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Change Long Nouns to Short Verbs to Whack Wordiness

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short verbsby Barbara McNichol

Ever wonder how to make your sentences less verbose and more direct?

Here’s a trick that works like magic: Change long nouns to short verbs.

Consider the differences in these three examples from a nonfiction manuscript I edited:

  • “They remain in contradiction with themselves” vs. “They contradict themselves.”
  • “He made an acknowledgment of her success” vs. “He acknowledged her success.”
  • “We get closer to the implementation of leadership practices” vs. “We get closer to implementing leadership practices.”

Study these examples. They show how you can increase readability by turning a long-winded “heavy” phrase into an active “lively” verb. What clues do you look for? Nouns ending in “ion” and “ment.”

Whatever I’m editing, I’m using this “magic” trick dozens of times a day. What a difference this one technique can make! Try it for yourself.

Action: Identify “ion” and “ment” words in your writing, then rewrite them using a lively verb.

What techniques do you use to whack wordiness? Share them here.

How to Get Rid of Tag-ons and Redundancies

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by Barbara McNichol

Let’s say you have to fill out a form online and you’re restricted to 100 words. You absolutely cannot add one more word. So you work it the best you can, but what can you search for in your quest to meet that magic number of words and whack wordiness at the same time?

redundant wordsTag-ons and redundancies (superfluous repetition or overlapping, especially of words).

A few examples of tag-ons:

  • continue on
  • ramble on
  • refer back to
  • open up
  • cancel out
  • follow on
  • send out
  • start out
  • finish up

Common redundancies:

  • grouped together
  • add more
  • still persist
  • continue to remain
  • plan ahead
  • sum total (choose one)

With many redundancies (such as sum total), you’d use one or the other depending on the context, but not both.

Your challenge: Question every phrase you think may be redundant and test each of the words separately. Which works better in context?

Clutter is the disease of American writing. We are a society strangling in unnecessary words, circular constructions, pompous frills and meaningless jargon. – William Zinsser

For a reference list of redundant phrases, send an email request with Redundancies in the subject line.

What redundant phrases would you add? List them here.

Readability Tip: Turn Long Noun Phrases into Short Lively Verbs

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by Barbara McNichol Writing tips

A tenet of readability and good writing is to “whack wordiness” wherever possible. One way involves replacing long noun phrases with short verbs. Consider these examples:

  • They remain in contradiction with themselves vs. They contradict themselves.
  • He made an acknowledgment of her success vs. He acknowledged her success.
  • We get closer to the implementation of actual leadership practice vs. We get closer to implementing actual leadership practice.

As you can see, you can whack wordiness by turning a long-winded “heavy” phrase into an active “lively” verb.

What clues do you look for? Start with flagging nouns ending in “ion” and “ment.”

When editing manuscripts, I make changes such as these dozens of times a day. What a difference this one technique makes! Try it for yourself.

Your challenge: Use this technique and send me examples.

See also: 5 Tips to Improve the Readability of Your Writing

Upcoming WordShops — More Ways to Boost Readability

Note: You’ll learn dozens of editor’s techniques by attending a business writing WordShop this May or June. You’ll come away with:

  • Ability to write persuasively with fewer words (“whack wordiness”)
  • Increased productivity and clarity in your writing
  • Improved correspondence with clients and friends.

Friday, May 6, 2016, at Tucson College in Tucson, AZ. Full details here.

Thursday, June 16, 2016, at DeVry University in Westminster, CO (hosted by Avante Leadership Group) Sign up here.

Share other ways you like to whack wordiness here.

Key Skills for a High-quality Nonfiction Editor and Writer

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by Barbara McNichol

Students taking a professional editing course at Kennesaw State University recently contacted me and asked the question below. As I responded to them, I thought both wnonfiction editingriters and editors would find this list helpful.

What are the most important skills someone needs to be a high-quality nonfiction editor?

These essential skills come to mind:

  • Patience to concentrate on one tedious project for countless hours (ADD people rarely do well with this)
  • Knowledge of English language and grammar rules – sounds basic but the basics are often missing among writers (that’s why we have editors)
  • Curiosity to question accuracy of word use and willingness look up answers (e.g., dictionary.com, my Word Trippers)
  • A proven process to ensure projects are handled thoroughly (in my case, 3 reviews of every manuscript)
  • Focus on what might be missing from the piece in terms of logic, examples, clarifications
  • Ability to whack wordiness (e.g., tighten the writing, get rid of extraneous words, finding redundancies, keep sentences short, etc.) If writers did this in their own reviews, the editor would focus on value-added aspects such as flow and creativity.
  • Respectful, explanatory tone rather than demanding tone (e.g., beware of using “must” and “should”)
  • Power of using active voice rather than passive voice – rewrite where practical
  • Sense of orderliness and flow so there’s a logical thread running through the piece
  • Smooth transitions between paragraphs
  • Use of figures of speech, metaphors, similes, etc.
  • High level of skill in Word, including formatting and setting up automated Table of Contents

The bonus? Authors who revise their own writing using these skills can save time and money in the editing process before ever getting an editor involved.

What is your experience editing your own writing? What techniques work best for you?

Book Editing: What Critical Steps Come After the Writing?

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Bring Your Questions

Ask Your Questions

Editor’s note: Here’s the recording for this June 10th webinar.

Is it time to take the development of your business book to the next level? In this free webinar featuring Barbara McNichol, you’ll boost your awareness of both the book editing and writing process as you learn to:

  • Use a Planner to improve communication with your editor
  • Whack Wordiness—the most practical technique you’ll ever learn
  • Apply 10 Top Techniques to improve everything you write

Critical Elements for Book Editing

This webinar, hosted by Cathy Fyock, provides a detailed way to spell out the critical elements of your book—at any stage in your manuscript-writing process—so you can communicate clearly with the book editing pro you choose.

Barbara offers expert editing of articles and nonfiction books in the categories of business, spirituality, self-help, how-to, health, relationships, and more. Over the past 20 years, she has placed more than 300 books on her editing “trophy shelf.”

Here’s the recording for this June 10th webinar.

Thanks for listening. Feel free to ask questions here or contact Barbara McNichol at editor@BarbaraMcNichol.com.

You can download the Planner from the Editing Services page at www.BarbaraMcNichol.com

 

 

Whack Extraneous Phrases in Your Writing

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Whack wordinessIn their classic book The Elements of Style, Strunk and White called word clutter “the leeches that infest the pond of prose, sucking the blood out of words.”

You can start by eliminating extraneous phrases that clutter your writing. But which phrases can be “whacked”?

Consider taking out these extra phrases whenever you can:

  • “is intended to, meant to, designed to” e.g., He gives a workshop that is designed to teach writing skills. Better: He gives a workshop that teaches writing skills.
  • “it is all about”; “the fact of the matter is”; “the fact that”; “it’s important to remember that” e.g., The fact of the matter is that it’s unwise to go out carousing. Better: It’s unwise to go out carousing.
  • “in regard to” e.g., Seek additional websites in regard to your industry. Better: Seek additional websites in your industry.
  • “is going to” e.g., He is going to be a key contributor. Better: He will be a key contributor.
  • “in order to” e.g., Add key words in order to describe the new position. Better: Add key words to describe the new position.
  • “there is” and “there will be” e.g., There will be many managers attending the meeting. Better: Many managers will attend the meeting.
  • “the reason why is that . . .” A simple “because” will suffice.
  • “at this time” . . . Now!

To reinforce this, take something you wrote and circle any of these extraneous phrases. Challenge yourself to rework or remove them altogether. You may choose to keep some in, but at least you’ve asked the question: “Do I really need this phrase?” (You don’t need “really” here.)

Keep this list handy. What would you add to it? Comment here.

Whacking Wordiness: Delete Wobbly Words

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by Barbara McNichol
4-13 Barbara 6

It’s time to whack those wobby words!

What do I mean by wobbly words?

Well, words that are vague, indefinite, and don’t add much. In fact, they can clutter your sentences and take away from the clarity you’re striving to create.

Here are five examples of wobbly words. Whack them from your writing whenever you can:

  • really      “I really think it’s time to go.” (extraneous)
  • some       “We rely on some long-standing methods.” (be specific and say a number)
  • very          “Get ready to do a very good job.” (overused; be more descriptive!)
  • that          “Find information that you can apply easily.” (unneeded 9 times out of 10)
  • much       “Jobs posted on the Internet reach a much larger audience than those in newspaper ads.” (doesn’t add value)

In their classic guide The Elements of Style, Strunk and White call word clutter “the leeches that infest the pond of prose, sucking the blood out of words.” Amen!

(Featured in my Wordshop STRENGTHENING Everything You Write. Details about the upcoming session in Tucson here.)

George Orwell’s Writing Rules

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by Barbara McNichol

According to Writer’s Almanac, in 1946, George Orwell (famed author of Animal Farm and Nineteen Eighty-Four) wrote an essay called “Politics and the English Language.” In it, he included five rules for effective written communication.

I share these five rules here with my own commentary in red. For the life of me, though, I can’t figure out what the fifth one means. What’s your best guess? 

Please share your interpretation of what (v) means in the comment box below. Yes, it can be outrageous!

Orwell’s Five Rules for Effective Written Communication

(i) Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech that you are used to seeing in print. I’d say – Use  original, creative figures of speech, not common (worn out) cliches that everyone knows.

(ii) Never use a long word where a short one will do. Ditto!!

(iii) If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out. I’d say – Find ways to Whack Wordiness in your writing. (See my blog posts on how to do that.) /wp-admin/post.php?post=250&action=edit

(iv) Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent. Agreed (most of the time)! One of my criteria in creating Word Trippers is selecting everyday words, not obscure ones.

(v) Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous. Help! Need a translator for this one!

What would you add to Orwell’s list?

Whack Wordiness: Keep Your Writing Motor Running

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by Barbara McNichol
 

“Writings are useless unless they are read, and they cannot be read unless they are readable.” – Theodore Roosevelt

After encouraging writers to quit rambling when crafting their paragraphs and chapters, I want to make sure you don’t stall out.

What techniques can keep your motor running smoothly? Take these four tips to heart.

1. One Thought, One Sentence

2. Steer on the Sunny Side

3. Build Bridges to Guide Your Reader

4. Place Strongest Words at End

1. One Thought, One Sentence

Unless you’re a novelist whose style calls for long, descriptive sentences, in the nonfiction world, it’s best to express one thought in one sentence and end it. Spend another sentence on the next thought, and so on. Keep your prose moving forward with short, succinct sentences.

2. Steer on the Sunny Side

It’s hard for readers to track what’s being written when it’s stated in a negative way. And most of the time, negative statements require a lot more words to make a point. Avoid using “no” and “not” except when you strongly want to emphasize or contrast something.

Negative: The answer does not lie with their carelessness or incompetence.

Better: The answer lies in having enough people to do the job.

Negative: We can’t incorporate all the design features without increasing the unit size.

Better: To provide all the design features, we have increased the unit size.

3. Build Bridges to Guide Your Reader

Since your goal is to whack wordiness, you may consider bridge words and phrases extraneous. Yet, the transitions from one sentence to another do keep your motor running and should be kept in high gear. Why? They create logical links that smooth the road like a well-maintained highway.

Examples of bridge words that . . .

connect two ideas of the same kind         and, plus, as well as

add another thought        besides, also, what’s more, besides, then, again,

compare or contrast ideas    but, still, however, yet, rather, likewise

 reinforce an idea             indeed, in fact, of course, by all means

show results                          as a result, consequently, thus, hence

 4. Place Strongest Words at End

Consider placing your most prominent words at the end of your sentence. Doing so provides emphasis and helps push your writing from one new idea to the next. E.g., “With your new ability to whack wordiness, you’ll drive smoothly toward your writing destination.” The main message hinges on “drive smoothly” rather than on the support statement “with your new ability . . .” It strengthens your intent.

 

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