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Turn Passive Verbs Active to Spruce Up Your Writing

February 20, 2015 by Barbara McNichol Leave a Comment

by Barbara McNichol

Before detecting the “passive” voice and addressing how to change it to “active,” consider why you should care.

Active verbs will improve your writing (most of the time) because:

  • Active verbs declare who or what is (or should be) performing the action; you avoid confusion, guesswork, or dodging responsibility.
  • Active verbs make your writing flow more easily; readers will more quickly get the ideas you want to convey.
  • Sentences constructed in the active voice usually require fewer words; you constantly want to aim to write concisely!

How to Identify “Passive”
As a reader, if you can’t identify the doer of the action—the subject—the sentence has likely been constructed in the passive voice. Even when the subject is clear, two clues help you identify “passive” use: 1) the word “by” and 2) variations of the verb “to be.”

Juicy!

Juicy!

Consider these sentences:
Passive—“The juicy watermelon was eaten by the boy.”
Active—“The boy chomped into the watermelon’s juicy belly.”

Passive—“Employees are seen by their managers as responsive and enthusiastic.”
Active—“Managers see their employees as responsive and enthusiastic.”

In addition, passive verbs can foster weasel-like communication. They might be used to hide who’s responsible for an action, thus evading accountability rather than declaring it. For example, if a contract states “the rules for the homeowners will be enforced” but doesn’t note who will enforce those rules, what’s the result? Ambiguity. Confusion. Inaction.

How to Identify “Active”
The pattern for an active sentence is typically “subject + verb + direct object.” The direct object is the recipient of the action—that is, what or whom the verb affects. Example: The employees (subject) implement (verb) the new strategy (object). Who’s doing the action of implementing the new strategy? The employees. Thus, it’s clear the employees are accountable for the action.

Your Turn
Notice the passive construction in the following sentence and rewrite it, making sure to use an active verb. (Hint: You’ll need to make up a subject.)

Passive: This policy is being implemented in an effort to streamline our process.
Active: ___________________________________

Use the clues I’ve provided to identify passive sentences you’ve written and revise them. Not sure if you rewrote one or more of them correctly? Share them with me via email, and I’ll provide feedback.

Filed Under: Grammar Tips, Writing Tips Tagged With: active verbs, active voice, Barbara McNichol, nonfiction book editor, passive verbs, passive versus active, passive voice, professional business book editing, sentence construction, why use active voice

Active Construction: The Single Most Important Change Writers Can Make

February 6, 2012 by Barbara McNichol Leave a Comment

by Barbara McNichol

active constructionWhat’s the single most important change you can make in your writing? Learn to use active construction to add clarity and action to your message.

Watch out for “is” words and their various cousins.
Stay alert to phrases like “is happening” or “was being good”;
change them to “happens” or “behaved.” Search out every
weak “is” form in your manuscript and find a strong
alternative.

Avoid “Start” and “Begin”–“Just” too

Don’t overuse the words “start to” and “begin.” What
can you do differently? “Start to rub your hands together”
becomes “rub your hands together”; “allow your energy
fields to begin merg ing” becomes “allow your energy fields
to merge.” Are you guilty of overusing these two weak words?

In fact, I’d put the word “just” in the same “weak” category.
I love what one of my subscribers wrote: “I don’t have a
Begin or Start habit. I do, though, have a Just habit. I just
can’t kick it. It just seems appropriate when you just do
something . . . like I just read your newsletter. Without the
just, I could have read it anytime.”

Lazy Linking Phrases

Add to that a few lazy linking phrases like “there are” and
“there will be.”  Rewrite them! For example, “There will be
many representatives elected” becomes “voters will elect
many representatives.” (Better yet, instead of many, use a
specific number.)

Why do I call these phrases lazy? Because they often lead
into long passive sentences that stem the flow and slow
readers down. When your readers have to swim upstream to
follow what you write, they tend to give up. Better to ease
them along with crisp, sharp prose—especially active verbs!

Yes, I do keep beating this drum about active verbs because
they will make your writing better. Change passive to active
and you’ll see how they improve the flow, enhance the clarity,
and add muscle to the meaning.

Challenge: Rewrite these sentences using active construction:

  1. Passive: This policy is being implemented in an effort to streamline our process.
    Active:
  2. Passive: Improvement will be noted in most cases (or instances).
    Active:
  3. Passive: The procedure was changed in order to reduce the necessary steps.
    Active:

Filed Under: Business Writing Tagged With: active construction, active verbs, active voice, Barbara McNichol, better writing, book editing services, business writing, effective writing, nonfiction book editing, passive voice, professional book editing

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