”

Example: “He gives a workshop that is designed to teach writing skills.”

Fine-tune it: “He gives a workshop that teaches writing skills.”

  • “it is all about” or “the fact of the matter is” or “it’s important to remember that”

Example: “It’s important to remember that it’s unwise to drive during a blizzard.”

Fine-tune it:  “It’s unwise to drive during a blizzard.”

  • “is going to”

Example: “She is going to be a key contributor.”

Fine-tune it: “She will be a key contributor.”

  • “In order to…”

Example: “Add keywords in order to describe the new position.”

Fine-tune it: “Add keywords to describe the new position.”

  • “there is” or “there will be”

Example: “There will be several managers attending the meeting.”

Fine-tune it: “Several managers will attend the meeting.”

  • “The reason why is that”

Example: “The meeting has been moved to the 2nd-floor conference room. The reason why is that we need more seating capacity.”

Fine-tune it: “The meeting was moved to the 2nd-floor conference room because we need more seating capacity.”

  • “at this time”

Example: “We’re not accepting any more registrations for the conference at this time.”

Fine-tune it: We’re not accepting registrations for the conference now.”

Never forget: more words don’t necessarily give more meaning, especially in business communication. Your time is valuable. Show respect to your colleagues by trimming your emails, memos and reports – whack wordiness! You’ll be doing your colleagues a favor.

Now, do yourself a favor: get a red pen and take time to read over a recent email or letter you wrote. Ask, “Did I really need that word/phrase?” Circle all the unnecessary words. Then think about the time you could have saved yourself and your reader if you’d left them out! A little investment in time at the beginning of your writing project will save you and your readers time in the long run.

Do you have any “pet peeves” when it comes to word clutter? I’d love to know about them. If you’d like more helpful tips, you can sign up for Word Trippers Tips  or book a WordShop for your whole team to strengthen your business writing skills.

Did you find this article helpful? Then you might enjoy these:

Is Your Writing Pompous?

Poor Writing Means Your Credibility Is at Stake!

Mixing Singular with Plural: Keep the Old Rules with Some New Tricks

This article was originally published on March 26th, 2015, and has since been updated.

Why Care About Your Writing Voice and How Can You Improve It?

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By Barbara McNichol

Why care about your writing voice?

 

I agonize over how to help authors, business professionals, and WordShop students use their writing voice in interesting, meaningful ways.

Good writing requires more than just grammar and spelling. It’s style, catching someone’s attention, and making readers understand the conviction behind the words.

In my experience, one writing technique stands above all others…it adds power and memorability, and it makes writing good reading. Read on!

short verbs

Pop Quiz

You’ve likely heard that people prefer the active voice over the passive. But do you know why?

 

Answer

Writing in the active writing voice is powerful and dynamic. It catches and holds the reader’s attention far better than passive statements. The passive writing voice is a little “weasley.” It hides responsibility for action, and it can be ambiguous, confusing, and boring.

Furthermore,

  • The active voice conveys ideas quickly and directly.
  • The active voice clearly spells out the action and who is doing it.
  • The active voice frequently requires fewer words than passive sentences—helpful when space is limited.

Which is Which?

In a sentence written in the active voice, the subject of the sentence performs the action. In a sentence written in the passive voice, the subject receives the action.

Examples:

  • Active – I created Word Trippers Tips ADVANTAGE Program and I guarantee it will make you a better writer.
  • Passive – The Word Trippers Tips ADVANTAGE Program was created to make you a better writer.

It’s True. My Word Trippers Tips ADVANTAGE Program will absolutely make you a better writer.

You’ll find nothing else like this program. It’s easy. Fun. And available for less than the price of a new outfit. (And think how many new outfits you can buy with a higher-paying job because you wrote a powerful résumé and cover letter.)

Not a book … not a course … this program takes almost no time every week to absorb.

LEARN MORE HERE.

Be a Better Writer and See Your Career Soar

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Do you want to be More Valuable to your company or your clients? Your writing qualifies you for hiring, for retaining, and for getting promoted. But writing is the gateway to rejection, too. 

People judge your abilities by the quality of your writing.

It’s a harsh fact. In business, people who don’t write well to communicate—who don’t  select the right words to express complex ideas—are perceived as lacking credibility … professionalism … accuracy in their work.

On the flip side, those who master the written word are remembered as influential … reputable … successful.

My name is Barbara McNichol, chief architect of Word Trippers Tips. After years of editing nonfiction manuscripts and proofreading hundreds of thousands of lines of copy, I realized that everyone makes mistakes … everyone mixes up similar words … and everyone loses credibility the moment readers recognize the errors.

I have turned those common errors into a program professionals use to improve their writing instantly: Word Trippers Tips. It includes a 38-minute WEBINAR on its own and/or 12 MONTHS Word Tripper of the Week plus bonuses.

How can you learn to be a better writer and make your career soar?

Go to www.WordTrippers.com  and/or listen to this teleclass 5 Nuggets Successful People Know and Use on better writing.

Please share you comments and questions here.

Plant Word Pictures in Their Minds

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by Dee Dukehart (used with permission)

Spring’s the time for planting, nourishing and growing, and not just plants and vegetables.

When you present your ideas, knowledge, directions, or how to’s, plant your points into the readers’ minds with word pictures, and continue to nourish the points along the way. When you want to grow their learning, their future, and their well-being, use action verbs and descriptive information.

Describe your points with action verbs: verbs you can “see”: e.g., produce, generate, write, sell, achieve, deliver, etc.  When possible, rid your spoken and written words of auxiliary verbs: e.g., is, was, has, had, have, etc. Use a strong, action verb in their place if you can.

Examples:

  • We had an increase in sales last quarter. OR Our sales increased by 14 percent last quarter.
  • It was a great day for our team. OR We signed three new contracts today!

Which one gets you to “see” the action? Of course the second sentence.

How to Plant Word Pictures

Meetings get bogged down in minutia: a “quick” meeting can sometimes lag into hours. Make your meetings and presentations memorable with points that are worthy of everyone’s time.  What seeds of information are you cultivating for them to reap personal and professional benefits?

What do you remember from last week’s meetings?  What do you remember from a sales call?  What do you remember from any training?  When you want listeners to remember your points, plant word pictures in their minds.

How? Rid your writing of vague expressions such as these:

1)      Better

2)     Satisfactory

3)     Understand

4)     Good

5)     Improves

6)     Soon

What pictures do you conjure up in your mind when you read those words? Can you “see” the concept of better? Understand? Soon? No. Information needs to show “color” like your garden, so nourish and feed it so you can “see” the knowledge blossom.

Consider These Variations

1)      Instead of “better” use a statistic. “Your production escalates by x percent within a year when you use these tools.”

2)     Your sales numbers were “satisfactory.”  Instead:  “Your sales numbers exceeded our goal by 65 widgets; let’s get to 100 by fourth quarter.”

3)     “Understand?”  Everyone understands differently.  Instead: “You will recognize/identify your new time management skills by the extra hour in your day.”

4)     “Improves.”  By how much?  By how many? By when? Instead: “Accomplish your goals in six fewer steps with this process.”

5)     “Soon.”  What date?  What time? What quarter? Instead: “Get your initial draft to me by the end of the week. We expect to see our new product on the shelves in 45 days.”

Strive to plant a picture in your readers’ minds, then nourish your points with review and repetition.  Your ideas, knowledge, products or services, and how-to’s will grow more fruit.

Here’s to your great harvest seasons of information.

Dee Dukehart is a marketing communications trainer who can be reached at 303-549-0045 or Dee@DeeDukehart.com

Change Long Nouns to Short Verbs to Whack Wordiness

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short verbsby Barbara McNichol

Ever wonder how to make your sentences less verbose and more direct?

Here’s a trick that works like magic: Change long nouns to short verbs.

Consider the differences in these three examples from a nonfiction manuscript I edited:

  • “They remain in contradiction with themselves” vs. “They contradict themselves.”
  • “He made an acknowledgment of her success” vs. “He acknowledged her success.”
  • “We get closer to the implementation of leadership practices” vs. “We get closer to implementing leadership practices.”

Study these examples. They show how you can increase readability by turning a long-winded “heavy” phrase into an active “lively” verb. What clues do you look for? Nouns ending in “ion” and “ment.”

Whatever I’m editing, I’m using this “magic” trick dozens of times a day. What a difference this one technique can make! Try it for yourself.

Action: Identify “ion” and “ment” words in your writing, then rewrite them using a lively verb.

What techniques do you use to whack wordiness? Share them here.

Readability Tip: Turn Long Noun Phrases into Short Lively Verbs

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by Barbara McNichol Writing tips

A tenet of readability and good writing is to “whack wordiness” wherever possible. One way involves replacing long noun phrases with short verbs. Consider these examples:

  • They remain in contradiction with themselves vs. They contradict themselves.
  • He made an acknowledgment of her success vs. He acknowledged her success.
  • We get closer to the implementation of actual leadership practice vs. We get closer to implementing actual leadership practice.

As you can see, you can whack wordiness by turning a long-winded “heavy” phrase into an active “lively” verb.

What clues do you look for? Start with flagging nouns ending in “ion” and “ment.”

When editing manuscripts, I make changes such as these dozens of times a day. What a difference this one technique makes! Try it for yourself.

Your challenge: Use this technique and send me examples.

See also: 5 Tips to Improve the Readability of Your Writing

Upcoming WordShops — More Ways to Boost Readability

Note: You’ll learn dozens of editor’s techniques by attending a business writing WordShop this May or June. You’ll come away with:

  • Ability to write persuasively with fewer words (“whack wordiness”)
  • Increased productivity and clarity in your writing
  • Improved correspondence with clients and friends.

Friday, May 6, 2016, at Tucson College in Tucson, AZ. Full details here.

Thursday, June 16, 2016, at DeVry University in Westminster, CO (hosted by Avante Leadership Group) Sign up here.

Share other ways you like to whack wordiness here.

A Challenge: Two Whack Wordiness Assignments

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by Barbara McNichol

I constantly encourage authors and business professionals to improve their writing by tightening their paragraphs. But what does that mean? Getting your point across with words that each carry their own weight in the sentence and “whacking” those that don’t. Your goal? Creating maximum clarity using a minimum number of words. That’s whacking wordiness!

Whack wordiness

Whack Wordiness Exercise #1

Here’s your challenge: Tighten the paragraph below by rewriting it. Convey the essence of this paragraph using 21 words–fewer if you can. Ready, go!

The subsequent chapters then will focus in great detail on each of the steps to make sure you know how to accomplish each step before proceeding to the next step and how to measure whether or not you are ready to move to the next step.

Whack Wordiness Exercise #2

Your next (and more meaningful) assignment is this:

Dig out a page or two of your own writing and pick the longest paragraph you’ve written. Count the number of words in that paragraph and then rewrite it completely, reducing that number by a third, even half. Ensure you keep the meaning intact while making each word carry its own weight.

Send me the results of either assignment or both (email both the before/after writings or post them in this blog) and you’ll receive direct feedback from me.

Give it a whack! And share what you’ve learned here.

Request a Whack Wordiness handout.

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