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Active Verbs Inspire Action

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by Barbara McNichol

Do you know the difference between an “active” voice and a “passive” voice? Do you know when—and how—to use active verbs and passive verbs to get your message across?

Should you even care?

Yes. Because choosing the right voice changes your message. Don’t let a poor choice trip you up!

Here’s an explanation of the difference between the two voices and why you should pay attention.

How will I recognize active verbs?

These sentences feature active verbs:

  • Joanna manages the human resources department.
  • Spencer purchases all the office supplies.
  • Erik generates $1 million in annual revenue.

Read the same sentences using passive verbs:

  • The human resources department is being managed by Joanna.
  • All the office supplies are being purchased by Spencer.
  • $1 million in annual revenue is being generated by Erik.

The first group of sentences follows a Subject + Verb + Object structure. The second set gets the same message across but in more words. Yet, it lacks clarity and precision.

Why should I choose active instead of passive verbs?

Consider these three reasons:

  1. Active verbs declare who or what is—or should be—performing the action. You avoid confusion, guesswork, and dodging responsibility. (More on this point to follow.)
  2. Active verbs make your writing flow better. In business writing especially, your colleagues and clients demand you get to the point quickly.
  3. Active verbs eliminate the need for extra words, which requires striving to “whack wordiness” in your writing.

When should I use a passive voice?

If you can’t identify the “doer” of the action—the subject—the sentence has probably been constructed in the passive voice.

Even when the subject is clear, though, two clues help you identify “passive” sentences:

  • The word “by”
  • Variations of the verb “to be”

Use of a passive voice often leads to weasel-like language and can undermine your credibility in business communication. Your readers might think you’re avoiding taking responsibility for an aspect of your company’s service. This could set them on edge.

However, a passive voice can be useful when you require ambiguity. For example:

  • Refunds will not be issued.
  • Email inquiries will be answered in two business days.
  • Votes will be tallied at the end of each session.

Read the same sentences with an active voice:

  • The accounting department will not issue refunds.
  • Jackson is responsible for answering email inquiries in two business days.
  • The nomination committee will tally votes at the end of each session.

Using passive voice can be appropriate when you honestly don’t know the identity of the subject. For example:

  • The bank was robbed this afternoon.
  • Your product will be delivered tomorrow.
  • A ten-thousand-dollar donation was made at the fundraiser.

As details become available, though, you can rewrite the sentences in active voice:

  • A former employee, Robert Smith, robbed the bank this afternoon.
  • Helen will deliver your product tomorrow.
  • The Watson family made a ten-thousand-dollar donation at the fundraiser.

Using active verbs gets others to act.

Readers who understand who is doing the action, where, when, and why, without having to filter through extra words will likely join your cause. This applies to a discussion, a marketing campaign, or even a job application.

Consider these examples:

Passive: Public meetings are being held by the engineering team to discuss the merits of our building proposal.

  • Active: The public is invited to meetings with the engineering team to discuss our building proposal.
  • Passive: Feedback will be encouraged when our engineering team provides their update to the community.
  • Active: The community is encouraged to provide feedback to the engineering team.
  • Passive: Repairs are being done on the faulty security software by our IT department.
  • Active: The IT department is repairing the faulty security software.

Now it’s your turn. (It’s okay to make up a subject here. Write your answer in the Comments section below.)

  • Passive: This policy is being implemented in an effort to streamline our process.
  • Active:

Brevity is still bliss.

When writing fiction or nonfiction for recreational readers, using an interesting turn of phrase or literary device like alliteration makes reading a joy. But when readers have to have information quickly, don’t wax prophetic. Use the right tools to help you get to the point and improve your results.

If you’d like to learn more about ways to whack wordiness and tune up your written communication skills, contact me.

Do You Resist Improving Your Writing?

Is Your Writing Pompous?

Common Grammar Miscues that Undermine Good Writing

Do You Resist Improving Your Writing?

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by Barbara McNichol

improving your writing

If you resist the effort needed for improving your writing, here’s my suggestion: Make friends with good writing. A shift in attitude—from resisting to embracing—just might make all the difference. And here’s the payoff. When you better your writing skills, you advance your career and make a positive impression.

To meet that objective, here’s a fresh resource filled with must-have skills to jumpstart your resolve: an e-guide called—ta da—Making Friends with Good Writing.

This brand new e-guide comes with a special introductory offer. You’ll save $$ when you use the Coupon code FRIENDS at checkout. Check it out here.

“Barbara’s Making Friends with Good Writing is helpful and first class—just like she is! If you want to know when and why to use or create a style guide or enhance your writing, this e-guide provides answers with clear examples. ” – Peggy Henrikson, editor

Do you know the definition of a chiasmus? It’s a phrase that mirrors itself. 

Making Friends with Good Writing offers a compilation of chiasmi that are fun. After reading this e-guide, a reader sent this chiasmus by Garrison Keillor: “When it comes to finding available men in Minnesota, the odds are good, but the goods are odd.” She had a fun response, too. “I don’t take his message seriously, though. Thankfully I found a good man!”

Can you create your own chiasmus? Please write it here! 

Poor Writing Means Your Credibility Is at Stake!

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by Barbara McNichol

The clarity of your writing reflects your credibility and reputation in the eyes of your readers. How can you craft your messages to be as effective as possible?

You’ll make a difference by applying these five techniques today.

  1. Make your opening sentence compelling.

It starts with knowing your reader—a boss, a coworker, a buyer of your nonfiction book. A rambling introduction will lose them; stick to addressing their needs and interests.

  1. Think through your message thoroughly before writing the first word.

Start by completing an outline that details answers to these questions: Who, What, Why, When, Where, and How. This will help you think through all aspects of your message and make it easier and faster to write. You’ve already done the hard work!

  1. Use “you” in your messages to make them more personal.

Successful salespeople use “you” more than “I” and so should you. Scan your message for variations of the word “I” before sending or publishing it. Rework every “I,” “my,” “our,” “me” to emphasize “you,” “your,” and “you’re.”

Instead of: “When I create my schedule, I set up time with myself.” Write: “When you create your schedule, you set up time with yourself.”

  1. Don’t make your reader work hard to understand your message.

That means eliminating run-on sentences, overwritten paragraphs, and passive sentence construction. How can you test this? Remove certain words and see it your sentence still works. Experiment. You’ll likely find fewer words gets the job done better!

Instead of: “If you have co-workers who are well-organized, their productivity levels can go through the roof when they work remotely.” Write: “Well-organized co-workers are more productive working remotely.” (See how you’ve turned a 19-word sentence into an 8-word sentence without changing the meaning?)

  1. Write correctly so readers don’t trip up on your intended meaning.

How often do you see or hear words used incorrectly? A lot! Your reputation suffers if you don’t get them right.

For example: “Everyday” means common or normal while “every day” means today, tomorrow, next day, etc. Or “stationary” (something that stands still) versus “stationery” (something you write on). I call these Word Trippers because they keep tripping us up! (Want a quick reference to help you be correct every time? Go to www.wordtrippers.com or www.barbaramcnichol.com/word-trippers)

Find ways to write better; your credibility is at stake.

5 Writing Questions to Ask Before Saying “I’m Done”

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by Barbara McNichol

ask writing questionsSuppose you’re composing a sensitive email, article, or letter—one that’s extremely important in your world. But the message must be as clear and concise as possible.

Ask these five writing questions and follow the examples. From there, make changes that will immediately improve your prose and ensure you’ve written what you meant to write.

  1. Have you put in filler words that don’t add meaning to your sentence? E.g., Starting a sentence with “there are” or “here is” or a variation. “Here are excellent points to consider” becomes “Consider these points.” More direct!
  2. Can you spot and eliminate extraneous phrases? Omit “the fact of the matter is…” or “it’s important to remember that…” or “it’s all about…” Like filler words, they take up space without adding meaning.
  3. Where can you use noun modifiers to be more concise? E.g., “Tips on writing” becomes “Writing tips” and “Details regarding the conference” becomes “conference details.”
  4. How can you streamline sentences without changing the meaning? Look for “who” and “which” phrases. E.g., “Dee, who is our new manager, just had surgery” becomes “Our new manager, Dee, just had surgery.” “Our report, which we finished, is on your desk” becomes “We put our finished report on your desk.” Bonus: It uses an active verb.
  5. How can you use commas sparingly but also when needed to clarify the meaning of your sentences? E.g., “You can overlook punctuation rules and people will have trouble reading your writing and your ideas will get lost.” Without a comma after rules, this can be misread to say: “You can overlook punctuation rules and people…” That’s why you need the comma after rules. Even clearer would be: “If you overlook punctuation rules, people will have trouble reading your words, and your ideas will get lost.”

What writing questions would you add to these five that would help hone your writing to perfection before saying, “I’m done”? Note them in the comments section.

“If I Were (Was) a Rich Man …”

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by Barbara McNichol

The play Fiddler on the Roof recently came through my city, and my friend kept singing her dad’s favorite song from that hit: “If I Were a Rich Man.” My comment? “I’m glad the lyricist got the grammar right!”

Why is the use of “were” (not “was”) correct in this song title and similar phrases? Consider the conditional meaning associated with using an “if” clause. In this case, the lyrics “if I were a rich man” reflect a wishful condition, not a true statement.

You may recall how Tevye, the character in Fiddler on the Roof who sang this song, lamented his lowly position as a milkman and wondered what wealth would bring to his life.

If at one time he had been rich, he could factually say, “When I was a rich man.” But in the context of Fiddler on the Roof, he could only hope to be rich.

What about the song “If I Were a Carpenter”? Here, the lyricist correctly uses “were” to depict a hope or dream, not a current fact.

When It’s Correct to Use “Was”

So when would you use “was” (not “were”) in an “if” clause? When it introduces an indirect question or statement of fact. Examples:

  • The boss asked if I was (not “were”) finished with the report. This factual statement is based on what’s true or possible, not something hypothetical.
  • If he was (not “were”) guilty, he would have remained silent. This states a fact that’s likely true, not something conditional.

In the statements you write, remember to use “were” when the situation calls for being conditional, hypothetical, or wishful. And like Tevye, that’s how you can make a plea for the wealth you wish for!

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Why Care About Your Writing Voice and How Can You Improve It?

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By Barbara McNichol

Why care about your writing voice?

 

I agonize over how to help authors, business professionals, and WordShop students use their writing voice in interesting, meaningful ways.

Good writing requires more than just grammar and spelling. It’s style, catching someone’s attention, and making readers understand the conviction behind the words.

In my experience, one writing technique stands above all others…it adds power and memorability, and it makes writing good reading. Read on!

short verbs

Pop Quiz

You’ve likely heard that people prefer the active voice over the passive. But do you know why?

 

Answer

Writing in the active writing voice is powerful and dynamic. It catches and holds the reader’s attention far better than passive statements. The passive writing voice is a little “weasley.” It hides responsibility for action, and it can be ambiguous, confusing, and boring.

Furthermore,

  • The active voice conveys ideas quickly and directly.
  • The active voice clearly spells out the action and who is doing it.
  • The active voice frequently requires fewer words than passive sentences—helpful when space is limited.

Which is Which?

In a sentence written in the active voice, the subject of the sentence performs the action. In a sentence written in the passive voice, the subject receives the action.

Examples:

  • Active – I created Word Trippers Tips ADVANTAGE Program and I guarantee it will make you a better writer.
  • Passive – The Word Trippers Tips ADVANTAGE Program was created to make you a better writer.

It’s True. My Word Trippers Tips ADVANTAGE Program will absolutely make you a better writer.

You’ll find nothing else like this program. It’s easy. Fun. And available for less than the price of a new outfit. (And think how many new outfits you can buy with a higher-paying job because you wrote a powerful résumé and cover letter.)

Not a book … not a course … this program takes almost no time every week to absorb.

LEARN MORE HERE.

Chiasmus: When Words Mirror Each Other in a Sentence

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by Barbara McNichol

Using figures of speech in our writing make it fun. Truly my favorite figure of speech is the chiasmus­ (ky-AZ-mus). That’s when words in a sentence mirror each other.

Politicians have made them famous (e.g., Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country. – John F. Kennedy). Experts have made them accessible and even fun (e.g., Dr. Mardy Grothe’s book: Never Let a Fool Kiss You or a Kiss Fool You: Chiasmus and a World of Quotations That Say What They Mean and Mean What They Say)

My contribution to the joy of words is a 4-page Chiasmus Collection I’d like to share. Simply email me with Chiasmus Collection in the subject line.

The ones I’ve included come from years of gleaning them from authors, clients, and subscribers in my daily editing work.

A few choice examples:

It is not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old; they grow old because they stop pursuing dreams. – Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Write only what you love, and love what you write. – Ray Bradbury

New York is the perfect model of a city, not the model of a perfect city. – Sir Lewis Mumford

What is your favorite chiasmus? Share it here!

Request my 4-page Chiasmus Collection.

 

You’re Told to Fix and Polish This Message–But How?

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By Barbara McNichol

Suppose your supervisor emails you a message that says, “Fix the attached” or “Polish this piece.” But exactly what does it mean to fix and polish? In addition to correcting punctuation, typos, misspellings, and grammar glitches, what’s required beyond that?

First, find out what your supervisor thinks it needs. Where does it fall short? What’s missing? Whether or not you receive an answer, go through the following key questions yourself:

  1. Why is this piece needed? What’s its intended purpose? Because readers are busy, you must immediately make clear what this message is about. A specific title or subject line goes a long way. For example, instead of writing “For New Customers” you might write, “5 Ways to Communicate with New Customers.”
  2. What should the reader do, think, believe, or remember as a result of this piece? Does the communication specify what you want readers to do and by when? How easy is it for them to first understand the instruction and then take action? For example, if it’s a letter to a credit card company about a dispute, make it clear what you want, e.g., future credit or a refund. Then state when you want a resolution, e.g., “before the next payment cycle on June 23rd.” Put this call to action near the top!
  3. How long should your sentences and paragraphs be? Ensure your message comes across in short, easy-to-read sentences. My rule of thumb is not more than 21 words in one sentence or 3-4 sentences in one paragraph. Why? It’s hard for anyone to track your meaning when sentences ramble, especially when they’re part of long paragraphs. People scan more than they read; they can take in short sentences and paragraphs more quickly than long-winded ones. Don’t make it seem like hard work!
  4. How can you use polite, positive language to persuade others?Remember, a positive outcome should be the goal of every communication. Your objective may be to retain a customer, win a contract, build a relationship, gain approval, or advance a project. Always spell out benefits: e.g., resolution, improvements, increased profit, etc. And be polite by using words such as welcome, thank you, please, appreciate, happy to, and value your input. If your piece doesn’t include positive language, then why send it at all?

When it’s up to you to fix and polish that important message, use these questions as your checklist every time.

  1. Why is this piece needed? What’s its intended purpose?
  2. What should the reader do, think, believe, or remember as a result of this piece?
  3. How long should your sentences and paragraphs be?
  4. How can you use polite, positive language to persuade others?

What essential fix and polish elements would you add to these?

The Incredible Power of 3

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by Les Taylor (used with permission)

power of 3Editor’s note: In my writing WordShops, I emphasize tapping into the power of 3. My colleague Les Taylor explains the research behind that power.

A few years ago I started looking into Minimalism. I have always been attracted to doing more with less – getting more with less – and just simplifying in general. It’s a pursuit of mine that continues today.

Along the way I looked into simplifying as a business model – especially as it relates to performance improvement and professional development. If you’ve read my book Stop Walking in Circles: Get Out of the Wilderness of the Status Quo, you’re familiar with my three-step process for creating an Outperformers Action Plan.

I’ve proven to myself and others the value of the long-standing theory of the “Power of Three.” This theory was espoused two hundred years ago by Thomas Jefferson (life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness) and has continued to be a formula for success to this day.

Steve Jobs was a true believer in the power of three. He used this model in every one of his famous product launch events. In 2010, Jobs introduced the first iPad as a “third device” between a smartphone and a laptop. The iPad, he told the audience, would also come in “three models”: 16, 32, and 64 GB of flash storage. In 2011, Jobs introduced the iPad 2 as “thinner, lighter, and faster” than the original.

Who Cares?

So, what does the power of three have to do with you and why should you care about this phenomenal model? Research, going back to the mid-1950s at Bell Labs, has proven that limiting the number of things to remember enhances retention. This research resulted in the basic structure of phone numbers.

When someone leaves a phone number on a voice message, you’re more likely to recall the first three digits before having to listen to the message again for the remainder of the number.

I believe that limiting areas of focus to three (e.g., See Clearly – Focus Intently – Work Wisely) will greatly enhance your performance and productivity. The rule of three, like the 80/20 rule, is everywhere when you look for it. An effective presentation is divided into three parts. Looking for a new job? Give your prospective employer three reasons to hire you. Want to improve your golf game? Focus on driving, wedge play, and putting.

Spend some time this week considering how you can use the (incredible) power of three to enhance your performance, your productivity or your professional development. It will be time well spent indeed.

Les Taylor is a business owner, executive coach, award-winning author and  professional speaker. He is the founder of Outperformers International, a professional development company committed to helping individuals and organizations radically increase their “performance capacity.” He can be reached at 602-478-4209 or les@lestaylor.net

How do you tap into the power of 3 in your world? Share your comments here.

 

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