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Fun with Puns — Just in Time for April Fool’s Day

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by Todd Hunt, Business Humorist

punsIn case the Easter punny misses you on Sunday, here are five April Fools puns to fathom:

1) Acupuncture is a jab well done.

2) If a clock is hungry does it go back four seconds?

3) Without geometry, life is pointless.

4) Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

5) I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. (Barbara’s favorite)

OK – your turn. Write your worst puns in the comments below!

Business humorist Todd Hunt speaks to organizations that want to add fun to their events and send members back to work smiling—with tips to improve communication and success. Visit him at ToddHuntSpeaker.com

Editor’s Note: Todd tackles Word Tripper types of confusing words as I do. His latest video clears up the difference between “podium vs. lectern” (because you’re dying to know). And you can watch his past episodes here. Enjoy!

Writing Tips: 5 Techniques to Boost Your Readers’ Comprehension

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by Barbara McNichol

Whether it’s an email, a report, or a chapter in a book, are you sometimes challenged to make your writing easier to follow? What are ways to create a smooth flow that guides your readers?

Give these writing tips a try:

1. Use subheads: When you use subheads throughout your piece, readers can skim your content and quickly discern what’s to follow. Even more, subheads indicate a change of subject and allow readers to find it quickly. Your guide: new subject, new subhead.

2. Convey one idea per paragraph: If you pack a paragraph with more than one idea, it creates difficulty following the meaning. In an email about a talk, for example, you’d use three separate paragraphs: one explaining the subject of the talk, one explaining who the presenter is, and the third showing the date, time, and place of the event. You can also add subheads to distinguish each paragraph.

3. Use bullets points and numbered lists: When you list similar things (such as names, steps, benefits, requirements), you help readers recognize similar content quickly. With lists, you can leave out transitional words that paragraphs command. It helps the understanding when you use the same part of speech (e.g., a verb or a noun) at the beginning of each point. Note: In a list, when the order of the points matters, use numbers; otherwise, use bullets.

4. Vary sentence length: Although short, concise sentences are easy to read, a string short sentences can feel disjointed. Add interest by varying the length of your sentences. My rule of thumb is keeping sentences shorter than 21 words so readers can follow the meaning more easily.

5. Vary sentence structure: Building your sentences in the order of subject-verb-object is simple and clear. But if all your sentences are constructed that way, it might come across as monotonous. Along with varying sentence length, break out of the mold of standard sentence structure.

Practice these simple ways to make your writing easy to follow and enjoy better responses from your readers. Note YOUR favorite writing tips below or email me. 

Do You Know How to Designate Daylight Saving Time in Your Writing?

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By Julie Perrine (used with permission)

Daylight Saving Time began in the U.S. recently.  That means for the next eight months, our time zone abbreviations also need to change if we want our meeting invites to be accurate.

What am I talking about? Let me explain.

We are currently operating in Standard Time. In the United States, that means the time zone abbreviations for our meetings have been EST (Eastern Standard Time), CST (Central Standard Time), MST (Mountain Standard Time), and PST (Pacific Standard Time).

When Daylight Saving Time begins, the correct time zone abbreviations will be EDT (Eastern Daylight Time), CDT (Central Daylight Time), MDT (Mountain Daylight Time), and PDT (Pacific Daylight Time). The S changes to D to indicate the change from Standard Time to Daylight Saving Time.

Why does this matter? Because not all parts of the world – or even the U.S. – switch to Daylight Saving Time. Hawaii and most of Arizona do not switch. And there are many countries around the globe that do not use Daylight Saving Time either. Even those places that do observe Daylight Saving Time don’t all switch at the same time. This makes time zone abbreviations crucial, especially when you have participants from multiple time zones.

Here are two examples of how this applies:

Example 1: EST is never the same as EDT.

Last summer, while Daylight Saving Time was in effect in the U.S., I was supposed to present an online training event for an international client at 6 p.m. GMT (Greenwich Mean Time). I live in the Eastern Time Zone in the United States. If you plug 6 p.m. GMT into any time zone converter app, it will tell you that is 2 p.m. EDT (Eastern Daylight Time). However, the event organizers had advertised the event for 1 p.m. EST (Eastern Standard Time).

I was on time for the event at 2 p.m. EDT. However, most of the people from my region of the world who normally joined that online training event were not there because they assumed it was happening at 1 p.m. EDT – even though the abbreviation said EST. The event organizers could have avoided a lot of confusion and increased their event attendance significantly if they had published their event with the correct time zone abbreviation.

Here’s another application of this concept for meetings: One of my team members is in Mountain Standard Time. She stays in that time zone all year around because she’s in a part of Arizona that doesn’t switch at all. So if I send a meeting invite for the team call at 1 p.m. MDT (Mountain Daylight Time) and she is actually in Mountain Standard Time, then it occurs at 12 p.m. MST (Mountain Standard Time) because she doesn’t “spring forward” for Daylight Saving Time.

Example 2: Always publish meeting times with the time zone abbreviation for where the meeting is occurring.

Last fall, I was scheduled to present a webinar for an international association. We were still on Daylight Saving Time in the U.S. The country for the association hosting this webinar had already moved back to Standard Time.

I was nervous about being on the webinar at the right time, so I checked it frequently. With this event, I learned how important it is to publish the time of the event for the time zone in which the event is occurring, with the correct time zone abbreviation. That way when anyone plugs it into a time zone converter, they will know what time to join the event in their own time zone. This is especially important when dealing with companies on the other side of the International Date Line because the meeting may actually occur on the next day.

A few key takeaways here:

  • Learn the time zone abbreviations and how to use them for the time zones you work with the most. If you aren’t sure, look them up!
  • Always set the meeting time on your calendar invites for the time the meeting is scheduled to take place in the originating location, and let the calendar convert it to the respective time zone of each recipient. Then if the organizers update the time, your attendees get the updates, which is also important.
  • Include the time of the meeting, with the time zone abbreviation in the originating location, in the subject line of your meeting invite so all invitees and their assistants can see it and do the manual conversion, if needed. It helps tremendously. If you update the meeting time, though, you need to remember to update it on both the invite and in the subject line.

The bottom line is to never assume which abbreviation is accurate if you don’t know for sure. Check it. Download the time zone convertor apps or save the links to your computer so you can check and get it right – every single time!

Julie Perrine is an administrative expert, author, and all-around procedures pro. She is the founder and CEO of All Things Admin, a company dedicated to developing innovative products, training, and resources for administrative professionals worldwide. She is the author of Author of The Innovative Admin, The Organized Admin, and Become a Procedures Pro.

National Grammar Day March 4th

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Editor’s Note: Every day is National Grammar Day in my book. Still, I’m glad to have a day that draws attention to word misuses and what’s correct. Plus I never forget March 4th; it’s our wedding anniversary. I’m blessed to be married to a wonderful guy for 27 years!

by Barbara McNichol

I love watching the TV show “Dancing with the Stars” but even this escape doesn’t give me a break from grammar glitches. In one episode alone, I counted four times when participants and/or hosts misused the pronouns as they spoke.

As a society, if we repeatedly hear words used incorrectly on national TV (and all around us), how will we ever know what’s right?

Without attempting to overcome years of grammar neglect, watch out for certain common pronoun misuses so you get a feel for what’s correct—and what’s not.

“Me and Jack” finished the report. It should be “Jack and I” finished the report.

Rule: When the subject is more than one, you need a subjective pronoun (I, she, he, we, they, who). (“Subjective” refers to the pronoun’s place in the sentence—as a subject.)

Clue: Say the sentence without “Jack.” I finished the report. Now it’s easy to tell which pronoun is correct.

“Bob hired Peggy and I to draft the proposal.” It should be “Peggy and me.”

Rule: “Peggy and me” is the object of the verb “draft” and therefore requires an objective pronoun (me, her, him, us, them, whom). (“Objective” refers to the pronoun’s place in the sentence—as an object.)

Clue: Say the sentence without “Peggy and.” Does it sound right to say “Bob hired I to draft the proposal”? You know it doesn’t!

“Between you and I, we got the job done.” It should be “you and me.”

Rule: In this sentence, “me” is the object of the preposition “between” and therefore requires an objective pronoun (me, her, him, us, them, whom).

“Roger, Lloyd, and myself finished the drawings.” It should be “Roger, Lloyd, and I finished the drawings.”

Rule: You can’t use a “-self” pronoun (myself, yourself, himself, herself, themselves, ourselves) unless it refers to another noun or pronoun used earlier in the sentence.

Clue: Look for the referring word that precedes the pronoun.

To receive a one-page chart that shows at a glance which pronouns to use where in a sentence, email me with “Proper Pronouns” in the subject line.

 

 

 

Why Grammar Matters

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by Kathleen Watson (used with permission)

What is grammar? It encompasses the words you choose, how you string them together, and how you punctuate them to give them meaning.

To recognize National Grammar Day, which falls on March 4, this post examines 11 sentences that demonstrate why grammar matters. I point out the grammatical errors in each and offer a suggested rewrite.

Examples are the best teachers.

1) Just today, we actually got a press release that basically said that CreateSpace was disbanding their author services part of their business.

Problems:
Just, actually, the first that, and basically add nothing to meaning or clarity.
CreateSpace is a single business entity, not a “their”

Rewrite:
Today’s CreateSpace press release announced that it will disband the author services part of its business.

2) I personally actually travel a lot, so I plan to bring this alarm clock along with me everywhere I go!!

Problems:
Personally, actually and along add nothing to meaning or clarity.

Rewrite:
I plan to take this alarm clock with me in all of my travels.

3) Eric was told not to go by his boss, ostensibly because he was working too much overtime.

Problems:
“By his boss” could be interpreted as “close to or in the vicinity of.”
It’s unclear which he was working too much overtime.
Ostensibly, which means apparently or purportedly but perhaps not actually, can be more succinctly expressed.

Rewrite:
Eric’s boss told him not to go because of what he considers Eric’s excessive overtime.

4) After briefly mentioning an official’s alleged affair with his staff member earlier in the week, Stephen Colbert took a deep dive into the story Wednesday night.

Problems:
Briefly mentioning is redundant; to mention is to make a brief reference to.
Did the affair occur earlier in the week? Or was the affair just mentioned earlier in the week?
“An official’s alleged affair with his staff member” is unclear: Whose staff member? The official’s or Colbert’s?

Rewrite:
Early in the week, Stephen Colbert mentioned an affair between an official and the official’s staff member. Colbert delved into the story Wednesday night.

5) Nestled in your opulent guest room with luxurious bedding and special amenities, the Drisco’s thoughtful staff will be there to anticipate your needs and carry out your wishes.

Problem:
Drisco’s thoughtful staff members are not nestled in your opulent guest room.

Rewrite:
As you nestle into the luxurious bed of your opulent guest room and enjoy the Drisco’s special amenities, responsive staff will anticipate your needs and carry out your wishes.

6) Right after we got off the train we were trying to get our bearings and two lovely Chinese girls asked us if we needed help in excellent English.

Problem:
The girls were not asking the travelers if they needed help with excellent English; rather, they spoke excellent English when they asked the travelers if they needed help.

Rewrite:
Right after we got off the train and were trying to get our bearings, two lovely Chinese girls asked in excellent English if we needed help.

7) After speaking to residents, the stranger discovered that animal rescue teams had been attempting to catch a feral dog that roamed the area for five long years with no success.

Problems:
The feral dog had not experienced a lack of success as it roamed the area for five years; those on the animal rescue team had no success in catching it.
What is the difference between five long years, five years, and five short years?

Rewrite:
After speaking to residents, the stranger discovered that animal rescue teams had been attempting — without success — to catch a feral dog that had been roaming the area for five years.

8) Since language is fluid, does it follow that all new usages, since they are not incorrect, can be used in business settings?

Problems:
Since (used twice) means from then until now.
A double negative — are not incorrect — in nonstandard English.
Can traditionally implies ability; may implies permission.

Rewrite:
Because language is fluid, may all new usages — although not yet universally accepted — be used in business settings?

9) The reason why they were furious was because the products Pauley mentioned are half the price and twice as effective as theirs.

Problems:
Reason why is redundant.
There’s a missing preposition: half the price of

Rewrite:
They were furious because the products Pauley mentioned are half the price of and twice as effective as theirs.

10) The report does not dispute that Trump fired Comey because he was unhappy with his continued pursuit of the Russia investigation.

Problem:
He and his are ambiguous: to whom to they refer?

Rewrite:
The report does not dispute that Trump fired FBI Director Comey because the president was unhappy with the director’s continued pursuit of the Russia investigation.

11) When I first mentioned my idea of writing a memoir to David Carr, he told me that I needed to “visit a foreign land where writers live.”

Problem:
The writer was referring to her own memoir, not one about the life and legacy of David Carr.

Rewrite:
When I first mentioned to David Carr my idea of writing a memoir, he told me that I needed to “visit a foreign land where writers live.”

If you don’t pay attention to words, their order and how they’re punctuated, readers might not understand what you’re trying to convey. Mastering grammar makes for clear communication. Consider this resource:

Grammar for People Who Hate Rules: Killer Tips from the Ruthless Editor

Grammar is not a set of rules carved in stone; it’s a collection of guidelines that help you communicate clearly.

Kathleen Watson has a love/hate relationship with grammar; she loves words and the punctuation that helps them make sense, yet she hates those pesky rules. Knowing others do, too, she wrote an easy-to-use grammar book called Grammar for People Who Hate Rules to help  people write with authority and confidence.

How will you celebrate National Punctuation Day? Share your ideas here.

Be Impeccable with Your Emails

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by Barbara McNichol

“Be Impeccable with Your Word”—one of the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

In business, being impeccable with your “word” sent through email counts for a lot. After all, you want more than replies; you want results.

To give you a greater chance of receiving what you need from each email, apply these five tips for composing messages impeccably.

  • Write an effective subject line that concisely describes what the impeccableemail is about. Include specifics telling recipients what to do (e.g., Attend meeting 3 p.m. Tuesday, Feedback on report by 4 p.m. Friday, etc.).
  • Make the first statement of your email compelling—a call back, a question, a startling statistic (skipping chats about the weather). With a strong opening, you have a greater chance the whole message will get read.
  • In the body of the message, address recipients by name. Point out which issues pertain to them and what questions you want them to answer.
    Because people scan content and don’t often read word for word, use bullet points to make scanning easy and keep your text concise.
  • Format your emails for ease of reading: short sentences, short paragraphs, spaces between paragraphs.If your message looks tedious to read on screen, it will get put aside.

In the spirit of being impeccable with your words, try these tips and reap the results you desire.

Which tips do you find most helpful? What tips would you add? Share your experience here.

Word Clutter and Extraneous Phrases to Avoid

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Check out all these phrases that add word clutter. Question their use every time. Do you need them in your writing?

20 Clutter Words & Phrases to Avoid (Infographic)
Source: www.grammarcheck.net

What phrases would you add to this list? Share them here.

If Only Writers Would Use “Only” Right

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by Kathleen Watson (used with permission)

Inaccurate placement of the modifier only continues to abound.

I’ve written about only before, and I’ve continued to save examples. Those with a misplaced only far outweigh those where only is in the right spot: closest to the word it modifies. Because the margin is so great, I’m climbing back onto my soapbox.

Why does the placement of only matter?

Only as an adjective or adverb means solely or exclusively, single or solitary, which is the case in most of my examples. It implies limits.

use of onlyConsider these three examples from my book, Grammar for Those Who Hate Rules (p. 29), which show that placement of only changes the meaning of each. Then consider how the placement of only applies to the numbered examples that follow.

Only Danny sang at the party. (No one else sang.)

Danny only sang at the party. (He didn’t dance or play the piano.)

Danny sang only at the party. (He didn’t sing elsewhere.)

Correct Onlys

Now let’s jump into my collection. In these eight examples, only is correctly placed. Note that only follows a verb, clearly indicating what it modifies.

  1. Definitions of plain language that focused only on writing proved too narrow.
  2. For a plural ending in s, x, or z, add only an apostrophe to show possession.
  3. Praise the delivery to Norway of fighter planes that exist only in a video game.
  4. The other defendants were charged only with misdemeanors.
  5. Buckeye still has only about 60,000 people.
  6. He engineered a “smart gun” that could be fired only by an authorized user.
  7. If you get input only from your closest circle, you won’t get the whole picture.
  8. It’s not hard to detect when someone wants to hear only praise and support for their own ideas

Incorrect Onlys

In the next examples, only is placed incorrectly. Note how often it precedes the verb, when it is intended to modify what follows the verb (underlined). Mentally put it in its correct place.

  1. We only have one voice of reason in Alaska.
  2. That could discourage widespread acceptance, especially for a product that may only have limited use.
  3. VA Secretary McDonald has only fired three people for their involvement in the scandal.
  4. On Sunday, the Senate only voted on the two amendments McConnell set up,
  5. Reports from Reuters and Politico indicated that the president would only move to end the program after a six-month delay.
  6. We only have so many weekends.
  7. The U.S. Supreme Court has explicitly ruled that blood can only be drawn from drivers for probable cause and with a warrant.”
  8. The current bills would only apply to new employees.
  9. Starbucks announced plans to open stores that only accept mobile orders.
  10. Google is concerned about SSL certificates, which are supposedly only issued after Symantec takes extra steps to verify the identity of the holder.
  11. Do you still only write by hand?
  12. A favorite Rick Perry flub is his announcement that as president he was going to shutter three federal agencies — and then could only think of two.
  13. This doesn’t mean that you can only send a press release for information that would make the front page of the New York Times.
  14. The tour company will only collect tasting fees for one person for each winery.
  15. You only need 10,000 devoted readers to make a living.
  16. When they run a “find word” search of your work and “that” only appears a handful of times, you already have a leg up.
  17. Why does designer Vivienne Westwood only bathe once a week?
  18. The asteroid was only spotted seven hours before flying past earth
  19. You only have room for one blurb on the front and maybe two more on the back.
  20. He is anticipating opposition from some of his fellow Republicans to a bill that only gives dreamers legal status.
  21. The McDowell Sonoran Preserve could only be built if voters approve the proposed construction.

Look for other examples in articles you read and comment below.

Used with if — if only, as in this post’s headline — only can express a wish (If only writers used only right … ) or regret (If only I’d paid attention … ), or it can mean “if for no other reason” (She told him she’d already done it, if only to stop his reminders).

Pay attention to your onlys. Show that you’re an informed, skilled writer, and set a good example for others. Please share this with colleagues, friends, and family.

Kathleen calls herself the Ruthless Editor. She has created Grammar for People Who Hate Rules to help people write and speak with authority and confidence. Kathleen can be reached at kathy@ruthlesseditor.com.

9 Things All Writers Can Do at the Editing Stage

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by Jennifer Scott, guest blogger

As a writer, it can feel hard editing your own writing. You’re close to your own text, so how can you ensure you’re getting it right?

Here are 9 tips to help you edit your own writing effectively and make it the best it can be.

  1. Take A Break

First of all, take a step back from your manuscript. You’ve worked hard on it, so you deserve a break. Give it a week or two, and then come back to it. It’s much easier to be objective once you’ve taken your time and then come back to your writing.

  1. Read The Whole Thing Through Once

Book editor Janelle Green from Top Canadian Writers says, “Before you do anything, read the whole manuscript through once. It’s tempting to start getting right in there and making changes, but in fact you can be making things harder for yourself.” Read the whole thing through and make notes. Come at it from the perspective of a reader before you start editing.

  1. Chop Down Sentences

Take a look at the sentences in your work. Some of them will be longer, although not exactly run-on sentences. If you can, cut them down into shorter sentences. A long sentence can contain a couple of different ideas, and it’s easy to lose the reader if there’s too much going on.

  1. Don’t Rely On Spell Check

Spell check is a handy feature when you’re editing, but you can’t rely on it to catch everything. It’s fallible, just like any other editing software, and can miss errors if they don’t show up as incorrect. Use it by all means, but then follow with a manual check to look for any errors you’ve made.

  1. Read It Backwards

When you’re looking for technical errors in your writing, read it backwards. This way, you’ll be more likely to spot issues rather than be distracted with how the piece reads. You’d be amazed at how much this simple tip works.

  1. Don’t Forget The Grammar

No matter how experienced you are at writing, your grammar should always come under scrutiny when you’re proofreading. It’s easy to misunderstand a rule of grammar and create sections of text that need revision. If you’re struggling with this, don’t worry; there’s lots of help. Try the following sites:

  1. Watch Your Tone

The tone of your manuscript is important. If you’re writing a how-to text, a more straightforward approach is needed. If it’s a comedy book, of course inject more personality into it. Take a look at your tone and ensure it’s consistent.

  1. Read It Aloud

The best way to ensure your prose flows is to read it aloud. You’ll be able to see how your writing sounds to a first-time reader and make changes as needed.

  1. Get Help If You Need It

If you find it hard to edit your own writing, plenty of services are available to help. The Huffington Post in its “Write My Essay” feature explains why editing and writing services are more valuable than ever.

Use these 9 tips the next time you’re editing. You’ll be amazed at how much you can polish your writing before sending your manuscript to an editor.

Jennifer Scott works as online editor at Best British Essays (https://bestbritishessays.com/). Also, she is a business developer who works in education, technology, security, and online marketing.

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