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Whack Extraneous Phrases in Your Writing

March 2, 2020 by Barbara McNichol

Remove unnecessary words and improve your writing skills.

In The Elements of Style, iconic authors William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White called word clutter “the leeches that infest the pond of prose, sucking the blood out of words.”

Yes, the same E.B. White who gave us beloved children’s stories like Stuart Little, The Trumpet of the Swan and Charlotte’s Web also gave us that visceral description…

Whack wordiness

What is word clutter? Word clutter refers to unnecessary words in a sentence. Why – and how – do you eliminate them? If Strunk and White’s metaphor doesn’t make a believer out of you, then read on, because voiding word clutter in your writing will help you become a better, more effective communicator.

To clutter or not to clutter – that is the question.

When writing poetry, descriptive words are acceptable – even expected – because you’re trying to paint a picture with words. The art is in the rhyme, the imagery, the emotions you want to invoke in your audience.

But in business communication, it’s imperative that you trim the excess fat. Your readers are busy like you – they don’t need to wade through extra words to get the meaning of your message. 

No one in business wants to think of themselves as a “cog in the wheel,” but Strunk Jr. summed up the importance of brevity beautifully:

A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts.

Your business is like a piece of machinery, and efficiency matters. So, do your reader a favor: tune up your writing and whack out the extra phrases.

Unclutter.

“Word clutter” refers to unnecessary words that don’t add meaning to a sentence. When you’re writing a non-fiction book or an email, whack them out. This often means choosing an active, rather than the passive verb.

Take time to fine-tune your message by whacking these phrases: 

  • “is intended to” or “is meant to” or “is designed to”

Example: “He gives a workshop that is designed to teach writing skills.”

Fine-tune it: “He gives a workshop that teaches writing skills.”

  • “it is all about” or “the fact of the matter is” or “it’s important to remember that”

Example: “It’s important to remember that it’s unwise to drive during a blizzard.”

Fine-tune it:  “It’s unwise to drive during a blizzard.”

  • “is going to”

Example: “She is going to be a key contributor.”

Fine-tune it: “She will be a key contributor.”

  • “In order to…”

Example: “Add keywords in order to describe the new position.”

Fine-tune it: “Add keywords to describe the new position.”

  • “there is” or “there will be”

Example: “There will be several managers attending the meeting.”

Fine-tune it: “Several managers will attend the meeting.”

  • “The reason why is that”

Example: “The meeting has been moved to the 2nd-floor conference room. The reason why is that we need more seating capacity.”

Fine-tune it: “The meeting was moved to the 2nd-floor conference room because we need more seating capacity.”

  • “at this time”

Example: “We’re not accepting any more registrations for the conference at this time.”

Fine-tune it: We’re not accepting registrations for the conference now.”

Never forget: more words don’t necessarily give more meaning, especially in business communication. Your time is valuable. Show respect to your colleagues by trimming your emails, memos and reports – whack wordiness! You’ll be doing your colleagues a favor.

Now, do yourself a favor: get a red pen and take time to read over a recent email or letter you wrote. Ask, “Did I really need that word/phrase?” Circle all the unnecessary words. Then think about the time you could have saved yourself and your reader if you’d left them out! A little investment in time at the beginning of your writing project will save you and your readers time in the long run.

Do you have any “pet peeves” when it comes to word clutter? I’d love to know about them. If you’d like more helpful tips, you can sign up for Word Trippers Tips  or book a WordShop for your whole team to strengthen your business writing skills.

Did you find this article helpful? Then you might enjoy these:

Is Your Writing Pompous?

Poor Writing Means Your Credibility Is at Stake!

Mixing Singular with Plural: Keep the Old Rules with Some New Tricks

This article was originally published on March 26th, 2015, and has since been updated.

Filed Under: Writing Tips Tagged With: #business book editing, concise writing, extraneous phrases, improve writing, nonfiction book editor, Whack Wordiness

5 Writing Questions to Ask Before Saying “I’m Done”

July 22, 2019 by Barbara McNichol Leave a Comment

by Barbara McNichol

ask writing questionsSuppose you’re composing a sensitive email, article, or letter—one that’s extremely important in your world. But the message must be as clear and concise as possible.

Ask these five writing questions and follow the examples. From there, make changes that will immediately improve your prose and ensure you’ve written what you meant to write.

  1. Have you put in filler words that don’t add meaning to your sentence? E.g., Starting a sentence with “there are” or “here is” or a variation. “Here are excellent points to consider” becomes “Consider these points.” More direct!
  2. Can you spot and eliminate extraneous phrases? Omit “the fact of the matter is…” or “it’s important to remember that…” or “it’s all about…” Like filler words, they take up space without adding meaning.
  3. Where can you use noun modifiers to be more concise? E.g., “Tips on writing” becomes “Writing tips” and “Details regarding the conference” becomes “conference details.”
  4. How can you streamline sentences without changing the meaning? Look for “who” and “which” phrases. E.g., “Dee, who is our new manager, just had surgery” becomes “Our new manager, Dee, just had surgery.” “Our report, which we finished, is on your desk” becomes “We put our finished report on your desk.” Bonus: It uses an active verb.
  5. How can you use commas sparingly but also when needed to clarify the meaning of your sentences? E.g., “You can overlook punctuation rules and people will have trouble reading your writing and your ideas will get lost.” Without a comma after rules, this can be misread to say: “You can overlook punctuation rules and people…” That’s why you need the comma after rules. Even clearer would be: “If you overlook punctuation rules, people will have trouble reading your words, and your ideas will get lost.”

What writing questions would you add to these five that would help hone your writing to perfection before saying, “I’m done”? Note them in the comments section.

Filed Under: Writing Tips Tagged With: #betterwriting #businesswriting, better writer, company writing, extraneous writing, filler words, How to become a better writer, nonfiction book editor, streamline writing, use commas, Whack Wordiness, writing questions, writing workshop

How (and Why) to Work with an Editor

July 1, 2018 by Barbara McNichol Leave a Comment

Barbara McNichol from June 2018 issue of Speaker Magazine

work with an editorAs a professional, you send your ideas into the world in writing—via books, blogs, articles, and more. In today’s crowded marketplace, the more you write, the more every word counts.

Who can help you break through the clutter? Editors: your conduit to communicating to those you want to influence. For if an experienced editor doesn’t “get” your message, neither will they. And because the written word sticks around longer than the spoken word, it matters!

Why You Need an Editor

It’s tempting to regard hiring editors as an unnecessary expense. Instead, see it as an investment in effectiveness. Here’s why:

  1. You grow as a writer. Pay attention to editors’ changes and learn the tricks of the editing trade. That includes getting assurance that your piece meets your objective.
  2. You improve your book’s marketing power. A good editor can wordsmith titles, headings and subheads as well as incorporate keywords to hook readers during online searches.
  3. You gain insight and save embarrassment. Your writing benefits from an editor’s initial “deep massage” that asks insightful questions and makes suggestions to hone your message. It’s followed by a tight copyedit to find those pesky grammar gremlins and wording errors before readers do. After you make changes, your editor reviews everything, does a final proofread, and keeps your project moving.

Then at the end of the process, you can declare with confidence, “My writing sounds just like me—only better!” (As an editor, that’s what I desire for my clients.)

Choosing an Editor

For books, the magic of selecting the right editor lies in the Sample Edit—a complimentary edit of your work from your manuscript. Sure, you get value from seeing Before and After of someone else’s project, but don’t skip this step. Request samples from all contenders. That’s how you come close to comparing apples to apples.

I call the Sample Edit “magic” because you get to see:

  • the level of editing required
  • how clearly your message can be expressed
  • if the edits changed your voice—a huge concern for authors.

And it does something else: The Sample Edit helps determine your project’s place on the editing spectrum. Does it require proofreading, copyediting, or a complete rewrite? Along with word count, that determines an editor’s customized fee, communicated in writing up front.

In your selection process, be sure to examine prospective editors’ credentials. Study their websites and peruse their portfolios. Testimonials are great, but also ask for references so you can pose questions to their clients related to your needs.

In short, don’t miss the opportunity to deliver your best writing. After all, it’s you, your voice, your contribution to the world. Make sure your message comes across clear and strong. It’s that important!

Tricks of the Editing Trade

  • Enliven your text by using active (not passive) construction:
  • Active: “The boy chomped into the juicy watermelon.” The verb “chomped” is active.
  • Passive: “The juicy watermelon was eaten by the boy.” The word “by” is a clue that it’s passive.
  • Keep it simple:
  • One idea per sentence
  • One distinct point per paragraph
  • No more than 21 words in a sentence.
  • Whack wordiness:
  • “I really think it’s time to go.” (“It’s time to go.”)
  • “Due to the fact that” (“Because…”)
  • “There are m[M]any experts that believe in magic.”

Word Alert: The word “that” doesn’t substitute for “who” when referring to a person. You’d refer to someone who speaks, not someone that speaks.

  • Use the correct word to say what you mean. Even from excellent writers, editors often encounter misused words: browse vs. peruse, compliment vs. complement, advice vs. advise.

As an expert editor, Barbara McNichol proudly helps speakers/authors change the world with their well-crafted words. Over 24 years, Barbara has placed more than 350 books (and counting) on her editor’s “trophy shelf.” She is also the creator of Word Trippers Tips, a resource for better writing available at www.WordTrippers.com.

Filed Under: Editors and Authors Tagged With: editors' credentials, expert editor, find editor, misused words, nonfiction editing, professional book editing, professional business book editor, Whack Wordiness, word clutter, work with editor

Change Long Nouns to Short Verbs to Whack Wordiness

April 2, 2017 by Barbara McNichol Leave a Comment

short verbsby Barbara McNichol

Ever wonder how to make your sentences less verbose and more direct?

Here’s a trick that works like magic: Change long nouns to short verbs.

Consider the differences in these three examples from a nonfiction manuscript I edited:

  • “They remain in contradiction with themselves” vs. “They contradict themselves.”
  • “He made an acknowledgment of her success” vs. “He acknowledged her success.”
  • “We get closer to the implementation of leadership practices” vs. “We get closer to implementing leadership practices.”

Study these examples. They show how you can increase readability by turning a long-winded “heavy” phrase into an active “lively” verb. What clues do you look for? Nouns ending in “ion” and “ment.”

Whatever I’m editing, I’m using this “magic” trick dozens of times a day. What a difference this one technique can make! Try it for yourself.

Action: Identify “ion” and “ment” words in your writing, then rewrite them using a lively verb.

What techniques do you use to whack wordiness? Share them here.

Filed Under: Book Writing, Business Writing Tagged With: improve writing, less verbose writing, nonfiction book editor, professional business book editing, Whack Wordiness, Writing Tips

How to Get Rid of Tag-ons and Redundancies

May 25, 2016 by Barbara McNichol Leave a Comment

by Barbara McNichol

Let’s say you have to fill out a form online and you’re restricted to 100 words. You absolutely cannot add one more word. So you work it the best you can, but what can you search for in your quest to meet that magic number of words and whack wordiness at the same time?

redundant wordsTag-ons and redundancies (superfluous repetition or overlapping, especially of words).

A few examples of tag-ons:

  • continue on
  • ramble on
  • refer back to
  • open up
  • cancel out
  • follow on
  • send out
  • start out
  • finish up

Common redundancies:

  • grouped together
  • add more
  • still persist
  • continue to remain
  • plan ahead
  • sum total (choose one)

With many redundancies (such as sum total), you’d use one or the other depending on the context, but not both.

Your challenge: Question every phrase you think may be redundant and test each of the words separately. Which works better in context?

Clutter is the disease of American writing. We are a society strangling in unnecessary words, circular constructions, pompous frills and meaningless jargon. – William Zinsser

For a reference list of redundant phrases, send an email request with Redundancies in the subject line.

What redundant phrases would you add? List them here.

Filed Under: Writing Tips Tagged With: better writing, business book editor, eliminate clutter, nonfiction book editing, redundancies, tag-ons, Whack Wordiness, Writing Tips

Readability Tip: Turn Long Noun Phrases into Short Lively Verbs

April 26, 2016 by Barbara McNichol Leave a Comment

by Barbara McNichol Writing tips

A tenet of readability and good writing is to “whack wordiness” wherever possible. One way involves replacing long noun phrases with short verbs. Consider these examples:

  • They remain in contradiction with themselves vs. They contradict themselves.
  • He made an acknowledgment of her success vs. He acknowledged her success.
  • We get closer to the implementation of actual leadership practice vs. We get closer to implementing actual leadership practice.

As you can see, you can whack wordiness by turning a long-winded “heavy” phrase into an active “lively” verb.

What clues do you look for? Start with flagging nouns ending in “ion” and “ment.”

When editing manuscripts, I make changes such as these dozens of times a day. What a difference this one technique makes! Try it for yourself.

Your challenge: Use this technique and send me examples.

See also: 5 Tips to Improve the Readability of Your Writing

Upcoming WordShops — More Ways to Boost Readability

Note: You’ll learn dozens of editor’s techniques by attending a business writing WordShop this May or June. You’ll come away with:

  • Ability to write persuasively with fewer words (“whack wordiness”)
  • Increased productivity and clarity in your writing
  • Improved correspondence with clients and friends.

Friday, May 6, 2016, at Tucson College in Tucson, AZ. Full details here.

Thursday, June 16, 2016, at DeVry University in Westminster, CO (hosted by Avante Leadership Group) Sign up here.

Share other ways you like to whack wordiness here.

Filed Under: Writing Tips Tagged With: Avante Leadership Group, clarity in writing, essential business writing, improve writing, nonfiction business book editing, professional editing services, readability tip, Whack Wordiness, WordShops, writing workshops

Key Skills for a High-quality Nonfiction Editor and Writer

November 15, 2015 by Barbara McNichol Leave a Comment

by Barbara McNichol

Students taking a professional editing course at Kennesaw State University recently contacted me and asked the question below. As I responded to them, I thought both wnonfiction editingriters and editors would find this list helpful.

What are the most important skills someone needs to be a high-quality nonfiction editor?

These essential skills come to mind:

  • Patience to concentrate on one tedious project for countless hours (ADD people rarely do well with this)
  • Knowledge of English language and grammar rules – sounds basic but the basics are often missing among writers (that’s why we have editors)
  • Curiosity to question accuracy of word use and willingness look up answers (e.g., dictionary.com, my Word Trippers)
  • A proven process to ensure projects are handled thoroughly (in my case, 3 reviews of every manuscript)
  • Focus on what might be missing from the piece in terms of logic, examples, clarifications
  • Ability to whack wordiness (e.g., tighten the writing, get rid of extraneous words, finding redundancies, keep sentences short, etc.) If writers did this in their own reviews, the editor would focus on value-added aspects such as flow and creativity.
  • Respectful, explanatory tone rather than demanding tone (e.g., beware of using “must” and “should”)
  • Power of using active voice rather than passive voice – rewrite where practical
  • Sense of orderliness and flow so there’s a logical thread running through the piece
  • Smooth transitions between paragraphs
  • Use of figures of speech, metaphors, similes, etc.
  • High level of skill in Word, including formatting and setting up automated Table of Contents

The bonus? Authors who revise their own writing using these skills can save time and money in the editing process before ever getting an editor involved.

What is your experience editing your own writing? What techniques work best for you?

Filed Under: Editors and Authors Tagged With: active voice passive voice, igures of speech, Kennesaw State University, metaphors, nonfiction editor, nonfiction writer, professional business book editor, professional editing course, similes, Whack Wordiness, Word Trippers

Book Editing: What Critical Steps Come After the Writing?

June 2, 2015 by Barbara McNichol Leave a Comment

Bring Your Questions

Ask Your Questions

Editor’s note: Here’s the recording for this June 10th webinar.

Is it time to take the development of your business book to the next level? In this free webinar featuring Barbara McNichol, you’ll boost your awareness of both the book editing and writing process as you learn to:

  • Use a Planner to improve communication with your editor
  • Whack Wordiness—the most practical technique you’ll ever learn
  • Apply 10 Top Techniques to improve everything you write

Critical Elements for Book Editing

This webinar, hosted by Cathy Fyock, provides a detailed way to spell out the critical elements of your book—at any stage in your manuscript-writing process—so you can communicate clearly with the book editing pro you choose.

Barbara offers expert editing of articles and nonfiction books in the categories of business, spirituality, self-help, how-to, health, relationships, and more. Over the past 20 years, she has placed more than 300 books on her editing “trophy shelf.”

Here’s the recording for this June 10th webinar.

Thanks for listening. Feel free to ask questions here or contact Barbara McNichol at editor@BarbaraMcNichol.com.

You can download the Planner from the Editing Services page at www.BarbaraMcNichol.com

 

 

Filed Under: Book Writing Tagged With: #business book editing, Barbara McNichol, Cathy Fyock, manuscript writing, professional book editing, Whack Wordiness, writing and editing webinar

Whacking Wordiness: Delete Wobbly Words

February 24, 2014 by Barbara McNichol Leave a Comment

by Barbara McNichol
4-13 Barbara 6

It’s time to whack those wobby words!

What do I mean by wobbly words?

Well, words that are vague, indefinite, and don’t add much. In fact, they can clutter your sentences and take away from the clarity you’re striving to create.

Here are five examples of wobbly words. Whack them from your writing whenever you can:

  • really      “I really think it’s time to go.” (extraneous)
  • some       “We rely on some long-standing methods.” (be specific and say a number)
  • very          “Get ready to do a very good job.” (overused; be more descriptive!)
  • that          “Find information that you can apply easily.” (unneeded 9 times out of 10)
  • much       “Jobs posted on the Internet reach a much larger audience than those in newspaper ads.” (doesn’t add value)

In their classic guide The Elements of Style, Strunk and White call word clutter “the leeches that infest the pond of prose, sucking the blood out of words.” Amen!

(Featured in my Wordshop STRENGTHENING Everything You Write. Details about the upcoming session in Tucson here.)

Filed Under: Business Writing, Writing Workshops Tagged With: nonfiction book editor, Strunk and White, The Elements of Style, Whack Wordiness, Writing Wordshop Tucson

George Orwell’s Writing Rules

June 26, 2011 by Barbara McNichol Leave a Comment

by Barbara McNichol

According to Writer’s Almanac, in 1946, George Orwell (famed author of Animal Farm and Nineteen Eighty-Four) wrote an essay called “Politics and the English Language.” In it, he included five rules for effective written communication.

I share these five rules here with my own commentary in red. For the life of me, though, I can’t figure out what the fifth one means. What’s your best guess? 

Please share your interpretation of what (v) means in the comment box below. Yes, it can be outrageous!

Orwell’s Five Rules for Effective Written Communication

(i) Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech that you are used to seeing in print. I’d say – Use  original, creative figures of speech, not common (worn out) cliches that everyone knows.

(ii) Never use a long word where a short one will do. Ditto!!

(iii) If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out. I’d say – Find ways to Whack Wordiness in your writing. (See my blog posts on how to do that.) /wp-admin/post.php?post=250&action=edit

(iv) Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent. Agreed (most of the time)! One of my criteria in creating Word Trippers is selecting everyday words, not obscure ones.

(v) Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous. Help! Need a translator for this one!

What would you add to Orwell’s list?

Filed Under: Writing Tips Tagged With: book editing services, George Orwell, rules for effective written communications, Whack Wordiness, Word Trippers, Writers Almanac

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