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Make Your Writing Come Alive

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by Dawn Goldberg, Write Well U (reprinted with permission from Fuel)

Writing is more than just packaging your words. Those words are the meat of your project and your message. You have to think about content and your audience and writing it well and getting your readers’ attention and keeping your readers’ attention and…. The list goes on and doesn’t ever seem to stop.

If you write well, then your writing will accomplish all those goals: getting your readers’ attention, keeping their attention, and meeting their needs. Now, we’re not talking about correct grammar and sentence mechanics, although that is important to writing well.

We’re talking about how to make the writing come alive, to be yours and yours alone.

  • Be creative. Whether you’re writing titles or giving examples, come up with your own ideas. It seems clever to riff off the “Got Milk?” slogan, but after a while (and sometimes a very short while), that gets old. You don’t have to worry about your writing being cliché or old when you come up with your own creative ideas.
  • Be yourself. You’re not the answer for everyone, and not everyone is going to be attracted to your stuff. However, if you write authentically, then you have a better chance of people sticking around to see what you have to say. It’s basic Law of Attraction.
  • Be original. You don’t have to do it like everyone else. You don’t have to follow all the rules. Just because you get great advice from E-zines and books on writing, it doesn’t mean you have to follow all of it. Do it your own way and stand out from the crowd. If you’re like everyone else, what would make people gravitate toward you? Give them a reason to pick you.
  • Be strong. Choose a stand and believe in it. If your writing is filled with “I think” and “I guess” and “I believe” and “it seems,” you come across as wishy-washy. Take those words out and stand firm. Say what you believe and believe what you say.
  • Be human. We all make mistakes. Don’t try to pretend you’re perfect. If you make a mistake, own up to it. Your audience wants someone to whom they can relate. If you come across as perfect, how can they relate to you? Admit your weaknesses and be authentic.
  • Be fun-filled. Enjoy what you’re writing about. Write from the heart. Be passionate. If you like humor, be funny. If you like word play, add a few puns. If you’re thrilled with what you’re doing, let that joy come out in your writing.

The point is to throw yourself into your writing. It can be scary, yes, but you’re more likely to grab your readers and have them follow you rather than get a lukewarm or so-so response. Take risks. Be yourself. Let your words be powerful.

Which “Writing Well” tips do you find most helpful? Share your thoughts here.

George Orwell’s Writing Rules

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by Barbara McNichol

According to Writer’s Almanac, in 1946, George Orwell (famed author of Animal Farm and Nineteen Eighty-Four) wrote an essay called “Politics and the English Language.” In it, he included five rules for effective written communication.

I share these five rules here with my own commentary in red. For the life of me, though, I can’t figure out what the fifth one means. What’s your best guess? 

Please share your interpretation of what (v) means in the comment box below. Yes, it can be outrageous!

Orwell’s Five Rules for Effective Written Communication

(i) Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech that you are used to seeing in print. I’d say – Use  original, creative figures of speech, not common (worn out) cliches that everyone knows.

(ii) Never use a long word where a short one will do. Ditto!!

(iii) If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out. I’d say – Find ways to Whack Wordiness in your writing. (See my blog posts on how to do that.) /wp-admin/post.php?post=250&action=edit

(iv) Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent. Agreed (most of the time)! One of my criteria in creating Word Trippers is selecting everyday words, not obscure ones.

(v) Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous. Help! Need a translator for this one!

What would you add to Orwell’s list?

Nonfiction Authors: Think Like an Editor

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Barbara McNichol

Writers take their observations of the world, draw a few conclusions, and translate them into messages on paper (or computer screens). When you write something to market your products or services, you don a writer’s hat to express your message in words. But don’t stop there. You then need to put on your editor’s glasses and focus on fine-tuning those words to make sure they communicate with your intended audience. That requires you to read your piece as if you have never seen it before and think like an editor.

A skilled editor examines every phrase and asks:

  • Is it NECESSARY?
  • Is it CLEAR?
  • Is it CONCISE?

When you review your own writing, you likely won’t answer “yes” to all these questions. So take off your writer’s hat and look through your editor’s glasses, then make changes based on these five common writing problems.

1. Use the active voice. (WHO does WHAT to WHOM.)

Passive: It was decided that everyone would take the class.
Active: The principal decided everyone would take the class.

2. Make subjects and verbs agree. (No mixing singular and plural.)
Incorrect:  A group of writers were in town. (“Group” is singular while “were” is plural.)
Correct: A group of writers was in town. (“Group” is the subject here, not “writers.”)

3. Use parallel construction. (Give your writing rhythm.)
Weak: We’ve learned to read, write, and we’re making sure information is shared.
Stronger: We’ve learned to read, write, and share information.

4. Make the subject obvious. (Don’t let your participles dangle!)
Yucky: Driving down the highway, the new stadium came into view. (Who was driving down the highway? The stadium?)

Better: We could see the progress on the new stadium as we drove by it on the highway.

5. Use specific, vivid verbs and nouns. (Don’t overuse adverbs and adjectives.)

Dull: I saw some really pretty yellow daffodils.

Interesting: I reveled in a riot of daffodils.

When you wear your editor’s glasses, make sure every word counts. What are your favorite writing/editing tips that will enhance someone’s writing? Please share them here.

 

Game for the World is Making a Difference

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by Barbara McNichol

Rarely do I step off my soapbox about writing well to divert your focus to a worthy cause. Today, I couldn’t resist.

My wonderful colleague Anne Harman has clearly demonstrated how what she’s written and created–Game for the World–can make a difference in educating people about AIDS and HIV.

With the help of sponsors, she recently produced a video that explains the Game’s accomplishments–all while showing how this simple educational tool deserves attention around the world.

Please watch this video and share your ideas on spreading the word about Game for the World. Specifically, she’s looking for corporate sponsorship and celebrity endorsements. I’ll pass them along to Anne!

Feel free to spread this link far and wide: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCj74TiAfeo

AIDS prevention and education

Banner from Game for the World website www.gamefortheworld.com

In-Your-Face Grammar Glitches You Can’t Ignore

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By Barbara McNichol

My attention was recently drawn to an article in Ragan Report (great resource for communicators) that puts the “Top 25 Grammar and Language Mistakes” in your face. Some, in fact, are Word Trippers that I include in my ebook.

This handful of grammar glitches stood out for me. I’m eager to point them out because they’re extremely important to good writing. I encourage you to take them to heart.

  • Using “could of,” “would of,” “should of.” These are all 100 percent wrong, born of our sloppy speaking styles—could’ve, would’ve, should’ve. What you want to write is could have, would have, should have. We all coulda, woulda, shoulda become better at grammar.
  • Using “me and somebody.” I tell my children that it’s common courtesy to put the other person first. Thus you should always say, “Fred and I went to the gym together,” or “Suzie and I saw that movie.”
  • Using “that” instead of “who” (and vice versa). If you’re writing about people, always use who. If a company president says, “employees that are affected by layoffs will be greatly missed,” no one is likely to believe him because he’s treating them as objects by using the word that.
  • Using “they” when referring to a business. “Starbucks said they would give everyone a free latte today.” Although this might sound right, the correct sentence is: “Starbucks said it would give everyone a free latte today.” And if that grates on your ears, then rewrite the sentence to avoid the problem: “Starbucks is offering everyone a free latte today.”

Want to peruse the whole article so you can learn from all 25 mistakes? Here’s the link.

Please share other grammar glitches that might trip you in the comments section below.

Get Your Story Straight from Page and Stage – Workshop

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by Barbara McNichol

In today’s competitive arena, entrepreneurs and leaders of organizations can’t rely on only conveying facts and figures to call people to action.

People need to feel moved to act. They have to get the message deep in their bones why you or your organization merits investing precious resources.

Giving a strong emotional appeal strengthens your chances to rise above the crowd. This is true whether you’re speaking to a single person or a roomful, whether you’re writing website copy, press releases, articles, or pitch letters.

But how can you do it effectively?

I offer a half-day workshop with professional speaker Andrea Beaulieu. Titled “Get Your Story Straight: Tell Your Story Powerfully on the Stage and on the Page,” this programshows you how to tell your story with skill, persuasiveness, and confidence.

Participants explore ways to personalize their story to share from the heart—both on the stage and on the page. They learn to honea fresh new way to tell their stories with persuasion and ultimately improve their results.

  • Clarify, organize, and refine your message with a specific focus.
  • Balance factual content with the drama of storytelling.
  • Learn editing tricks to adapt the story told on stage for the page.
  • Ensure your written story retains its effectiveness.
  • Inject emotional connections and theatrical techniques into your stories to engage audiences .
  • Leverage what you’ve created for multiple uses: website, email, articles, marketing materials, and more.

This “on the Stage/on the Page” program is offered to organizations and individual participants on request. Contact me with your questions.

Summary of Content

1. Story Development for the Stage and the Page

  • Determine the main point and key messages of the selected story.
  • Identify a key situation, experience, or person on which to base the story.
  • Determine an open and close for presenting the story, including techniques to capture the audience’s attention and set up a call to action.
  • Set the scene with descriptions/information and develop the characters while identifying who the organization helps.
  • Define a key obstacle the organization faces based on the situation, experience, or person: what the problem is, how it meets that problem, why that’s important.
  • Resolve the storyline and make a clear point that moves members of the audience.

2. Presentation Skills

  • Model how an organization’s story can be told effectively.
  • Work with the participants to identify and refine their natural speaking styles.
  • Provide specific, individual coaching on how to “live” the story, not just tell it, through emotional and theatrical/speaking techniques.

3. Writing Skills

  • Take the story prepared for the stage and brainstorm where it needs to be told in print—website copy, fundraising letter, article, and so on.
  • Select one of these formats and begin crafting a piece.
  • Share written pieces and get feedback in the round table.

This “on the stage/on the page” program is offered to organizations and individual participants on request. Contact me with your questions. 

“On the Stage / On the Page” Experts

Andrea Beaulieu: Andrea is a certified coach, author, and award-winning consultant. As founder of Andrea Beaulieu Creates, LLC, Andrea has served dozens of clients in several industries, and worked as the contracted executive director for two nonprofit organizations, and the interim executive director for two others. She is a professional speaker and has been a performing artist for more than 30 years, acting in numerous productions and singing before millions. She traveled with the international organization, Up With People, singing and dancing at the Super Bowl X halftime show, the Indianapolis 500, and Bob Hope’s Birthday Party. She is currently represented by Dani’s Talent Agency in Phoenix. She is the author of Ah Ha! 100 Flashes of Insight and Inspiration from Your Authentic Voice and Finding Your Authentic Voice: Seven Practices to Free the Real You and Experience Love, Happiness and Fulfillment. She created the Your Authentic Voice® Intuition and Creativity System, which is at the heart of these books.

Barbara McNichol: Barbara brings three decades of writing and editing experience to helping professionals add power to their pen. Before founding Barbara McNichol Editorial in 1996, she worked in both corporate and small business environments. Today, she specializes in editing marketing materials and nonfiction manuscripts, including Andrea’s book, Finding Your Authentic Voice: Seven Practices to Free the Real You and Experience Love, Happiness and Fulfillment. Barbara has worked first-hand with Andrea as her presentation coach.

This “on the Stage/on the Page” program is offered to organizations and individual participants on request. Contact me with your questions. 

Whack Wordiness: Keep Your Writing Motor Running

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by Barbara McNichol
 

“Writings are useless unless they are read, and they cannot be read unless they are readable.” – Theodore Roosevelt

After encouraging writers to quit rambling when crafting their paragraphs and chapters, I want to make sure you don’t stall out.

What techniques can keep your motor running smoothly? Take these four tips to heart.

1. One Thought, One Sentence

2. Steer on the Sunny Side

3. Build Bridges to Guide Your Reader

4. Place Strongest Words at End

1. One Thought, One Sentence

Unless you’re a novelist whose style calls for long, descriptive sentences, in the nonfiction world, it’s best to express one thought in one sentence and end it. Spend another sentence on the next thought, and so on. Keep your prose moving forward with short, succinct sentences.

2. Steer on the Sunny Side

It’s hard for readers to track what’s being written when it’s stated in a negative way. And most of the time, negative statements require a lot more words to make a point. Avoid using “no” and “not” except when you strongly want to emphasize or contrast something.

Negative: The answer does not lie with their carelessness or incompetence.

Better: The answer lies in having enough people to do the job.

Negative: We can’t incorporate all the design features without increasing the unit size.

Better: To provide all the design features, we have increased the unit size.

3. Build Bridges to Guide Your Reader

Since your goal is to whack wordiness, you may consider bridge words and phrases extraneous. Yet, the transitions from one sentence to another do keep your motor running and should be kept in high gear. Why? They create logical links that smooth the road like a well-maintained highway.

Examples of bridge words that . . .

connect two ideas of the same kind         and, plus, as well as

add another thought        besides, also, what’s more, besides, then, again,

compare or contrast ideas    but, still, however, yet, rather, likewise

 reinforce an idea             indeed, in fact, of course, by all means

show results                          as a result, consequently, thus, hence

 4. Place Strongest Words at End

Consider placing your most prominent words at the end of your sentence. Doing so provides emphasis and helps push your writing from one new idea to the next. E.g., “With your new ability to whack wordiness, you’ll drive smoothly toward your writing destination.” The main message hinges on “drive smoothly” rather than on the support statement “with your new ability . . .” It strengthens your intent.

 

Who’s This Book For, Anyway?

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by Barbara McNichol

Do you admire people who do what so many only dream of—write a definitive nonfiction book on a subject they care passionately about ?

These experts also care enough to turn their manuscripts over to an editor for improving structure, tone, clarity, word choice, and more. Yet even with all these elements smoothed out, they can undermine their whole effort if they craft their writing strictly from their own point of view.

If it’s all about you, the writer, it’s time to ask: Who’s this book for, anyway?

Writing from an “I” Point of View

Yes, it’s natural to craft stories from an “I” point of view. After all, these stories are based on your life experiences that you generously want to share. But your readers will find each story and its underlying message far more engaging if you, as its creator, take a back seat and put them in the front. Write from their point of view, not your own.

Do you habitually start paragraphs with statements like “I want you to . . . ” or “I’ve created this to . . . ” or “I have done the research and I’m telling you that . . . .”? If so, you’re dictating, not persuading—plus you risk not engaging readers in what you passionately want to say. Instead, shift into a style that puts them in the front seat. For example:

  • “I want you to understand the importance of eating well . . . ” becomes “You’ll understand the importance of eating well by . . .”
  • “I’ve created this streamlined recipe to save you time” becomes “You’ll save time using this streamlined recipe.”
  • “I have done the research and I’m telling you that . . . ” becomes “From recent research, you can see that  . . . ”

First Person Count

To determine if you’re unknowingly dictating and not persuading, take this one action: Select a chapter you’ve written and count the number of times you used first person (I, my, mine, we, our). Then count the number of times you wrote in the second person (you, your, yours).

A high percentage of “yous”–the higher the better–puts your readers in the front seat. Bydoing this, you’re more likely to engage them in the subject you feel passionate about and make writing your nonfiction book worthwhile.

(excluding examples, 17 “yous” in this post and 0 “I’s”)

Barbara McNichol edits nonfiction books in the areas of business, self-help, how to, health, and more. Contact her at editor@barbaramcnichol.com

Whack Wordiness: Eliminate Extraneous Phrases

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by Barbara McNichol

As you revise, proofread, and finalize what you’ve written, whack all the extra words you can to sharpen your message in compelling ways.

Eliminate extraneous phrases such as:

“there is” and “there will be”
e.g., There will be many candidates who are already planning to move. Better: Many candidates may be already planning to move.

“It is all about”; “the fact of the matter is”; “the fact that”
e.g., The fact of the matter is that it’s unwise to go out carousing. Better: It’s unwise to go out carousing.

“in regards to”
e.g., There may be additional sites you should seek out in regards to your industry. Better: Seek additional sites related to your industry.

“is going to”
e.g., He is going to be a key asset. Better: He will be a key asset.

“in order to”
e.g., Add key words in order to describe the new position. Better: Add key words to describe the new position.

“is intended to, meant to, designed to”
e.g., Prescreening is intended to focus on key aspects of the position. Better: Prescreening focuses on key aspects of the position.

“the reason why is that . . .” (a simple “because” will suffice)

Take out these wobbly words whenever you can:

some “We rely on some long-standing methods.”

much “Jobs posted on the internet reach a much larger audience.”

very “Get ready to do a very good job.”
quite a few “It’s been quite a few days since we spoke.” Be specific; use a number.

that “Find information that you can apply easily.”

Note: The word that doesn’t substitute for who when referring to a human being. E.g., “. . . a person that plays the piano” should be “a person who plays the piano.”

Knock out redundancies such as:

end result
add more
tally up
future plan
absolute guarantee
alongside of
ask yourself
at the present time
spell out in detail
sum total
visible to the eye

Think of these extra words as layers of onion skin before you get to the usable part. Peel them from your writing. – Diana Booher, Booher’s Rules of Business Grammar

Replace phrases with single words where appropriate:

“a great number of” with “many”
“ahead of schedule” with “early”
“during the time that” with “while”
“give consideration to” with “consider”
“in spite of the fact that” with “although”

Change nouns to verbs:
“the examination of” becomes “examine”
“reach a decision” becomes “decide”
“the transformation of” becomes “transform”
“the reorganization of” becomes “reorganize”

Revise long-winded sentences:
Chop a long sentence into two – and make sure they both sound correct!
Combine thoughts and ideas when you can.
Question every single word – especially every adverb and adjective.
Take out the ones that don’t add to the meaning.

Rout out words that are inadvertently used twice:
“Following a process for hiring, we followed his techniques.” Better: “Following a process for hiring, we adopted his techniques.”
“Hoping for warm weather, we hoped to book our vacation in the south.” Better: “Hoping for warm weather, we booked our vacation in the south.”

Let absolutes be absolute:
e.g., Ever heard someone say “his bucket is emptier (or more empty) than mine”? How can something be emptier than empty? The same holds true for all absolute words. Drop the “less” or “more” in front of these:

perfect
unique
equal
final
first
last

Get rid of tag-ons to verbs:
continue on
refer back to
grouped together
open up
cancel out
first began

Employ these tips today and you’ll see how quickly your writing improves!

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“Barbara McNichol’s teleclass Whack Wordiness was extremely valuable and brilliantly presented. Barbara has been the editor of my book, several articles and letters. I would not send out anything important without getting Barbara’s expertise and keen eye for perfection first.” – Maureen Minnehan Jones

Match Your Book Content with the Right Editor

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by Barbara McNichol

Finding the right editor for your manuscript helps you feeling confident you’ve got a good match and comfortable that your editor understands what you want to accomplish.

How do you start this match-making process? By first seeking a reputable editor who understands the type of book you have written. If your book is business or self-help, for example, choose an editor experienced in these genres who has been a pro for a decade or more. Check to see that this editor has worked with both traditional and self-published books over the years. Spending time reading that person’s website should give you clear answers and reveal a high level of professionalism (or not). You want your writing to reflect a professional image that comes from expert editing; an editor’s website is your first clue.

In your match-making search, get ready to answer the following questions an experienced editor will likely ask. Your responses help ensure this editor understands your objectives. More important, they reveal an eagerness to get to know you and set up a conversation that will give you a sense of how you’d work together.

Questions Editors May Ask in the Match-Making Process

How would you answer these questions?

  • Who is in your book’s target audience (demographics, age group, position, industry, region, etc.)?
  • What genre or market niche does your book fall in? What section would it be found in a bookstore?
  • What is your expected editorial timeline (e.g., when did you promise to give it to an agent or designer, or have it ready for a conference, etc.) allowing time for your review, peer reviews, and a professional editor’s review?
  • What is the current length of your book before editing? (number of pages and/or number of words in an MS Word document)
  • What is the anticipated total length, including front and back matter?
  • If you want to have a foreword, have you asked someone to write it and provided a deadline for delivering it?
  • How much are you expecting to spend on having your book professionally edited (excluding proofreading after the design)?
  • What else do should the editor know about your expectations so he or she can do a really good job for you?

Finally, it’s important to convey how much of your book is written. Have you finished all the content you want? Does that include both front and back matter (e.g., foreword, testimonials, acknowledgments, dedication, footnotes, resource list, glossary, appendix, etc.)?

If your book isn’t 100% complete, determine what’s missing to make it complete from a content perspective. Alternatively, your incomplete manuscript may be a candidate for a manuscript review. This “big-picture” analysis evaluates the ideas and wording already in place, then provides you with direction for making changes before the manuscript is deemed ready for “nitty-gritty” editing.

Three Steps to Selection

Once you’re clear on what you’re looking for in an editor, where do you start to find the right one for your manuscript? Consider these three steps:

  1. Ask your author, speaker, and designer friends for recommendations and anecdotes about the editors they’ve worked with.
  2. Check their recommendations and/or search for alternatives by reading the Acknowledgments in books similar to yours that are well written. Then using an Internet search, locate these editors.
  3. Contact them and request from each a sample edit of your own work (not someone else’s).

The before/after sample edit of your own work reveals how an editor can work magic on your writing without changing your voice. But be sure you like the overall result. If you don’t agree with the approach or the kinds of changes made, discuss them immediately. Chances are, you’ll come to an agreement on how to deal with any “sticky” issues. Getting agreements at the beginning of the process will save lots of time in the long run.

Reviewing Sample Edits

Here’s a rule of thumb when reviewing the sample edits you receive: If you, the writer, can clearly see an improvement based on the editor’s work—words flow better and your piece has more clarity and pizzazz—you’ve got a good match. If you think the changes are too many or too few, or if you have specific preferences, talk them through. The editor has good reasons for making the changes and is probably willing to explain why.

Remember, the final judgment belongs to readers in your target audience. Ultimately, you want your editor to be the advocate of those you want to influence. So select a pro who not only “gets” you and your book, but makes it possible for your readers to easily connect with your message.

Barbara McNichol adds power to your pen with expert editing of articles, book proposals, and non-fiction manuscripts. Request a free “Getting to the Results You Want” questionnaire via email at editor@barbaramcnichol.com or contact Barbara at 887-696-4899 (toll free).

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