Barbara McNichol Editorial Services

Add power and persuasion to your books, articles, and one-sheets

Why Use Active Verbs Instead of Passive?

by 4 Comments

Active verbs motivate your reader to take action when the time is right
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
by Barbara McNichol

Active verbs.

Your English teacher begged, cajoled, implored, beseeched you to use them in your writing. 

And when you’re writing poetry or prose, playing with the English language is wonderful.

But when you’re writing non-fiction books or business reports, you want your reader to engage. You have to choose language that will hook them and keep them following along with your message.

That’s when active verbs come into play. Using them is critically important in book writing and daily business communication.

What do you mean by active – versus passive – verbs?

Here’s a quick summary. 

Active verbs:

  • Declare who or what is (or should be) performing the action you’re suggesting.
  • Help your reader “get to the point” more quickly.
  • Tend to eliminate extra words.

How can you identify passive verbs? Think, “To be, or not to be; that is the question.”

It’s a seminal phrase in Shakespeare’s prose and has its place in literature, but any use of the verb “to be” in business communication is passive and doesn’t inspire action.

Still confused? That’s okay, the rules of English grammar are a challenge, even for those of us who practice it for a living! 

So here are two examples of passive versus active verbs in a sentence:

Passive: The juicy watermelon was eaten by the boy.

Active: The boy chomped into the watermelon’s juicy belly.

Passive: Employees are seen by their managers as responsive and enthusiastic.

Active: Managers see their employees as responsive and enthusiastic.

When you want to place emphasis on the object of the sentence, passive verbs help. 

In these examples, do you see how the passive verb puts emphasis on the watermelon and the employees while the active verbs place the emphasis on the boy and the managers?

It changes the perspective for the reader. And as the writer, you have to ask what you want them to care about?

Own the problem.

In stripped-down terms, not owning the problem is called “passing the buck.”

Passive verbs can be used to hide the person – or people – responsible for a mistake or lack of action. Worse yet, they can be used to validate inaction. For example, when you sign a lease, you’ll likely see a clause along these lines:

“The rules for the homeowners will be enforced.”

Rules by whom?

Or you might have received a message like this during your workday:

“Mistakes were being made that resulted in a failure to comply with regulations.”

Mistakes by whom?

Do you see how the ambiguity of the passive verb lays a foundation for poor business relationships?

What active sentence structure works?

A general pattern for a sentence employs an active verb rather than a passive one. It’s typically “subject + verb + direct object.”

Here’s an example:

“The landlord (subject) will implement (verb) the new safety protocol (object) to ensure renter safety.”

This sentence makes it clear that the landlord is responsible for the actions detailed in the contract.

Now it’s your turn.

Here’s an example of a passive verb. Using the tips I’ve shared, change the sentence to one in which the verb is active and then send me your response.

Passive: “This policy is being implemented in an effort to streamline our process.”

Active: _________________________________________________________

I look forward to hearing from you!

If you found this article helpful, you might enjoy these:

How to Wake up 16 Boring Verbs

Mixing Singular with Plural: Keep the Old Rules With Some New Tricks

Better Word Choices For Better Writing

Does Word Order Matter? Think “Short to Long”

by Leave a Comment

by Barbara McNichol

When polishing your sentences, pay attention to the nuances of word order. Yes, it matters!

As someone who has edited more than 350 nonfiction books, to my eye (and ear), placing “short” before “long” works best. This applies to both sentences and lists.

Here’s a simple example from a recent book I edited:

“He was well respected and loved in the academic community.”

I changed it to:

“He was loved and well respected in the academic community.”

Because “loved” is 5 letters and “well respected” is 13, it makes for a smoother read if the longer phrase follows the shorter word. See if you agree.

Another example:

“Good leaders don’t waste time, effort, financial resources, or opportunities.”

This becomes:

“Good leaders don’t waste time, effort, opportunities, or financial resources.” This shift creates a tidy parade of words from short to long.

Word Order in Lists

In addition, a list is visually easier to follow when the line length goes from short to long. This example is from a leadership newsletter:

It would be counterproductive if you:

  • Take the time to plan your day, but you don’t follow the plan.
  • Hire people to do a job but don’t take time training them to do that job.
  • Have slow-moving products in your inventory that generate low margins.
  • Conduct an employee engagement survey and do nothing with the results.
  • Attend a trade show to network with customers but spend your time on the phone.

To get a feel for how adjectives line up best in a sentence, this blog post summarizes it beautifully: http://barbaramcnichol.com/2017/11/02/order-place-adjectives-sentence-explained/

For even more tips, go to http://barbaramcnichol.com/2016/03/06/5-writing-tips-to-improve-your-readability/

Key message: Better writing means paying attention to the best use of word order!

3 Mistakes People Make in Writing Customers

by Leave a Comment

By Dianna Booher (used with permission)

In today’s world, we work, live, and die by email. Okay, I exaggerate. But it’s hard to get through a week without weeding your way through an overflowing inbox. How do you make your emails stand out—positively rather than negatively—from competitors?

For starters, correct these problems…

3 Common Email Mistakes

Vague Subject Lines

Subject lines should be a condensed version of your message and the action you want. They should be informative, not mysterious—unless you’re an email marketer. And even then, marketers often find that vague headlines don’t always intrigue buyers.

A quick scan of a week’s inbox reveals subject lines like these:

A Quick Question (About what?)

Following Up (On what?)

Last-Minute Details (Is the reader asking for them or giving them?)

Can you imagine reading newspaper headlines as vague as these: “Stock Market.” “Taxes.” “Blizzard Conditions.” You wouldn’t know where to begin reading. Unless you’re a novelist—a mystery writer at that!—turn your subject lines into informative headlines.

Subject lines should be specific, useful, brief:

How to Register for the Upcoming RW Conference & Expo

New Dates for Denver New Product Orientation: Aug 12-13

Stopping Work on FTD Coding: Glitch in Step 7

Available Friday for Call About Licensing Extension?

Unclear Actions and Timeframes

Don’t hint or imply. State exactly what you want the reader to do and when. You can soften a request by stating the action as a question or by adding a courtesy word. For example: “Would you please send me your feedback on the demo equipment by Friday, May 6?” Such a statement sounds friendly, yet still sets expectations.

Never equate courtesy with vagueness. Phrases such as “at your earliest convenience” or “as soon as possible” simply leave your reader guessing. You can be both pleasant and precise.

Openings That Close Doors

In the classic movie Jerry Maguire, Tom Cruise barges into his home after an argument and long separation from his wife, starts an explanation meant as an apology, and makes a romantic plea: “You complete me…  You…”

She interrupts, “You had me at hello.”

In case you don’t recall the movie plot, let me just say the similarity to email greetings stops there:  Your email readers are not in love with you. (Okay, maybe your family members love you. Possibly a few favorite customers love you.) But even if emailing best friends, chances are they already have an overflowing inbox and may not want another email from you.

So your email greetings should warm clients and prospects up—not put them off.

Another thing about greetings: Stand out by “mixing It up.” My colleague Bill Lampton has mastered this principle well. Every email from him sounds as though he has just walked into my office with a fresh comment of the morning. Here are some recent greetings from his emails:

Dianna, hi—

Very good, Dianna. The next thing….

How about Tuesday, Dianna?

Good morning, Dianna!

For sure, Dianna…  Mid- to late-May fits my schedule…

I totally agree, Dianna, about the need to …

See how these greetings pull you right into the email as if we’re in a relationship and the conversation is just continuing?

That’s exactly the feeling you want your customers to have as they see your email in the preview window—that they’re in an ongoing relationship with you and should respond as if face to face.

So how to break through the email barrier and get quicker responses? Be specific. Say it in the subject line. Make sure your greeting warms buyers up—not puts them off.

email mistakesLearn more ways to improve your email communication in Faster, Fewer, Better Emails: Manage the Volume, Reduce the Stress, Love the Results by Dianna Booher. Click here for details.

 

5 Writing Questions to Ask Before Saying “I’m Done”

by Leave a Comment

by Barbara McNichol

ask writing questionsSuppose you’re composing a sensitive email, article, or letter—one that’s extremely important in your world. But the message must be as clear and concise as possible.

Ask these five writing questions and follow the examples. From there, make changes that will immediately improve your prose and ensure you’ve written what you meant to write.

  1. Have you put in filler words that don’t add meaning to your sentence? E.g., Starting a sentence with “there are” or “here is” or a variation. “Here are excellent points to consider” becomes “Consider these points.” More direct!
  2. Can you spot and eliminate extraneous phrases? Omit “the fact of the matter is…” or “it’s important to remember that…” or “it’s all about…” Like filler words, they take up space without adding meaning.
  3. Where can you use noun modifiers to be more concise? E.g., “Tips on writing” becomes “Writing tips” and “Details regarding the conference” becomes “conference details.”
  4. How can you streamline sentences without changing the meaning? Look for “who” and “which” phrases. E.g., “Dee, who is our new manager, just had surgery” becomes “Our new manager, Dee, just had surgery.” “Our report, which we finished, is on your desk” becomes “We put our finished report on your desk.” Bonus: It uses an active verb.
  5. How can you use commas sparingly but also when needed to clarify the meaning of your sentences? E.g., “You can overlook punctuation rules and people will have trouble reading your writing and your ideas will get lost.” Without a comma after rules, this can be misread to say: “You can overlook punctuation rules and people…” That’s why you need the comma after rules. Even clearer would be: “If you overlook punctuation rules, people will have trouble reading your words, and your ideas will get lost.”

What writing questions would you add to these five that would help hone your writing to perfection before saying, “I’m done”? Note them in the comments section.

Want more tips like this to answer your writing questions and advance your career? You’ll find 18 Days to Become a Better Writer an easy-to-use e-guide. Start your journey to #betterwriting by clicking here.better writing cover

Word Clutter Makes Me Feel like I’m Swimming in Jell-O

by 2 Comments

by Barbara McNichol

Reading through a book or report or email with lots of word clutter makes me feel like I’m swimming in Jell-O. My mind goes into slow motion. I lose attention. I start thinking about picking dead leaves off plants.

I’m sure you know what I mean by “word clutter.” It’s those long-winded phrases that the writer didn’t take the time to pare down.

Well, I have a magic trick for cutting out dead words and leaving my plants for another day.

Word Clutter Pop Quiz

What is the #1 way to make sentences less verbose and more direct?

Answer: Change long noun phrases to short verbs.

Consider the differences in these 3 examples:

  1. “They remain in contradiction with themselves” vs. “They contradict themselves.” (“Contradiction” is the noun; “contradict” is the verb.)
  2. “He made an acknowledgement of her success” vs. “He acknowledged her success.” (“Acknowledgement” is the noun; “acknowledged” is the verb.)
  3. “She initiated an implementation of the plan.” vs. “She implemented the plan.” (“Implementation” is the noun; “implemented” is the verb.)

See how less wordy and more direct the second version is in each sentence?

And Here’s Another Cagey Trick

If you’re not sure whether you can turn a long-winded noun into an active, lively verb, a dead giveaway is nouns ending in “ion” and “ment.” Notice in these examples the words contradiction, acknowledgement, and implementation. All those nouns have been successfully turned into shorter, more action-oriented verbs.

So the next time you edit your own work, use this magic trick and add more BAM! to your writing.

Even More BAM! for Your Buck

A few years ago, I launched my Word Trippers Tips ADVANTAGE Program. It took off and customers reported better writing skills almost immediately.

This past year I created three options, which make it even easier to use and more AFFORDABLE.

Not a course … but a source … Word Trippers Tips ADVANTAGE Program is an interactive resource that takes almost no time every week to absorb.

Curious to know more? Go to www.WordTrippers.com for full details.

What writing tricks do you use to reduce word clutter?

Chiasmus: When Words Mirror Each Other in a Sentence

by 2 Comments

by Barbara McNichol

Using figures of speech in our writing make it fun. Truly my favorite figure of speech is the chiasmus­ (ky-AZ-mus). That’s when words in a sentence mirror each other.

Politicians have made them famous (e.g., Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country. – John F. Kennedy). Experts have made them accessible and even fun (e.g., Dr. Mardy Grothe’s book: Never Let a Fool Kiss You or a Kiss Fool You: Chiasmus and a World of Quotations That Say What They Mean and Mean What They Say)

My contribution to the joy of words is a 4-page Chiasmus Collection I’d like to share. Simply email me with Chiasmus Collection in the subject line.

The ones I’ve included come from years of gleaning them from authors, clients, and subscribers in my daily editing work.

A few choice examples:

It is not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old; they grow old because they stop pursuing dreams. – Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Write only what you love, and love what you write. – Ray Bradbury

New York is the perfect model of a city, not the model of a perfect city. – Sir Lewis Mumford

What is your favorite chiasmus? Share it here!

Request my 4-page Chiasmus Collection.

 

Use the “Language of the Positive”

by Leave a Comment

by Joan Burge (used with permission)

Did you know that changing just a few of the everyday words you use while conducting business can actually enhance people’s positive impressions of you? Here are three highly effective tips you can start using today.

  1. “Do” or “can” instead of “try.” When you’re a pro at what you do, you understand the importance of managing expectations among the people you support and work with in the office. That’s why so many of us use the word “try” (as in, “I will try to have that report finished Tuesday”) to buffer our schedules and communicate parameters on tasks and projects. Problem: “Try” has a somewhat wimpy connotation, as if you’re unsure – even when you aren’t, of course! Solution: Replace with variations of the words “do” or “can” instead – and focus on what is definite: “I’ll do a preliminary outline by Tuesday for review,” or “I will complete a preliminary outline Tuesday.”
  2. “Believe” instead of “think” or “feel.” If you’re a careful listener, you’ll often hear people say something like, “I think/feel the best course of action is….” Communication experts agree that replacing “think/feel” with “believe” expresses even more assertiveness and self-confidence to management, colleagues and clients: “I believe you’re right.” Bonus fact: To communicate even more directly and succinctly, practice dropping the use of “I believe” and stick with the statement itself: “You’re right.”
  3. “And” instead of “but.” Here’s one of my favorites! See if you can tell the difference between these two statements: “I know you’ve missed the deadline, but…” vs. “I know you’ve missed the deadline, and….” The first sets up a negative “but,” which precedes bad news – and since people know this, they tend to get defensive or tune out whatever follows, regardless of its legitimacy. Conversely, the second statement acknowledges the bad news, yet skillfully avoids the sense that a shoe is about to fall. Result? The “and” says, “We can work on a solution, which is more important than the blame right now” – and people are far more likely to listen, meaning communication improves.

Successful professionals focus on what I call the language of the positiveCan you think of  additional ways to change commonly used words or phrases so co-workers and clients respond even better? I encourage you to delve deep and test new ways to communicate verbally and in writing!

Known as the pioneer of the administrative training industry, Joan Burge is an accomplished author, professional speaker, consultant, and corporate trainer. She is the founder, CEO, and visionary of Office Dynamics International, an organization that provides high-performance executive and administrative assistant training and coaching.

How could you change commonly used phrases to increase the responses you get? Share your ideas here.

Do You Know How to Designate Daylight Saving Time in Your Writing?

by Leave a Comment

By Julie Perrine (used with permission)

Daylight Saving Time began in the U.S. recently.  That means for the next eight months, our time zone abbreviations also need to change if we want our meeting invites to be accurate.

What am I talking about? Let me explain.

We are currently operating in Standard Time. In the United States, that means the time zone abbreviations for our meetings have been EST (Eastern Standard Time), CST (Central Standard Time), MST (Mountain Standard Time), and PST (Pacific Standard Time).

When Daylight Saving Time begins, the correct time zone abbreviations will be EDT (Eastern Daylight Time), CDT (Central Daylight Time), MDT (Mountain Daylight Time), and PDT (Pacific Daylight Time). The S changes to D to indicate the change from Standard Time to Daylight Saving Time.

Why does this matter? Because not all parts of the world – or even the U.S. – switch to Daylight Saving Time. Hawaii and most of Arizona do not switch. And there are many countries around the globe that do not use Daylight Saving Time either. Even those places that do observe Daylight Saving Time don’t all switch at the same time. This makes time zone abbreviations crucial, especially when you have participants from multiple time zones.

Here are two examples of how this applies:

Example 1: EST is never the same as EDT.

Last summer, while Daylight Saving Time was in effect in the U.S., I was supposed to present an online training event for an international client at 6 p.m. GMT (Greenwich Mean Time). I live in the Eastern Time Zone in the United States. If you plug 6 p.m. GMT into any time zone converter app, it will tell you that is 2 p.m. EDT (Eastern Daylight Time). However, the event organizers had advertised the event for 1 p.m. EST (Eastern Standard Time).

I was on time for the event at 2 p.m. EDT. However, most of the people from my region of the world who normally joined that online training event were not there because they assumed it was happening at 1 p.m. EDT – even though the abbreviation said EST. The event organizers could have avoided a lot of confusion and increased their event attendance significantly if they had published their event with the correct time zone abbreviation.

Here’s another application of this concept for meetings: One of my team members is in Mountain Standard Time. She stays in that time zone all year around because she’s in a part of Arizona that doesn’t switch at all. So if I send a meeting invite for the team call at 1 p.m. MDT (Mountain Daylight Time) and she is actually in Mountain Standard Time, then it occurs at 12 p.m. MST (Mountain Standard Time) because she doesn’t “spring forward” for Daylight Saving Time.

Example 2: Always publish meeting times with the time zone abbreviation for where the meeting is occurring.

Last fall, I was scheduled to present a webinar for an international association. We were still on Daylight Saving Time in the U.S. The country for the association hosting this webinar had already moved back to Standard Time.

I was nervous about being on the webinar at the right time, so I checked it frequently. With this event, I learned how important it is to publish the time of the event for the time zone in which the event is occurring, with the correct time zone abbreviation. That way when anyone plugs it into a time zone converter, they will know what time to join the event in their own time zone. This is especially important when dealing with companies on the other side of the International Date Line because the meeting may actually occur on the next day.

A few key takeaways here:

  • Learn the time zone abbreviations and how to use them for the time zones you work with the most. If you aren’t sure, look them up!
  • Always set the meeting time on your calendar invites for the time the meeting is scheduled to take place in the originating location, and let the calendar convert it to the respective time zone of each recipient. Then if the organizers update the time, your attendees get the updates, which is also important.
  • Include the time of the meeting, with the time zone abbreviation in the originating location, in the subject line of your meeting invite so all invitees and their assistants can see it and do the manual conversion, if needed. It helps tremendously. If you update the meeting time, though, you need to remember to update it on both the invite and in the subject line.

The bottom line is to never assume which abbreviation is accurate if you don’t know for sure. Check it. Download the time zone convertor apps or save the links to your computer so you can check and get it right – every single time!

Julie Perrine is an administrative expert, author, and all-around procedures pro. She is the founder and CEO of All Things Admin, a company dedicated to developing innovative products, training, and resources for administrative professionals worldwide. She is the author of Author of The Innovative Admin, The Organized Admin, and Become a Procedures Pro.

Be Impeccable with Your Emails

by Leave a Comment

by Barbara McNichol

“Be Impeccable with Your Word”—one of the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

In business, being impeccable with your “word” sent through email counts for a lot. After all, you want more than replies; you want results.

To give you a greater chance of receiving what you need from each email, apply these five tips for composing messages impeccably.

  • Write an effective subject line that concisely describes what the impeccableemail is about. Include specifics telling recipients what to do (e.g., Attend meeting 3 p.m. Tuesday, Feedback on report by 4 p.m. Friday, etc.).
  • Make the first statement of your email compelling—a call back, a question, a startling statistic (skipping chats about the weather). With a strong opening, you have a greater chance the whole message will get read.
  • In the body of the message, address recipients by name. Point out which issues pertain to them and what questions you want them to answer.
    Because people scan content and don’t often read word for word, use bullet points to make scanning easy and keep your text concise.
  • Format your emails for ease of reading: short sentences, short paragraphs, spaces between paragraphs.If your message looks tedious to read on screen, it will get put aside.

In the spirit of being impeccable with your words, try these tips and reap the results you desire.

Which tips do you find most helpful? What tips would you add? Share your experience here.

From Our Blog

View all blog posts »

Barbara McNichol Editorial
5090 N. Camino de la Cumbre
Tucson, AZ 85750

Phone: 520-615-7910

Email us »