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When “Start to” and “Decide to” Creep into Your Writing

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making your writing clearby Barbara McNichol

Do you habitually start a sentence with the phrase “start to” or “begin to”? In a 5,000-word document I recently edited, those phrases appeared 14 times, while only five were deemed necessary to the meaning. That’s a lot of extra words!

To be more direct in your writing, skip the “start/begin” part and employ the phrase Nike made famous: Just do it!

These examples show how you can write a stronger statement by going straight to the action verb rather than “beginning” to go for it.

Example 1: Slowly begin to approach your teammate with your idea.

Better: Slowly approach your teammate with your idea.

Example 2: Start to make an agenda for the meeting.

Better: Make an agenda for the meeting.

Whenever you write “start to” or “begin to,” question it. Ask: Is “start” or “begin” essential to the meaning of the sentence? Chances are you can glide straight to the action verb without it!

Similarly, watch out for “decide to” in your writing. Which verb carries more weight in this example sentence, “decide” or “launch”?

Example: The president decided to launch the company’s implementation strategy next month.

Better: The president will launch the company’s implementation strategy next month.

Do you see how “decide” doesn’t add meaning while “launch” is vital to the message? When you catch yourself writing “decide,” ask: Is it needed?

Your goal is clearer, stronger writing so your readers clearly understand what you mean. Pay attention to these phrases and streamline them. It will make a big difference.

What similar verb phrases belong in this category? List them here. I will discuss them in future posts.

Barbara McNichol has created a Word Trippers Tips resource so you can quickly find the right word when it matters most. You’ll improve your writing through excellent weekly resources in your inbox including Word Trippers of the Week. Details at www.WordTrippers.com

 

 

Mark Twain’s Sage Writing Advice

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by Chris Stern (reprinted from SSA newsletter)

Mark Twain was considered one of the greatest American writers of his time. He was often asked about the craft of writing and gave quite a bit of advice about putting words on paper. Here are a few of my favorites.

  1. Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Interestingly, this was quoted by Rudyard Kipling in From Sea to Sea (1899) with the attribution to Mark Twain.
  2. You need not expect to get your book right the first time. Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are God’s adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much; the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by. This was in a letter to his son Orion Clemens in March 1878.
  3. Use good grammar. Not exactly a bold insight, but one that he wrote regarding “Fennimore Cooper’s Literary Offences” in 1895. He wrote “18 Rules of Writing” in this article, the advice on good grammar was #14 . Here are a few more from this source:
  4. A tale shall accomplish something and arrive somewhere.
  5. The episodes of a tale shall be necessary parts of the tale, and shall help develop it.
  6. The personages in a tale shall be alive, except in the case of corpses, and that always the reader shall be able to tell the corpses from the others.
  7. The personages in a tale, both dead and alive, shall exhibit a sufficient excuse for being there.
  8. Eschew surplusage. (aka Whack Wordiness)
  9. The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction.
    By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is that you really want to say.
  10. Don’t say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. (Barbara’s favorite)

Which of these are your favorites, either from a “funny” or a “serious” point of view?

Tap into the Power of “3”

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by Barbara McNichol

Our society loves “3”; we remember things in “3s”; we’ve learned it from kindergarten when we were told to hop, skip, jump and stop, look, and listen.

Businesses gravitate toward “3” when they create marketing taglines. Look at these examples:

  • Reduce, reuse, recycle (recycle guide)
  • Buy it. Sell it. Love it. (eBay)
  • Grace, space, pace. (Jaguar)

How can you improve your writing by tapping into the power of “3”? Consider this example from a newsletter. The rewrite flows better because of the three-part rhythm brought into play.

Before:

You are free to choose, create and live the life you want if you are willing to investigate, make changes, update your protective strategies, be honest with yourself, and invest in what it takes to continue growing. (37 words)

After:

You are free to choose, create, and live the life you want. (12 words)

That works if you are willing to investigate, update your strategies with honesty, and invest in continuing to grow. (20 words)

Also notice how the long-winded sentence was broken into two shorter sentences with breathing space between. Ah, much easier for readers to follow.

How can you tap into the power of “3” in your writing? Share your examples.

When Good Words Turn Bad

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by Teresa Funke (used with permission)
While listening to a friend talk the other day about a moment of personal discovery, I had a realization . . . there are many words I use that I’d always thought of as good words, but I realized in certain circumstances, even a good word can turn “bad.”Take “wish” for example – a word full of positive energy and hopefulness. “Make a wish, honey,” we say.
But just as often when I say the words “I wish,” they are followed by negatives. “I wish she’d stop that. I wish I didn’t have to do this. I wish this wasn’t so stupid.”And what about this one, “I am.” Such a powerful statement on its own, but just as often, it leads off sentences like, “I am not very good at that. I’m too slow. I am such an idiot.”Then there are words like “never” or “always,” which for all the times they can be used in the positive, can just as often be used in the negative.
As a writer, two of my favorite words when paired together are “What if?” That question has spawned many a great story. But I sometimes catch myself slipping toward doubt when I use these words. “What if it doesn’t work? What if she doesn’t like it? What if I’m wrong?”Then again, I’m just as likely to use a negative phrase in a positive way. Take the phrase “So what?”  Makes you bristle just to hear it, right?  But it can also be motivating.“I don’t want to submit this story. It might get rejected.”“So what. Are you any worse off if it does?”“I don’t want to call her; she might say no.”

“So what? Then at least you’ll know.”

Language has power and there is no such thing as a good word or a bad word; there is only how we use them and how we pair them. This last election taught us that.

So be careful how you talk to or about others, but be careful how you talk to yourself as well.

Teresa Funke embodies the modern artist/entrepreneur. She is the owner of Teresa Funke & Company and Victory House Press and the award-winning author of six novels for adults and children based on true stories from WWII. A popular writer’s coach and nationwide speaker, she offers keynotes and presentations. Contact her at tfcinfo@teresafunke.com or call 970-215-4155

In what ways do words have power for you? Share your thoughts here.

Change Testimonials for Nonfiction Book Websites?

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by Patrice Rhoades-Baum

Have you heard this advice: “Never edit or change your testimonials.” Not true! You SHOULD edit them so they’re professional and add value using a light touch. Just be careful not to change the meaning.

Use this checklist:

  • PROOF – It’s vital to fix typos and punctuation issues. This helps to ensure your website and other marketing tools are polished and professional.
  • SHORTEN – Brief testimonials get to the point and are easy to read. Trim long testimonials to 3-5 sentences. Yes, this means sacrificing content. But that’s better than loooong testimonials, which cause readers’ eyes to glaze over.
  • REWORK (IF IT’S CONFUSING)– If a testimonial contains good content but is confusing or poorly written, consider rewording key sentences. Be careful not to change the meaning or the person’s intent. Then email the revised testimonial to your client for approval.
  • ORGANIZE – I like to place testimonials with the most impact at the top of the website’s “Testimonials” page. When you organize testimonials, alternate those that address similar challenges.
  • INCLUDE FULL NAME & MORE – Make every testimonial work hard for you! Include the person’s full name, title, organization, and books written.
  • ADD SEO KEYWORDS – When you edit client testimonials, sprinkle in organic SEO keywords. For example, if your name is Jane Doe and you’re a business coach, you can do this:
    • Replace this statement: “Jane guided me to…”
    • With this statement: “As my business coach, Jane Doe guided me to…”
  • MAKE A BOLD STATEMENT – Your website visitors (your prospects) don’t read every word on your website. They skim. That’s why I select one sentence in every testimonial and make it bold.

Always take time to edit or change testimonials you use in your book marketing. This adds professionalism to your marketing efforts – and adds value for your book.

Please share your opinion on this topic in Comments below.

change client testimonials Patrice Rhoades-BaumThis article is from my colleague Patrice Rhoades-Baum. As a marketing consultant and branding expert, she guides solopreneurs – professional speakers, corporate consultants, and business coaches – to create a clear brand, strategic website, and polished one-sheet brochure. Patrice  specializes in branding for small businesses and writing strategic, hardworking one sheet and website copy.

Don’t Let the Wrong Words Step on Your Success

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by Barbara McNichol

Words make it possible to say what you mean in writing. But they can step on your success, too.

In your communications, what happens if you use the wrong word in the wrong way—such as ending that important message “with my complements” instead “with my compliments”?

Definitely, you risk raising doubt in the minds of those you want to impress.

Don’t Get Egg on Your Face

You risk embarrassment and a lot more. You can:

  • Cause confusion, even delays, by sending unclear messages
  • Waste precious time revising and rewriting to clarify your meaning
  • Smudge your reputation among co-workers, colleagues, and customers who wonder, “Does she know the difference between ‘compliments’ and ‘complements’—really?”

When pesky pairings (is it “adopt” or “adapt”?) trip you up, you need to know!

Word Trippers Example

Adopt, adapt – “Adopt” means to take as one’s own (e.g., someone else’s child), to choose (e.g., a lifestyle), or to formally accept (e.g., a position or principle). “Adapt” is to adjust to various conditions. “When you adopt a young girl, make it easy for her to adapt to your living environment.”

Turn to Your Ultimate Source for Choosing the Perfect Word When It Really Matters!

Yes, you can find lots of free resources online. But why spend your precious time when you can have a word choice guide at your fingertips—instantly?

No drawn-out searches or wild goose chases. You expedite your time and avoid unknowing mistakes with a subscription to Word Trippers Tips.

Bring a reliable resource into your in-box every week

By knowing the right word to use in the right place, your professionalism moves up a notch. And by receiving a new Word Tripper each week, you can isolate the latest and learn it well.

With Word Trippers Tips, you’ll get a Word Tripper of the Week (text plus graphic plus audio) in your in-box every week for a full year. Plus the minute you register for Word Trippers Tips, you’ll receive an ebook compilation of 390+ Word Trippers.

Plus once a quarter, you’ll receive practical bonuses—tools to improve your punctuation, grammar, and word use—plus a webinar and crossword puzzle.

Make sure you know it’s the right word!

American English language resource

Key Skills for a High-quality Nonfiction Editor and Writer

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by Barbara McNichol

Students taking a professional editing course at Kennesaw State University recently contacted me and asked the question below. As I responded to them, I thought both wnonfiction editingriters and editors would find this list helpful.

What are the most important skills someone needs to be a high-quality nonfiction editor?

These essential skills come to mind:

  • Patience to concentrate on one tedious project for countless hours (ADD people rarely do well with this)
  • Knowledge of English language and grammar rules – sounds basic but the basics are often missing among writers (that’s why we have editors)
  • Curiosity to question accuracy of word use and willingness look up answers (e.g., dictionary.com, my Word Trippers)
  • A proven process to ensure projects are handled thoroughly (in my case, 3 reviews of every manuscript)
  • Focus on what might be missing from the piece in terms of logic, examples, clarifications
  • Ability to whack wordiness (e.g., tighten the writing, get rid of extraneous words, finding redundancies, keep sentences short, etc.) If writers did this in their own reviews, the editor would focus on value-added aspects such as flow and creativity.
  • Respectful, explanatory tone rather than demanding tone (e.g., beware of using “must” and “should”)
  • Power of using active voice rather than passive voice – rewrite where practical
  • Sense of orderliness and flow so there’s a logical thread running through the piece
  • Smooth transitions between paragraphs
  • Use of figures of speech, metaphors, similes, etc.
  • High level of skill in Word, including formatting and setting up automated Table of Contents

The bonus? Authors who revise their own writing using these skills can save time and money in the editing process before ever getting an editor involved.

What is your experience editing your own writing? What techniques work best for you?

Do You Talk TO the Reader When You Write?

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by Paulette Ensign

Have you ever noticed what it is that draws you into an article, book, blog post, booklet, or anything else you’re reading? Yes, the content is certainly a key part of  what attracts you. The overall style or tone of the writer is another part that keeps  you reading.

There is still something else you may never have considered, something that can feel like an annoying pebble in your shoe without ever realizing exactly what it is that’s somehow off the mark, unsettling, and even annoying.

That one thing triggering your reaction can be that the writer is mixing it up in talking about themselves, talking to you, and then talking about something that is neither you nor them. They are confusing you in the process of all of that.

When you are writing, these are among the possibilities where your focus is going, intentionally or unintentionally.

All About You

Talking about “I,” “my,” “me,” and “mine” serves a limited purpose. Your readers  expect your experience to be the basis of the information you are sharing with them, so all that self focus is unnecessary within the information you are sharing with them. When you talk about “we” or “us,” you are being presumptuous in including them in your statement. You may feel you are using that as a way to draw in your readers.

Still, your choice in doing that is often counterproductive and more divisive than inclusive.

All About Someone Else

Using examples of “them” can be helpful. Those examples can be even more helpful  when you bring the example clearly back around to directly referencing your reader  and their situation. There are ways to make that connection so you still use the example of someone else.

All About Your Reader

My suggestion? Talk to the reader. A generous use of “you” and “yours” is the magnet to draw your readers into what you are sharing with them. You can personalize your  presentation so it becomes a conversation between you and your reader.

For example, you may have a proven system that you know will solve their concerns. That is what is important to them, that you have something that solves their problem. The difference between “you will experience the results you want from a proven system” and “I have a proven system I use with my clients” is a subtle and powerful difference.

The most unnerving, unsettling, and confusing of all is when you mix up your writing to have all of those targets within the same publication, writing about you, them, and someone else. Your readers may not know exactly what is causing their  negative reaction to your otherwise brilliant information. However, their reaction may ultimately send them away from you instead of toward you.

Talk TO the Reader: ACTION – Review your writing to see how much and how consistently you are talking TO your reader. Talking TO your reader is one of the easiest and quickest ways to deepen your relationship with whomever reads or hears anything you share with people who are eager to learn from you.

Paulette Ensign, Tips Products International Founder, never dreamed of selling a million+ copies of her 16-page tips booklet 110 Ideas for Organizing Your Business Life, much less in four languages and various formats without a penny on advertising. She’s made a handsome living and cross-country move from New York to San Diego recycling those same 3500 words since 1991. With over forty years’ experience worldwide with small businesses, corporations, and professional associations in numerous industries, she lives a mile from the beach, keeping her young at heart. Learn more at http://www.tipsbooklets.com

How do you talk TO your reader? Share your practices here.

Go on a Diet of Stale Phrases and Overused Clichés

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By Loren Ekroth, PhD

Some of the most common clichés in current use include “threw under the bus,” “at the end of the day,” “with all Clichésdue respect,” “the fact of the matter is,” and “don’t cry over spilled milk.” I’ve heard public figures use “end of the day” as many as 10 times in a short interview. Ouch!

You learned in high school English classes that a cliché is “a trite, stereotyped expression that has lost originality and impact by long overuse,” as in “strong as an ox.” Most likely your teachers discouraged the use of clichés on aesthetic grounds, recommending instead that you use fresh and lively language.

How about excising clichés on practical grounds so you don’t lose the impact of your messages? That’s another downside of using clichés.

A Cliché Spoof

Decades ago humorist Frank Sullivan, writing for the New Yorker as “Mr. Arbuthnot, the cliché expert,” spoofed the breezy language of his time (1935-1952) in light-hearted interviews. An updated version by English Professor Ben Yagoda shows the flavor of these conversations:

Q: Mr. Arbuthnot, since your last testimony, have you continued to follow the world of clichés?

A: I’m all over it, 24/7.

Q: Would you mind answering a few questions to establish your expertise?

A: Whassup with that? Sorry if I’ve got that deer-in-the-headlights look, but I’m shocked, shocked. Here’s my deal: I’m a world-class talking head. I’ve made my bones and I’ve got all my bona fides. When you chatted me up with this, you didn’t give me a heads up that I had to reinvent myself.

Q: I apologize. I am merely following the charter of this committee.

A: Whatever.

Q: . . . You will certainly be a valuable witness . . .

A: Sweet. And I’m sorry for going postal a minute ago. I promise I won’t be high maintenance. With all the media here, I can see where this could be a win-win. Besides, I want to give something back.

Q: Have you noticed any new clichés recently?

A: Big time. Bottom line: Arguably, this is the cliché’s 15 minutes.”

As Old as Shakespeare

You get the idea. Clichés start out as fresh and vigorous, became fashionable, then faddish, and finally, faded. They persist because they’re easily dispensed from the tongue or pen without much thought. Some still in use such as “dead as a doornail” are as old as Shakespeare.

The beauty of using fresh, striking language is that it gets a listener’s attention, triggering images and feelings that engage the mind, stimulate creative processes, and are remembered. Doing this takes more mental effort and the intention to have impact, but in our hurry-up world of breezy interactions, such effort is in short supply.

Our poets and novelists offer us the best repository of fresh language, plus a few columnists and commentators. They show us what language can do to get us thinking more vigorously. I remember with admiration the eloquence of the late radio-television commentator Eric Sevareid (1912-1992). His language was pure public poetry without a sniff of clichés.

New Clichés?

When you are selective in choosing the persons you read and listen to, you will find refreshing expressions and can create new ones of your own. As the late movie producer Sam Goldwyn once said so memorably, “Let’s have some new clichés.” And as my friend, professional speaker, and entrepreneur Tom Antion said, “No one ever lost credibility by being interesting.”

Go on a diet from using stale phrases and serve up gourmet words.

Reprinted with permission of Dr. Loren Ekroth, aka “Dr. Conversation,” publisher of “Better Conversations” weekly newsletter. Free subscriptions at www.conversationmatters.com

Which clichés tickle your fancy? Which would you like to ban from the English language? Please share here — and any new clichés you’ve come up with, too!

Writing Blunders That Cost—BIG Time

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by Barbara McNichol

It only takes a moment to inadvertently make a blunder in writing that sets in  motion near-disastrous results. Sure, writing “best retards” instead of “best regards” can be embarrassing but some writing blunders can truly hurt.

What catastrophic examples can you cite about communications gone awry? What consequences followed?

Please share your stories here. The person who submits the Biggest Blunder example earns a printed copy of my Word Trippers book.

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