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Does Word Order Matter? Think “Short to Long”

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by Barbara McNichol

When polishing your sentences, pay attention to the nuances of word order. Yes, it matters!

As someone who has edited more than 350 nonfiction books, to my eye (and ear), placing “short” before “long” works best. This applies to both sentences and lists.

Here’s a simple example from a recent book I edited:

“He was well respected and loved in the academic community.”

I changed it to:

“He was loved and well respected in the academic community.”

Because “loved” is 5 letters and “well respected” is 13, it makes for a smoother read if the longer phrase follows the shorter word. See if you agree.

Another example:

“Good leaders don’t waste time, effort, financial resources, or opportunities.”

This becomes:

“Good leaders don’t waste time, effort, opportunities, or financial resources.” This shift creates a tidy parade of words from short to long.

Word Order in Lists

In addition, a list is visually easier to follow when the line length goes from short to long. This example is from a leadership newsletter:

It would be counterproductive if you:

  • Take the time to plan your day, but you don’t follow the plan.
  • Hire people to do a job but don’t take time training them to do that job.
  • Have slow-moving products in your inventory that generate low margins.
  • Conduct an employee engagement survey and do nothing with the results.
  • Attend a trade show to network with customers but spend your time on the phone.

To get a feel for how adjectives line up best in a sentence, this blog post summarizes it beautifully: http://barbaramcnichol.com/2017/11/02/order-place-adjectives-sentence-explained/

For even more tips, go to http://barbaramcnichol.com/2016/03/06/5-writing-tips-to-improve-your-readability/

Key message: Better writing means paying attention to the best use of word order!

In Business Writing, Give Your Readers a Break: Pick One!

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by Barbara McNichol

business writingIn wanting to cover many aspects of a topic, business writers sometimes throw down so many variables that readers have no way to gauge the importance of each. They feel weighed down trying!

Look at these examples in business writing:

  1. The professor included and provided a methodology for continuing the effort.
  2. The state and local leaders developed and drafted numerous statutes.
  3. We need to appreciate and understand the factors affecting the time and place.

The “Pick One” Principle

You can lighten your readers’ load by applying the “pick one” principle. You’ll find it works for all kinds of business writing—emails, reports, manuscripts, and more.

The “pick one” principle asks: “Which word better describes what you want to say—the word before or after the and?” Then pick the one that adds more emphasis and accuracy to your meaning.

In Example 1, which word better conveys the meaning—included or provided? In this context, provided can cover the meaning for both—that is, if something is provided, we can assume it’s included. Pick one: provided.

The professor provided a methodology for continuing the effort.

Example 2 has the word and in two places, making the sentence long-winded. For developed and drafted, the more apt word is drafted because something can’t be drafted without being developed first. Pick one: drafted.

“Pick one” also applies to making a single-word substitution. For example, state and local could be changed to government without altering the meaning in this context.

The government leaders drafted numerous statutes.

In Example 3, because appreciate and understand are so close in meaning, using both is like saying it twice. “Pick one” to streamline the writing. For time and place, we could substitute a single word: situation.

We need to understand the factors affecting the situation.

Rule of Thumb in Business Writing

When you reread anything you’ve written, find all the places you’ve used and, then apply the “pick one” principle wherever possible. That way, you won’t dilute the meaning of your message or needlessly weigh down your readers.

Give them a break. Pick one!

better writing coverWant more tips like this to hone your writing skills? You’ll find 18 Days to Become a Better Writer an easy-to-use e-guide. Start your journey today by clicking here. Use code 18DAYS at checkout for a discount.

 

Share examples of “pick one” from your own writing here.

Send Fewer Emails to Engage Deeper—and Lighten Your Load

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fewer emails

by Dianna Booher (reprinted with permission)

Tim, a friend of mine back in college, had the weird habit of setting his alarm to go off at 7:00 am on Saturdays when he had no intention of getting out of bed early. “Why?” I asked him one day when we were complaining about studying late for exams and getting up early for class during the week.

“Oh, I don’t get up at 7:00! I just love the feeling of slapping off the alarm and knowing that I can roll over and go back to sleep for another 3 hours.”

Often, during the last three decades as I’ve coached, consulted, trained, and keynoted throughout organizations across myriad industries, I hear a similar sentiment. It’s just worded a little differently: “That department sends so much paperwork and nags us for so much information. It feels good just to ignore them.”

You have an essential mission, of course. And certainly you need to recruit, develop, and retain top talent to accomplish your goals. That involves educating your team about budget, resources, regulations, and compliance matters. Yet it’s not uncommon to hear complaints like these:

  • “They’re nonresponsive; they move too slowly.”
  • “Getting pre-approval just muddies the water.”
  • “They’ll tie your hands. They’re not risk-takers. It’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission.”

Could better—but fewer—emails close the gap between those negative perceptions and your essential mission?

Stated another way: Do you say too much, . . . about too little, . . .  too often? And does this habit bury critical communication your team needs to hear?

The Stats About Overload

Wherever we go, most of us are still tapping away. At the airport. At the gym. At the beach. From a hospital bed. At sunrise. Over lunch. During dinner. Chances are, email habits drain you and your employees, both mentally and emotionally. That spells lost productivity for your organization, stress for you and them, and ultimately the need to tune out periodically.

We were told more than two decades ago that email would revolutionize the way we work and save us an enormous amount of time. While email has many benefits, it has also engulfed us and created other productivity drains.

My organization, Booher Research Institute, recently commissioned a survey of email communication habits and productivity from the Social Research Lab at the University of Northern Colorado. Here’s what a representative sampling of knowledge workers across multiple industries reported about their email habits:

–42 percent spend 3 hours or more per day reading and writing email

–55 percent check email either hourly or multiple times per hour

–34 percent say the email they get is redundant (meaning they receive duplicate copies) or irrelevant to their needs

Send Fewer Emails to Get Quicker Action

When you send multiple emails regarding the same issue (reminders and follow-ups), people start to tune out—to that specific message and others you send. In essence, you are “training” readers to ignore “first editions.” As with those who hit the snooze button on their alarm clocks  multiple times, people become accustomed to ignoring required action until they get several email reminders.

Many conference planners have communicated through this typical “cycle” and learned this principle the hard way. For example, their annual convention ends in August. They began sending periodic emails: “Sign up now for next year to get a big discount.” Then to speakers, they start a different email series: “Propose to speak.” Then, it’s “The proposal deadline is coming.” Then, “The deadline is about to close.” Then, “We’re extending the deadline to give you longer to propose.”

Then the next series starts: “Submit your materials by X date. Then, “This is a reminder to submit your materials by X date.” Then, “This is your last reminder to submit your materials by X date.” Then, “We’re extending the submission deadline.”  Then, “We’ve changed the date for you to submit materials to give you adequate time. The new date is Y.”

You get the idea. Such communication habits sound like a parent’s saying to the four-year-old, “This is the last time I’m going to tell you this last time to pick up your toys.”

Lighten your load and stress: Don’t train your employees to ignore you.

 Engage Fewer People to Get More Responses

Culling your distribution lists for emails you send will likely increase engagement on important projects. As with meetings, the larger the group, the lower the individual participation. When you’re emailing a group for input (for example, a group of engineers about their training needs for the new year), the same principle applies: When you copy a large list, people feel anonymous, and fewer feel obligated to respond.

If you want/need input, cut your list, and you’ll increase response—not to mention clearing inboxes for the uninterested. 

Clarify and Adapt to Standard Response Times

Eighty percent of the participants in the UNC survey said typically expect readers to respond to “important” outside emails within four hours or less; 24 percent expect a response within an hour or less.

What’s the expected response time in the culture of the team you’re serving? Four hours? Twenty-four hours? Should you adapt to it? Are there exceptions to these standards? If so, what? If you don’t know, find out from the organizational leader. (If you are the leader, communicate that standard to your team.) Protect your organizational brand and your personal brand by living up to the expectations.

Slow responses suggest many things—most of them negative.

  • You’re overwhelmed and can’t keep up with the pace.
  • You’re puzzled by the decision or action required.
  • Your system of handling daily inquiries is ineffective.
  • You have a staffing problem.
  • The situation, decision, or project is unimportant to you.
  • You need to gather more information or input before replying.
  • You need time to deliberate before responding.

Can you routinely afford to be considered the bottleneck?

Email can be an enormous time saver–unless poor communication practices diminish its benefits and create an untamed monster. To tame the beast and reclaim your time, send fewer but better emails to engage team members to act on the essential.

Learn more ways to tame the email monster in Faster, Fewer, Better Emails: Manage the Volume, Reduce the Stress, Love the Results. Click here for details.

How would Dianna’s advice–send fewer but better emails–make a difference in your world? Share your comments here.

Be a Better Writer and See Your Career Soar

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Do you want to be More Valuable to your company or your clients? Your writing qualifies you for hiring, for retaining, and for getting promoted. But writing is the gateway to rejection, too. 

People judge your abilities by the quality of your writing.

It’s a harsh fact. In business, people who don’t write well to communicate—who don’t  select the right words to express complex ideas—are perceived as lacking credibility … professionalism … accuracy in their work.

On the flip side, those who master the written word are remembered as influential … reputable … successful.

My name is Barbara McNichol, chief architect of Word Trippers Tips. After years of editing nonfiction manuscripts and proofreading hundreds of thousands of lines of copy, I realized that everyone makes mistakes … everyone mixes up similar words … and everyone loses credibility the moment readers recognize the errors.

I have turned those common errors into a program professionals use to improve their writing instantly: Word Trippers Tips. It includes a 38-minute WEBINAR on its own and/or 12 MONTHS Word Tripper of the Week plus bonuses.

How can you learn to be a better writer and make your career soar?

Go to www.WordTrippers.com  and/or listen to this teleclass 5 Nuggets Successful People Know and Use on better writing.

Please share you comments and questions here.

If Only Writers Would Use “Only” Right

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by Kathleen Watson (used with permission)

Inaccurate placement of the modifier only continues to abound.

I’ve written about only before, and I’ve continued to save examples. Those with a misplaced only far outweigh those where only is in the right spot: closest to the word it modifies. Because the margin is so great, I’m climbing back onto my soapbox.

Why does the placement of only matter?

Only as an adjective or adverb means solely or exclusively, single or solitary, which is the case in most of my examples. It implies limits.

use of onlyConsider these three examples from my book, Grammar for Those Who Hate Rules (p. 29), which show that placement of only changes the meaning of each. Then consider how the placement of only applies to the numbered examples that follow.

Only Danny sang at the party. (No one else sang.)

Danny only sang at the party. (He didn’t dance or play the piano.)

Danny sang only at the party. (He didn’t sing elsewhere.)

Correct Onlys

Now let’s jump into my collection. In these eight examples, only is correctly placed. Note that only follows a verb, clearly indicating what it modifies.

  1. Definitions of plain language that focused only on writing proved too narrow.
  2. For a plural ending in s, x, or z, add only an apostrophe to show possession.
  3. Praise the delivery to Norway of fighter planes that exist only in a video game.
  4. The other defendants were charged only with misdemeanors.
  5. Buckeye still has only about 60,000 people.
  6. He engineered a “smart gun” that could be fired only by an authorized user.
  7. If you get input only from your closest circle, you won’t get the whole picture.
  8. It’s not hard to detect when someone wants to hear only praise and support for their own ideas

Incorrect Onlys

In the next examples, only is placed incorrectly. Note how often it precedes the verb, when it is intended to modify what follows the verb (underlined). Mentally put it in its correct place.

  1. We only have one voice of reason in Alaska.
  2. That could discourage widespread acceptance, especially for a product that may only have limited use.
  3. VA Secretary McDonald has only fired three people for their involvement in the scandal.
  4. On Sunday, the Senate only voted on the two amendments McConnell set up,
  5. Reports from Reuters and Politico indicated that the president would only move to end the program after a six-month delay.
  6. We only have so many weekends.
  7. The U.S. Supreme Court has explicitly ruled that blood can only be drawn from drivers for probable cause and with a warrant.”
  8. The current bills would only apply to new employees.
  9. Starbucks announced plans to open stores that only accept mobile orders.
  10. Google is concerned about SSL certificates, which are supposedly only issued after Symantec takes extra steps to verify the identity of the holder.
  11. Do you still only write by hand?
  12. A favorite Rick Perry flub is his announcement that as president he was going to shutter three federal agencies — and then could only think of two.
  13. This doesn’t mean that you can only send a press release for information that would make the front page of the New York Times.
  14. The tour company will only collect tasting fees for one person for each winery.
  15. You only need 10,000 devoted readers to make a living.
  16. When they run a “find word” search of your work and “that” only appears a handful of times, you already have a leg up.
  17. Why does designer Vivienne Westwood only bathe once a week?
  18. The asteroid was only spotted seven hours before flying past earth
  19. You only have room for one blurb on the front and maybe two more on the back.
  20. He is anticipating opposition from some of his fellow Republicans to a bill that only gives dreamers legal status.
  21. The McDowell Sonoran Preserve could only be built if voters approve the proposed construction.

Look for other examples in articles you read and comment below.

Used with if — if only, as in this post’s headline — only can express a wish (If only writers used only right … ) or regret (If only I’d paid attention … ), or it can mean “if for no other reason” (She told him she’d already done it, if only to stop his reminders).

Pay attention to your onlys. Show that you’re an informed, skilled writer, and set a good example for others. Please share this with colleagues, friends, and family.

Kathleen calls herself the Ruthless Editor. She has created Grammar for People Who Hate Rules to help people write and speak with authority and confidence. Kathleen can be reached at kathy@ruthlesseditor.com.

What Editors Tell Authors About Improving Their Writing

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by Barbara McNichol

What can editors tell writers and authors about improving their writing? Consider these five common writing mistakes even conscientious writers make:

Mistake #1: Being self-absorbed as a writer. With too much talk about the author’s experience of writing, you risk overlooking the reader’s experience. The fix? Use “you” more than “I” in your sentences and stay close to your core message.

Mistake #2: Addressing readers in plural rather than as a single person whose interest you want to capture. Remember, reading is a solitary pastime. The fix? Keep one person in your target audience in your mind’s eye as you write.

Mistake #3: Using a long noun phrase when an active verb will do. The fix? Whenever possible, get an active verb to do the “work” of the sentence. Instead of “the examination of the report was done by the director,” change the noun phrase to a verb and rewrite the sentence: “The director examined the report.” In this way, passive construction becomes active, reduces the word count, and delivers a more direct message.

Mistake #4: Having no clear order to the paragraphs. The fix? Once you’ve crafted a solid, compelling opening, think through how the organization and flow of your main points will best guide your reader logically to your desired conclusion. If possible, test the result with colleagues or actual readers who will give you honest feedback.

Mistake #5: Writing sentences that ramble (on and on and on and on). The fix? Limit your sentences to 15-21 words maximum. Be sure to vary sentence length to create interest.

Bonus mistake: Flat-out choosing the wrong word. Yes, in English, it’s easy to confuse common words such as “advice” instead of “advise” (among hundreds more). The fix? Use a comprehensive resource such as Word Trippers (print or ebook) to help you select the perfect word when it really matters. Want a free mini-version of Word Trippers (the ebook)? Go to http://www.WordTrippers.com

What common writing mistakes would you add to this list?

Tap into the Power of “3”

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by Barbara McNichol

Our society loves “3”; we remember things in “3s”; we’ve learned it from kindergarten when we were told to hop, skip, jump and stop, look, and listen.

Businesses gravitate toward “3” when they create marketing taglines. Look at these examples:

  • Reduce, reuse, recycle (recycle guide)
  • Buy it. Sell it. Love it. (eBay)
  • Grace, space, pace. (Jaguar)

How can you improve your writing by tapping into the power of “3”? Consider this example from a newsletter. The rewrite flows better because of the three-part rhythm brought into play.

Before:

You are free to choose, create and live the life you want if you are willing to investigate, make changes, update your protective strategies, be honest with yourself, and invest in what it takes to continue growing. (37 words)

After:

You are free to choose, create, and live the life you want. (12 words)

That works if you are willing to investigate, update your strategies with honesty, and invest in continuing to grow. (20 words)

Also notice how the long-winded sentence was broken into two shorter sentences with breathing space between. Ah, much easier for readers to follow.

How can you tap into the power of “3” in your writing? Share your examples.

Do You Use “Feel” When You Mean “Believe” in Your Writing?

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by Barbara McNichol

Are you choosing the wrong word for your intended meaning?

Much of the spoken language slides into our writing, but at times the words we say aren’t the exact fit for what we mean. Check your writing intention every time!

wrong word choiceConsider these sentences from a manuscript about education:

  • How many principals do what they feel will win approval?
  • The public feels certain people shouldn’t be teaching.

Given the context, is “feel” the correct word to express the author’s meaning? No, because the essence of the intended meaning doesn’t come from an emotional “feeling” source. Rather, it comes from a profound conviction based on experience—a place of belief.

Because of this distinction, the better word choices would be:

  • How many principals do what they believe will win approval?
  • The public believes certain people shouldn’t be teaching.

Question yourself when you select a commonly spoken word. Does it express the exact meaning based on its context or is it the wrong word?

From now on, designate “feel” a red-flag word. Then replace it with “think” or “believe” or “hope” or another verb and reread your sentence. Is “feel” the most precise word to convey your intended meaning? If not, pause and find exactly the right one.

Unsure which of these verbs—feel, think, believe—to use in your own writing? For feedback on your sentence(s), request it here. 

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