concise writing Archives - Barbara McNichol Editorial Services

Concise Writing: Why Does It Matter?

February 11, 2021 by Barbara McNichol

by James Corgin (used with permission)

Post-modern society has witnessed a tendency to simplify everything it can. We are lost in a sea of unnecessary information. Research has found that we use only 37% of the information taught at school. Of course, there’s also the continuous flow of advertisement and social media updates that inundate us.

That is why information overload is the problem of the 21st century. Some years from now, scientists will probably find a way to decrease its effect, but for now we have only one option – to communicate more concisely. The definition of concise writing is simple: use as few words as possible to convey your message. Below you will find some advice on how to slim down your word count.

Fillers You Should Drop for Concise Writing

If you intend to make your writing concise, avoid these words. We have grouped them into four categories for your convenience. In most cases, these English fillers are superfluous. Sometimes, however, fillers create a necessary rhythm or make the text sound “natural,” so you’ll need to review them on a case-by-case basis.

Redundant Words

Redundant words repeat the meaning of other words in the sentence. If it is possible to say the same thing in fewer words, always do so.

Absolutely + necessary or essential:

Example: Love was absolutely essential to her happiness.

Revision: Love was essential for her happiness.

Entirely:

Example: The virus will be entirely eliminated.

Revision: The virus will be eliminated.

Completely:

Example: He was completely sure the girl would say “yes.”

Revision: He was sure the girl would say “yes.”

Possibly:

Example: He could possibly become the next president.

Revision: He could become the next president.

Brief + moment:

Example: For a brief moment, he remained speechless.

Revision: For a moment, he remained speechless.

Ask + the question:

Example: I asked her a question about our plans.

Revision: I asked her about our plans.

Actual + facts:

Example: The policeman submitted the actual facts about the case.

Revision: The policeman submitted the facts about the case.

Accordingly:

Example: Accordingly, ask before making changes next time.

Revision: Ask before making changes next time.

ATM machine: (The abbreviation “ATM” stands for “automated teller machine.”)

Example: The ATM machine is around the corner.

Revision: The ATM is around the corner.

Enter in:

Example: He entered in his childhood room.

Revision: He entered his childhood room.

So or very:

Example: I was so glad to see him.

Revision: I was glad to see him.

Still remains:

Example: The author still remains the most prominent figure of the 19th century.

Revision: The author remains the most prominent figure of the 19th century.

Nominalizations

Nominalization is when you use a noun instead of a verb or adjective. This practice usually slows the reader down. Since action words – like verbs – are more dynamic, you should try to avoid unnecessary nominalizations. Here are some examples:

Definition:

Example: Her definition of self-care was getting enough sleep and eating well.

Revision: She defined self-care as getting enough sleep and eating well.

Accuracy:

Example: The accuracy of our study was insufficient.

Revision: Our study was inaccurate.

Description:

Example: Provide a description of the design you prefer.

Revision: Please describe the design you prefer.

Had a discussion concerning:

Example: They had a discussion concerning the business perspectives.

Revision: They discussed the business perspectives.

Had a conversation about:

Example: They had a conversation about their relationships.

Revision: They discussed their relationships.

Have a need for:

Example: I have a need for a day off.

Revision: I need a day off.

Increase in strength:

Example: Their love increased in strength.

Revision: Their love grew stronger.

Is aware of:

Example: He was aware of her hatred.

Revision: He realized she hated him.

Is in love with:

Example: They are in love with each other.

Revision: They love each other.

Lack the ability to:

Example: I lack the ability to wake up early in the morning.

Revision: I cannot wake up early in the morning.

Make a decision to:

Example: I couldn’t make a decision to end our communication.

Revision: I couldn’t decide to end our communication.

Reaction:

Example: His reaction offended me.

Revision: The way he reacted offended me.

Vague Words

Vague language is common in colloquial speech, but in writing, it looks unprofessional. Vague words lack solid definitions. Avoid the words below or replace them, following the instructions.

About:

Example: About 100 visitors left reviews.

Revision: Approximately 100 visitors left reviews.

Almost:

Example: It was almost time to leave.

Revision: They left a few minutes later.

Get:

Example: You need to get stronger.

Revision: You need to become stronger.

Get out of:

Example: The building is on fire; get out of it.

Revision: You need to exit the building because it’s on fire.

Individual:

Example: Any individual shall have a place of residence.

Revision: Any person shall have a place of residence.

Initial:

Example: My initial thought was to leave.

Revision: At first, I thought to leave.

You’re going to have to:

Example: You’re going to have to finish this at home.

Revision: You must finish this at home.

Make available:

Example: Our service makes available multiple useful features.

Revision: Our service presents multiple useful features.

Area:

Example: We left the area.

Revision: We left the country.

Aspect:

Example: Planning is my least favorite aspect of traveling.

Revision: I like to travel, but I do not like to plan.

Situation:

Example: The situation grew dangerous.

Revision: The uprising grew dangerous.

Small, big, good, or bad:

Example: He was a good person.

Revision: He was a kind and caring person.

Empty Phrases

Empty phrases mean nothing in the literal sense. By the way, “in the literal sense” is also a meaningless phrase. These words distract the reader from your message and can sound colloquial. In many cases, you can do without them or replace them with a more meaningful construction.

All things being equal:

Example: All things being equal, we will earn twice as much next year.

Revision: If all goes well, we will earn twice as much next year.

Due to the fact that:

Example: Due to the fact that he is a doctor, he minds his health.

Revision: Since he is a doctor, he minds his health.

For all intents and purposes:

Example: For all intents and purposes, the protagonist will die in the end.

Revision: In the end, the protagonist will die.

For the most part:

Example: For the most part, I like Chinese food.

Revision: I like Chinese food.

For the purpose of:

Example: I go in for sport for the purpose of keeping in shape.

Revision: I go in for sport to keep in shape.

Go ahead:

Example: Go ahead and kill that bug.

Revision: Kill that bug.

Harder than it has to be:

Example: The woman made their relationship harder than it had to be.

Revision: The woman made their relationship harder than necessary.

Here’s the thing:

Example: I’ll tell you the story. Here’s the thing.

Revision: I’ll tell you the story. Once upon a time…

I feel/believe that:

Example: I believe that I am capable of doing it.

Revision: I am capable of doing it.

I might add:

Example: He is handsome, I might add.

Revision: He is handsome.

Integrate with each other:

Example: The devices must integrate with each other to function correctly.

Revision: The devices must integrate to function correctly.

In terms of:

Example: His new position was perfect in terms of salary.

Revision: The salary was perfect in his new position.

Thanks for James Corgin for this article that originated at https://ivypanda.com/blog/filler-words/

Whack Wordiness: How to Stop Rambling

June 1, 2020 by Barbara McNichol

More words don’t always translate into more meaning.

You’ve heard me say this before…

It’s important to avoid excessive wordiness in your writing, especially when you’re in a business setting. Your colleague’s, reader’s, or customer’s time is precious. They need to know what you need, what you offer, or what you’re suggesting quickly and concisely.

If you find yourself rambling, it might be due to a lack of focus in your message, and that needs to be addressed. If you are unclear about “why” you’re writing, the “what” and “how” you’re writing will give it away.

We’ve all been hardwired to write essays that meet a certain word count – e.g., 1000 words on the merits of a new book, 600 words about the meaning of Hemingway’s A Farewell to Arms – but it isn’t necessary for everyday business or nonfiction writing. So, how do you chisel the point of your message?

Chisel the point!

Do you want to have precision and clarity in your writing? Then take time to do this simple exercise:

Sum up the point of your communication in one sentence.

After you’ve done that, you can take a step back and decide what supporting information you absolutely need to share to get your point across.

This might mean referring to research or someone else’s communications.

Then after you’ve finished making your case, run through this checklist:

Did I put any unnecessary facts in the message?
Did I add any phrases that weren’t relevant to the point?
Did I consider what my reader was expecting from my message?
Did I give any thought to making my sentences flow?
Did I get straight to the point or take too many detours?

That last point – avoiding the detours – is an important one. You need to resist the urge to use “filler words” that come across as fluff. This includes dodging phrases like:

It goes without saying…
The fact of the matter is…
In other words…
Further to my point…
To be honest with you…

Get with the formula…

If you’re writing fiction, you would definitely steer clear of following a formula. But when it comes to writing clear, concise business communication, you’ll be doing yourself – and your reader – a favor if you follow these simple guidelines to whack wordiness.

Use no more than:

5 paragraphs per page.
5 sentences per paragraph.
15 words per sentence.
3 syllables per word.

It might seem like an onerous task to edit your own writing, but the minutes it will take to shave your message, reduce wordiness, and share only the salient points will win you points with your readers.

This might feel clunky and time-consuming at first, but hang in there. Like any new routine – diet, exercise, sleep – you’ll get into a rhythm, and it will become second nature to you.

Take a practice run.

Not sure you can follow these guidelines? Take a practice run at reducing the wordiness in your emails and letters. Pull up something you sent last week…something that was important but hasn’t been addressed by your reader yet. Then run it through this filter:

Count the number of paragraphs. Fewer than 5?
Count the number of sentences in a paragraph. Fewer than 5?
Count the number of words in a paragraph. Fewer than 15?
Now circle the words that contain 4 syllables or more, such as dis·pro·por·tion·ate·ly.

How did you do? Be honest! Did you identify areas where you could have taken a shortcut and saved your reader time?

If you follow these four steps, you’ll gain clues about where your rambling takes you. Detours dilute your message and can affect how you’re perceived by your audience.

If you’d like to learn more about the ways you can trim the fat from your writing, contact me, or sign up for my Word Trippers Tips program and get tips delivered right to your inbox every week for a year.

Did you find this article helpful? Here are three more to help you communicate with credibility, clarity, and efficiency:

Why Make a BIG DEAL Out of Correct Spelling and Grammar?
Do You Use These Common Phrases Correctly?
Word Meanings Essential to Know in These Unprecedented Times

This article was originally published in 2010, but has been updated in June 2020. Feel free to comment below.

Whack Extraneous Phrases in Your Writing

March 2, 2020 by Barbara McNichol

In The Elements of Style, iconic authors William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White called word clutter “the leeches that infest the pond of prose, sucking the blood out of words.”

Yes, the same E.B. White who gave us beloved children’s stories like Stuart Little, The Trumpet of the Swan and Charlotte’s Web also gave us that visceral description…

What is word clutter? Word clutter refers to unnecessary words in a sentence. Why – and how – do you eliminate them? If Strunk and White’s metaphor doesn’t make a believer out of you, then read on, because voiding word clutter in your writing will help you become a better, more effective communicator.

To clutter or not to clutter – that is the question.

When writing poetry, descriptive words are acceptable – even expected – because you’re trying to paint a picture with words. The art is in the rhyme, the imagery, the emotions you want to invoke in your audience.

But in business communication, it’s imperative that you trim the excess fat. Your readers are busy like you – they don’t need to wade through extra words to get the meaning of your message.

No one in business wants to think of themselves as a “cog in the wheel,” but Strunk Jr. summed up the importance of brevity beautifully:

A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts.

Your business is like a piece of machinery, and efficiency matters. So, do your reader a favor: tune up your writing and whack out the extra phrases.

Unclutter.

“Word clutter” refers to unnecessary words that don’t add meaning to a sentence. When you’re writing a non-fiction book or an email, whack them out. This often means choosing an active, rather than the passive verb.

Take time to fine-tune your message by whacking these phrases:

“is intended to” or “is meant to” or “is designed to”

Example: “He gives a workshop that is designed to teach writing skills.”

Fine-tune it: “He gives a workshop that teaches writing skills.”

“it is all about” or “the fact of the matter is” or “it’s important to remember that”

Example: “It’s important to remember that it’s unwise to drive during a blizzard.”

Fine-tune it: “It’s unwise to drive during a blizzard.”

“is going to”

Example: “She is going to be a key contributor.”

Fine-tune it: “She will be a key contributor.”

“In order to…”

Example: “Add keywords in order to describe the new position.”

Fine-tune it: “Add keywords to describe the new position.”

“there is” or “there will be”

Example: “There will be several managers attending the meeting.”

Fine-tune it: “Several managers will attend the meeting.”

“The reason why is that”

Example: “The meeting has been moved to the 2nd-floor conference room. The reason why is that we need more seating capacity.”

Fine-tune it: “The meeting was moved to the 2nd-floor conference room because we need more seating capacity.”

“at this time”

Example: “We’re not accepting any more registrations for the conference at this time.”

Fine-tune it: We’re not accepting registrations for the conference now.”

Never forget: more words don’t necessarily give more meaning, especially in business communication. Your time is valuable. Show respect to your colleagues by trimming your emails, memos and reports – whack wordiness! You’ll be doing your colleagues a favor.

Now, do yourself a favor: get a red pen and take time to read over a recent email or letter you wrote. Ask, “Did I really need that word/phrase?” Circle all the unnecessary words. Then think about the time you could have saved yourself and your reader if you’d left them out! A little investment in time at the beginning of your writing project will save you and your readers time in the long run.

Do you have any “pet peeves” when it comes to word clutter? I’d love to know about them. If you’d like more helpful tips, you can sign up for Word Trippers Tips or book a WordShop for your whole team to strengthen your business writing skills.

Did you find this article helpful? Then you might enjoy these:

Is Your Writing Pompous?

Poor Writing Means Your Credibility Is at Stake!

Mixing Singular with Plural: Keep the Old Rules with Some New Tricks

This article was originally published on March 26th, 2015, and has since been updated.

Fine-Tune Your Writing Through an Editor’s Lens

October 18, 2018 by Barbara McNichol Leave a Comment

by Barbara McNichol

fine-tunr your writing Whenever you write something—a report, article, proposal, manuscript, or sensitive email—you naturally don a writer’s hat. But don’t stop there. You’re not finished! It’s time to scrutinize and then fine-tune what you’ve crafted.

Start with this question: Does every word contribute to conveying your intended message?

To answer that question, you need to reread your piece (at least three times) as if you’ve never seen it before. It’s akin to “thinking like an editor” by examining every phrase/sentence and asking:

Is it NECESSARY?

Is it CLEAR?

Is it CONCISE?

If you can’t confidently answer YES to these questions, pay attention to the following fixes and use them wherever it’s appropriate.

NECESSARY: Be picky and picky again. Delete whichever elements don’t support the piece’s meaning.

CLEAR: Ensure subjects and verbs agree; no mixing singular and plural. For example,

Incorrect: A group of writers were in town. (“Group” is singular while “were” is plural.)
Correct: A group of writers was in town. (“Group” is the subject here, not “writers.”)

CONCISE: Whack wordiness by getting rid of extraneous phrases and words that add no value—e.g., really, some, great, very, that. Change these wobbly words to something specific and/or descriptive that gives readers more information. For example,

Let’s add some examples to the report.
Let’s add 12 examples to the report.

By looking through your editor’s lens, you can fine-tune your writing to ensure every word counts toward getting your message across.