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Concise Writing: Why Does It Matter?

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by James Corgin (used with permission)

Post-modern society has witnessed a tendency to simplify everything it can. We are lost in a sea of unnecessary information. Research has found that we use only 37% of the information taught at school. Of course, there’s also the continuous flow of advertisement and social media updates that inundate us.

That is why information overload is the problem of the 21st century. Some years from now, scientists will probably find a way to decrease its effect, but for now we have only one option – to communicate more concisely. The definition of concise writing is simple: use as few words as possible to convey your message. Below you will find some advice on how to slim down your word count.

Fillers You Should Drop for Concise Writing

If you intend to make your writing concise, avoid these words. We have grouped them into four categories for your convenience. In most cases, these English fillers are superfluous. Sometimes, however, fillers create a necessary rhythm or make the text sound “natural,” so you’ll need to review them on a case-by-case basis.

Redundant Words 

Redundant words repeat the meaning of other words in the sentence. If it is possible to say the same thing in fewer words, always do so.

  • Absolutely + necessary or essential:

Example: Love was absolutely essential to her happiness.

Revision: Love was essential for her happiness.

  • Entirely:

Example: The virus will be entirely eliminated.

Revision: The virus will be eliminated.

  • Completely:

Example: He was completely sure the girl would say “yes.”

Revision: He was sure the girl would say “yes.”

  • Possibly:

Example: He could possibly become the next president.

Revision: He could become the next president.

  • Brief + moment: 

Example: For a brief moment, he remained speechless.

Revision: For a moment, he remained speechless.

  • Ask + the question:

Example: I asked her a question about our plans.

Revision: I asked her about our plans.

  • Actual + facts: 

Example: The policeman submitted the actual facts about the case.

Revision: The policeman submitted the facts about the case.

  • Accordingly: 

Example: Accordingly, ask before making changes next time.

Revision: Ask before making changes next time.

  • ATM machine: (The abbreviation “ATM” stands for “automated teller machine.”)

Example: The ATM machine is around the corner.

Revision: The ATM is around the corner.

  • Enter in:

Example: He entered in his childhood room.

Revision: He entered his childhood room.

  • So or very:

Example: I was so glad to see him.

Revision: I was glad to see him.

  • Still remains:

Example: The author still remains the most prominent figure of the 19th century.

Revision: The author remains the most prominent figure of the 19th century.

Nominalizations 

Nominalization is when you use a noun instead of a verb or adjective. This practice usually slows the reader down. Since action words – like verbs – are more dynamic, you should try to avoid unnecessary nominalizations. Here are some examples:

  • Definition: 

Example: Her definition of self-care was getting enough sleep and eating well.

Revision: She defined self-care as getting enough sleep and eating well.

  • Accuracy:

Example: The accuracy of our study was insufficient.

Revision: Our study was inaccurate.

  • Description: 

Example: Provide a description of the design you prefer.

Revision: Please describe the design you prefer.

  • Had a discussion concerning:

Example: They had a discussion concerning the business perspectives.

Revision: They discussed the business perspectives.

  • Had a conversation about:

Example: They had a conversation about their relationships.

Revision: They discussed their relationships.

  • Have a need for:

Example: I have a need for a day off.

Revision: I need a day off.

  • Increase in strength:

Example: Their love increased in strength.

Revision: Their love grew stronger.

  • Is aware of: 

Example: He was aware of her hatred.

Revision: He realized she hated him.

  • Is in love with:

Example: They are in love with each other.

Revision: They love each other.

  • Lack the ability to: 

Example: I lack the ability to wake up early in the morning.

Revision: I cannot wake up early in the morning.

  • Make a decision to:

Example: I couldn’t make a decision to end our communication.

Revision: I couldn’t decide to end our communication.

  • Reaction:

Example: His reaction offended me.

Revision: The way he reacted offended me.

Vague Words 

Vague language is common in colloquial speech, but in writing, it looks unprofessional. Vague words lack solid definitions. Avoid the words below or replace them, following the instructions.

  • About: 

Example: About 100 visitors left reviews.

Revision: Approximately 100 visitors left reviews.

  • Almost: 

Example: It was almost time to leave.

Revision: They left a few minutes later.

  • Get: 

Example: You need to get stronger.

Revision: You need to become stronger.

  • Get out of:

Example: The building is on fire; get out of it.

Revision: You need to exit the building because it’s on fire.

  • Individual:

Example: Any individual shall have a place of residence.

Revision: Any person shall have a place of residence.

  • Initial:

Example: My initial thought was to leave.

Revision: At first, I thought to leave.

  • You’re going to have to:

Example: You’re going to have to finish this at home.

Revision: You must finish this at home.

  • Make available:

Example: Our service makes available multiple useful features.

Revision: Our service presents multiple useful features.

  • Area:

Example: We left the area.

Revision: We left the country.

  • Aspect:

Example: Planning is my least favorite aspect of traveling.

Revision: I like to travel, but I do not like to plan.

  • Situation:

Example: The situation grew dangerous.

Revision: The uprising grew dangerous.

  • Small, big, good, or bad:

Example: He was a good person.

Revision: He was a kind and caring person.

Empty Phrases 

Empty phrases mean nothing in the literal sense. By the way, “in the literal sense” is also a meaningless phrase. These words distract the reader from your message and can sound colloquial. In many cases, you can do without them or replace them with a more meaningful construction.

  • All things being equal: 

Example: All things being equal, we will earn twice as much next year.

Revision: If all goes well, we will earn twice as much next year.

  • Due to the fact that:

Example: Due to the fact that he is a doctor, he minds his health.

Revision: Since he is a doctor, he minds his health.

  • For all intents and purposes: 

Example: For all intents and purposes, the protagonist will die in the end.

Revision: In the end, the protagonist will die.

  • For the most part:

Example: For the most part, I like Chinese food.

Revision: I like Chinese food.

  • For the purpose of:

Example: I go in for sport for the purpose of keeping in shape.

Revision: I go in for sport to keep in shape.

  • Go ahead:

Example: Go ahead and kill that bug.

Revision: Kill that bug.

  • Harder than it has to be:

Example: The woman made their relationship harder than it had to be.

Revision: The woman made their relationship harder than necessary.

  • Here’s the thing: 

Example: I’ll tell you the story. Here’s the thing.

Revision: I’ll tell you the story. Once upon a time…

  • I feel/believe that: 

Example: I believe that I am capable of doing it.

Revision: I am capable of doing it.

  • I might add:

Example: He is handsome, I might add.

Revision: He is handsome.

  • Integrate with each other:

Example: The devices must integrate with each other to function correctly.

Revision: The devices must integrate to function correctly.

  • In terms of:

Example: His new position was perfect in terms of salary.

Revision: The salary was perfect in his new position.

Thanks for James Corgin for this article that originated at https://ivypanda.com/blog/filler-words/

“As” vs “Since” vs “Because.” How do you choose?

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by Barbara McNichol

Do you know when to use the words as, since, and because?

As with most grammar rules, people writing for business purposes might see the differences as an exercise in hair-splitting. However, each word conveys a slightly different meaning.

If you agree that clarity in communication is essential, and that poor grammar can affect your reputation among peers and superiors, you understand how strong writing makes a good impression.

Master the proper use of these three conjunctions, and you’ll make yourself understood—and trusted.

What are conjunctions, and what is their role in a sentence?

As, because, and since are all conjunctions that introduce a subordinate clause. They provide the reason for the action in the main clause.

For example:

Sandy has to approve all vacation time because Roger left the human resources department.

Monday will be a paid holiday since Remembrance Day falls on a Tuesday this year.

All vacation inquiries will have to be done in person, as Sandy hasn’t updated the online calendar yet.

In all these examples, the subordinate clause provides the reason for the action in question. In addition, it is dependent on the main clause, meaning it has no meaning without it! The main clause, on the other hand, can stand on its own without the subordinate clause.

Using as vs since vs because: not splitting hairs.

If you want the information to resonate with your readers, choosing the correct conjunction is key.

Ask yourself…

  • Where do I want the emphasis?
  • Do I want the reader to focus on the reason or the result?

If you want to emphasize the result, use since or as.

For example:

  • I hope Sandy attends the meeting [result], as I’m eager to hear her organizational plans for the human resources department [reason].
  • Good human resources managers are hard to keep [result] since the job comes with so much pressure [reason].

In both of these examples, the result is at the forefront.

However, when you want your readers to pay close attention to the reason, use because.

For example:

  • Because the human resources department is lacking consistent leadership employee turnover has been a challenge.
  • Did you leave the engineering department because you were frustrated by the lack of resources?
  • It’s important to seal all the hatches when you leave the maintenance room because the filters in the air purifiers have to be kept under pressure.

The causes – or reasons – are clear in these sentences, and draw the reader’s attention.

Using because eliminates the ambiguity in a sentence, as well. Consider using since vs because in this scenario:

  • I understand the new vacation policy much better because I read the employee manual.
  • I understand the new vacation policy much better since I read the employee manual.

In the first sentence, the reader understands that you gained a better understanding of the policy as a result of reading the manual.

What about in the second sentence? When did you gain a better understanding? Some time after reading the manual? Or due to information you found in the manual? Your reader may be able to infer the meaning, but it’s best not to make them guess.

There’s never a bad time for good writing.

Persuasive writing should be crisp and direct. When you’re in a business setting your readers are busy and their time is precious. Don’t waste any of it using ambiguous words or clunky grammar.

Your readers might not be grammar experts, but poor spelling and syntax are a distraction from your message. That comes down to paying attention when faced with word choices like as vs since vs because.

You can access a variety of resources. You can even sign up for my Word Trippers Tips and get grammar tips delivered to your inbox every week.

It’s time to make friends with good writing, and I can help. Contact me to find out how, and share your most common “word trippers” with me, too.

Enjoyed this article? Here are three more to help you communicate effectively:

Common Grammar Miscues that Undermine Good Writing

Why Make a BIG DEAL Out of Correct Spelling and Grammar?

Make Your Writing Stronger – 14 Tips

Common Grammar Miscues that Undermine Good Writing

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Avoid these common grammar mistakes in your writing.
by Barbara McNichol

Did you know that bad grammar can ruin a good message?

You could be missing opportunities to get your point across because your readers have to wade through awkward sentences that set their teeth on edge.

Common grammar mistakes can be avoided if you take the time to learn the rules and then apply them. Pay special attention to the eight that follow.

The 8 most common grammar miscues

Here’s a list of the eight most common grammar mistakes and ways to spot and fix them.

1. Me versus I: subject pronoun (plural subjects)

Incorrect:
“Me and Janet completed the quarterly sales report.”

Correct:
“Janet and I completed the quarterly sales report.”

Rule: When the subject is more than one, you need a subject pronoun (I, she, he, we, they, who).

Clue: Say the sentence without ‘Janet’. “I finished the quarterly sales report.” Now it’s easy to tell which pronoun is correct, right?

2. Me versus I: object pronoun (verb)

Incorrect:
“Katherine hired Dave and I to draft the sales proposal.”

Correct:
“Katherine hired Dave and me to draft the sales proposal.” is correct.

Rule: “Dave and me” is the object of the verb “draft” and therefore requires an object pronoun (me, her, him, us, them, whom).

Clue: Say the sentence without Dave. “Katherine hired me to draft the sales proposal.” It’s obvious now, isn’t it?

3. Me versus I: object pronoun (preposition)

Incorrect:
“Between you and I, we got the job done.”

Correct:
“Between you and me, we got the job done.”

Rule: In this sentence, “me” is the object of the preposition “between” and therefore requires an object pronoun (me, her, him, us, them, whom).

Clue: “I” is the subject of a sentence and will be followed by a verb “ran, went, jumped, cried.” “Me” is the object of a sentence and is preceded by a preposition “with, to, between, before.”

4. Self

Incorrect:
“Irene, Lloyd and myself finished the blueprints.”

Correct:
“Irene, Lloyd, and I finished the blueprints.”

Rule: You can’t use a “-self” pronoun (myself, yourself, himself, herself, themselves, ourselves) unless it refers to another noun or pronoun earlier in the sentence.

Clue: Look for the referral word that precedes the pronoun and say the sentence without “Irene, Lloyd.” “I finished the blueprints.”

How many times have you read this incorrect sentence?

“Please feel free to contact myself if you need further information.”

“Please feel free to contact me if you need further information.” is correct.

5. To versus too

Incorrect:
“Roger was to swamped and couldn’t complete the report on time.”

Correct:
“Roger was too swamped and couldn’t complete the report on time.”

This might seem like an obvious mistake. It happens most often when you’re in a hurry – but that’s no excuse. Your reader will notice the gaff.

6. Lay versus lie

“Nigel was feeling light-headed, so his manager suggested he lay down in the infirmary.” is incorrect.

“Nigel was feeling light-headed, so his manager suggested he lie down in the infirmary.” is correct.

Rule: You lie down on a bed and lay down an object.

Clue: To lay is to place something down in a resting position. A chicken lays eggs, it doesn’t lie eggs.

7. There versus their versus they’re

Incorrect:
“It was there turn to present sales projections.”

Correct:
“It was their turn to present sales projections.”

“Their looking forward to presenting this quarter’s sales projections.” is incorrect.

“They’re looking forward to presenting this quarter’s sales projections.” is correct.

Rule: There is a place, their is a possessive pronoun, they’re is a contraction of “they are.” This grammar gaff is rarely due to not knowing the difference; rather, it slips through spellcheck.

Clue: This common grammar mistake can easily be avoided by proofreading your communications carefully before pressing “send”.

8. They/their versus he/his or she/her

As you probably know, the convention for the use of “they” has changed. It is now acceptable to use “they” to identify an individual and allows for gender neutrality.

“They asked that their report be presented last” can refer to a single person.

Rule: In the appropriate context, “they/their” is a plural pronoun while he/his and she/her are singular. So, if you’re writing about someone who is previously identified as one male or female, “they” is no longer grammatically correct.

Clue: Are you referring to one person who identifies as either male or female? Or are you talking about a group of people or someone who wishes to remain gender-neutral? Attention to context is important with this grammar rule.

Why good grammar matters.

In the age of Twitter shorthand and texting shortcuts, good grammar and spelling are taking a beating. But according to experts in business communications, they’re still relevant.

If you take time to edit your writing – whether it’s an email to a peer or superior, a sales pitch to a potential client, or a summary of work you’ve completed – your message holds more weight when your grammar and spelling are accurate.

I always encourage my fellow writers to “make friends with good writing.”

Enjoyed this article? Here are three more to help you communicate effectively:

Whack Wordiness: How to Stop Rambling
Do You Use These Common Phrases Correctly?
Why Make a Big Deal Out of Correct Spelling and Grammar?

What grammar miscues trip you up? Please share them here.

Word Meanings Essential to Know in These Unprecedented Times

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One of my favorite resources, Dictionary.com, gives us a host of word meanings that have been essential (or at least useful) during this coronavirus period. Words matter; that’s why we should dig into their accurate meanings.

This link opens a meaningful door to terms we’re hearing every day.

When you go there, you’ll also see a number of relevant “word trippers” such as “epidemic” vs. “pandemic”; “respirator” vs. “ventilater”; “quarantine” vs. “isolation.”

Take a few moments to study word meanings that matter the most these days!

 

Are You Giving Praise or Gratitude? How This Makes Everyone Better Versions of Themselves

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By Lynne Franklin (reprinted with permission)   

Kathy was my first assistant when I was working at a public relations agency in my twenties. I made a point of writing thank-you notes to her when she finished something for me.

Walking through the office one day, I heard Kathy talking to another assistant. She said, “Lynne writes me thank-you notes for everything. That makes them all kind of meaningless.”

I was shocked! I thought I was being a good supervisor … Not knowing what to do, I never discussed this with Kathy and just wrote fewer of them.

What’s the Difference?

Praise is defined as “the expression of warm approval or admiration.” It comes from the Latin pretium, meaning “reward, prize, value, worth.”

Gratitude is “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.” Its root is the Latin gratus, for “pleasing, agreeable, thankful, grace.”

If this seems like so much hair splitting, here’s the sense I make of it. Praise recognizes something a person has done. Gratitude is about the meaning of what they do and who they are to you.

With that in mind, I can see how my notes fell short for Kathy. They didn’t show approval or admiration of her work. Nor did they show appreciation or a wish to be kind back. She was right: my scribbles were a meaningless pleasantry that made me feel good.

Our Brains on Gratitude

Here’s the great thing. Gratitude is a gift to the giver and receiver.

It stimulates both brains to produce the neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine, which make us feel good and boosts our moods. It also reduces fear and anxiety by lowering the amount of stress hormones in our systems.

When we practice gratitude every day, this rewires our brains. We strengthen these neural pathways, making us more grateful and positive by default. (This affects the people around us, because moods are contagious.)

Then we all get the documented benefits of gratitude:

  1. Being happier—having more positive emotions and thoughts, becoming more aware and awake, feeling greater satisfaction with ourselves, enhancing our mood
  2. Being healthier—building a stronger immune system, having fewer aches and pains, having optimum blood pressure and heart function, experiencing better sleeping and waking cycles
  3. Being better versions of ourselves—improving our communication with others, having more empathy, having stronger relationships, being more likeable, being a more involved team member

What Now?

Don’t make my mistake of sending thoughtless thank yous. Whether giving praise or gratitude, be specific:

  • Praise—“You did a great job of leading that meeting, Kathy. You kept things moving. We got a lot done—on time! And now everyone knows what to do next.”
  • Gratitude—”You’re an inspiring leader, Kathy. This meeting is a great example. Not only did you get everything covered in an hour, but you made sure we all felt involved in the solution and know what to do next. I’m so happy to be part of your team because we’re making a difference!”

Look for opportunities to express gratitude. It could be a comment—face-to-face or phone/Zoom/Skype. It could be a note—which has even more impact when you deliver it in person, or even read it out loud to the recipient first. It could even be thinking about someone and thanking that person in your head. And don’t forget to regularly send yourself a note or thought of gratitude.

Make gratitude a practice. Some people keep gratitude journals, where they write what happened this day or week that they’re grateful for. Or they have a “gratitude partner” whom they regularly discuss this. Whatever path you choose, focus on how these instances made you feel.

In the middle of your over-busy day, take time to notice and express appreciation. Consider it the emotional equivalent of the boost you get from coffee or chocolate—without the calories!

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Lynne Franklin is a communications expert who can increase your persuasiveness in three ways:

  • Speeches, workshops and coaching that give you tools you can use right away
  • Strategies that help you turn difficult business communications into opportunities to succeed
  • Written and spoken communications created to reach your corporate and marketing communication goals

Get more people to do what you want. Let Lynne show you how. Call 847-729-5716

Is your writing pompous?

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by Barbara McNichol

You can sound knowledgeable without sounding pompous... Here's how

 

You can sound knowledgeable without sounding pompous...here’s how.

There’s a fine line in communication – whether it’s in a non-fiction book or email at work – between sounding knowledgeable and sounding pompous.

Have you crossed that line? There are some common phrases to avoid if you don’t want to come across as arrogant or condescending.

It’s important that you temper your language when writing. You don’t have the benefit of voice intonation, hand gestures, emotions…all the things that impact a face-to-face encounter with your audience. 

If you give off the wrong signals in person, you have an immediate opportunity to correct your misstep.

That can’t be said of your writing. Once you’ve pressed “Send”, mailed the letter, circulated the memo or published the book, your opportunity to explain your intent has passed.

You don’t want to set a tone that can be misconstrued if you’re not there to explain what you meant.

There are several phrases you can avoid – they pad your writing with extra words but don’t add any meaning to your message.

Here are 12 phrases to avoid that will save you from sounding pompous:

  1. Not to mention… Okay, then don’t mention it.
  2. It goes without saying… Right, then don’t say it.
  3. If I may say so… Well, since you’re the author, of course, you can say so.
  4. I believe that… Now the reader wonders if your message is based in facts.
  5. In my humble opinion… An automatic signal that you’re not feeling humble.
  6. To tell the truth… Implies you’ve lied to your reader in the past. 
  7. To be honest with you… Again, a suggestion that you’ve been dishonest.
  8. For the record… If you’re not under oath you don’t need this qualifier.
  9. Let me be perfectly clear… Usually followed by complete bafflegab.
  10. This may sound stupid but… Check yourself, the rest of that sentence probably sounds stupid.
  11. With all due respect… The prelude to an insult, no respect implied or taken.
  12. In other words… The worst culprit. Just use the right words the first time.

Take these pompous-sounding “fillers” out of your writing to avoid confusion and gain clarity in your writing. This is particularly helpful in business communication, approach your reader assuming they’re pressed for time. They need information, not prose or poetry.

Are there other “filler phrases” that make writing sound pompous? Share them in the comments section below or send them along and I’ll add them to the list.

If you’d like help honing your writing skills, feel free to contact me.

Did you find this article helpful? Here are three others you’ll enjoy:

Why Use Active Verbs Instead of Passive?

Mixing Singular with Plural: Keep the Old Rules with Some New Tricks

Better Word Choices for Better Writing

This article was originally published on September 22nd, 2016, and has been updated. 

Does Word Order Matter? Think “Short to Long”

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by Barbara McNichol

When polishing your sentences, pay attention to the nuances of word order. Yes, it matters!

As someone who has edited more than 350 nonfiction books, to my eye (and ear), placing “short” before “long” works best. This applies to both sentences and lists.

Here’s a simple example from a recent book I edited:

“He was well respected and loved in the academic community.”

I changed it to:

“He was loved and well respected in the academic community.”

Because “loved” is 5 letters and “well respected” is 13, it makes for a smoother read if the longer phrase follows the shorter word. See if you agree.

Another example:

“Good leaders don’t waste time, effort, financial resources, or opportunities.”

This becomes:

“Good leaders don’t waste time, effort, opportunities, or financial resources.” This shift creates a tidy parade of words from short to long.

Word Order in Lists

In addition, a list is visually easier to follow when the line length goes from short to long. This example is from a leadership newsletter:

It would be counterproductive if you:

  • Take the time to plan your day, but you don’t follow the plan.
  • Hire people to do a job but don’t take time training them to do that job.
  • Have slow-moving products in your inventory that generate low margins.
  • Conduct an employee engagement survey and do nothing with the results.
  • Attend a trade show to network with customers but spend your time on the phone.

To get a feel for how adjectives line up best in a sentence, this blog post summarizes it beautifully: http://barbaramcnichol.com/2017/11/02/order-place-adjectives-sentence-explained/

For even more tips, go to http://barbaramcnichol.com/2016/03/06/5-writing-tips-to-improve-your-readability/

Key message: Better writing means paying attention to the best use of word order!

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