Barbara McNichol Editorial Services

Add power and persuasion to your books, articles, and one-sheets

Tap into the Power of “3”

by 2 Comments

by Barbara McNichol

Our society loves “3”; we remember things in “3s”; we’ve learned it from kindergarten when we were told to hop, skip, jump and stop, look, and listen.

Businesses gravitate toward “3” when they create marketing taglines. Look at these examples:

  • Reduce, reuse, recycle (recycle guide)
  • Buy it. Sell it. Love it. (eBay)
  • Grace, space, pace. (Jaguar)

How can you improve your writing by tapping into the power of “3”? Consider this example from a newsletter. The rewrite flows better because of the three-part rhythm brought into play.

Before:

You are free to choose, create and live the life you want if you are willing to investigate, make changes, update your protective strategies, be honest with yourself, and invest in what it takes to continue growing. (37 words)

After:

You are free to choose, create, and live the life you want. (12 words)

That works if you are willing to investigate, update your strategies with honesty, and invest in continuing to grow. (20 words)

Also notice how the long-winded sentence was broken into two shorter sentences with breathing space between. Ah, much easier for readers to follow.

How can you tap into the power of “3” in your writing? Share your examples.

Plant Word Pictures in Their Minds

by Leave a Comment

by Dee Dukehart (used with permission)

Spring’s the time for planting, nourishing and growing, and not just plants and vegetables.

When you present your ideas, knowledge, directions, or how to’s, plant your points into the readers’ minds with word pictures, and continue to nourish the points along the way. When you want to grow their learning, their future, and their well-being, use action verbs and descriptive information.

Describe your points with action verbs: verbs you can “see”: e.g., produce, generate, write, sell, achieve, deliver, etc.  When possible, rid your spoken and written words of auxiliary verbs: e.g., is, was, has, had, have, etc. Use a strong, action verb in their place if you can.

Examples:

  • We had an increase in sales last quarter. OR Our sales increased by 14 percent last quarter.
  • It was a great day for our team. OR We signed three new contracts today!

Which one gets you to “see” the action? Of course the second sentence.

How to Plant Word Pictures

Meetings get bogged down in minutia: a “quick” meeting can sometimes lag into hours. Make your meetings and presentations memorable with points that are worthy of everyone’s time.  What seeds of information are you cultivating for them to reap personal and professional benefits?

What do you remember from last week’s meetings?  What do you remember from a sales call?  What do you remember from any training?  When you want listeners to remember your points, plant word pictures in their minds.

How? Rid your writing of vague expressions such as these:

1)      Better

2)     Satisfactory

3)     Understand

4)     Good

5)     Improves

6)     Soon

What pictures do you conjure up in your mind when you read those words? Can you “see” the concept of better? Understand? Soon? No. Information needs to show “color” like your garden, so nourish and feed it so you can “see” the knowledge blossom.

Consider These Variations

1)      Instead of “better” use a statistic. “Your production escalates by x percent within a year when you use these tools.”

2)     Your sales numbers were “satisfactory.”  Instead:  “Your sales numbers exceeded our goal by 65 widgets; let’s get to 100 by fourth quarter.”

3)     “Understand?”  Everyone understands differently.  Instead: “You will recognize/identify your new time management skills by the extra hour in your day.”

4)     “Improves.”  By how much?  By how many? By when? Instead: “Accomplish your goals in six fewer steps with this process.”

5)     “Soon.”  What date?  What time? What quarter? Instead: “Get your initial draft to me by the end of the week. We expect to see our new product on the shelves in 45 days.”

Strive to plant a picture in your readers’ minds, then nourish your points with review and repetition.  Your ideas, knowledge, products or services, and how-to’s will grow more fruit.

Here’s to your great harvest seasons of information.

Dee Dukehart is a marketing communications trainer who can be reached at 303-549-0045 or Dee@DeeDukehart.com

Words Matter: Give Them the Respect They Deserve

by Leave a Comment

by Barbara McNichol

Have you heard that gestures, tone of voice, and facial expressions carry significantly more weight in communication than words? Being a wordsmith, I never bought into this belief, and I’m grateful and relieved it’s been busted. Words matter!

This video demonstrates why the oft-referenced Mehrabian study needs to be examined more accurately. A fun production to watch!

Conclusion: Of course, words matter–a lot. Learning how to use them effectively should never stop!

Share your thoughts about what makes communication successful below.

Change Long Nouns to Short Verbs to Whack Wordiness

by Leave a Comment

short verbsby Barbara McNichol

Ever wonder how to make your sentences less verbose and more direct?

Here’s a trick that works like magic: Change long nouns to short verbs.

Consider the differences in these three examples from a nonfiction manuscript I edited:

  • “They remain in contradiction with themselves” vs. “They contradict themselves.”
  • “He made an acknowledgment of her success” vs. “He acknowledged her success.”
  • “We get closer to the implementation of leadership practices” vs. “We get closer to implementing leadership practices.”

Study these examples. They show how you can increase readability by turning a long-winded “heavy” phrase into an active “lively” verb. What clues do you look for? Nouns ending in “ion” and “ment.”

Whatever I’m editing, I’m using this “magic” trick dozens of times a day. What a difference this one technique can make! Try it for yourself.

Action: Identify “ion” and “ment” words in your writing, then rewrite them using a lively verb.

What techniques do you use to whack wordiness? Share them here.

The Only Five Comma Rules You’ll Ever Need

by Leave a Comment

by Harvey Stanbrough (used with permission)

This is gonna sound WAY oversimplified, especially given the nineteen PAGES of comma rules in the HarBrace College Handbook.

But it’s true. If you use these five rules, you can’t go wrong:

1. Never put a comma between a subject and its verb or between a verb and its object.

Also you must realize that a subject may be compound, as in “John and Ray went to the store and bought a television and a radio.”

In the example, “John and Ray” is the subject. “Went and bought” is the verb. “A television and a radio” is the object.

Of course, you can also add to the size of the subject, verb or object and you can detract from the size of the subject verb or object.

2. When a subordinate clause introduces an independent clause, separate the two with a comma.

If you aren’t sure about clauses, Rule #2 is an example of itself, as is this explanation.

A clause has a subject and a verb but doesn’t stand alone, meaning it doesn’t make sense by itself. (A “phrase” is missing either a subject or a verb.)

In Rule 2, “clause” is the subject and “introduces” is the verb, but “when” keeps the clause from making sense by itself. Therefore it is “subordinate.”

3. Do NOT use a comma to separate the clauses when a subordinate clause follows an independent clause.

In Rule #3, “Do not use a comma” is an independent clause and the remainder is a dependent clause. This rule, again, is an example of itself.

As an interesting side note, the subject in Rule 3 is the implied “you.” The verb is “use.”

4. Use a comma before the appropriate coordinating conjunction to join two related sentences.

The coordinating conjunctions are for, and, nor, but, or, yet, and so. Remember the acronym FANBOYS. My female students used to love that acronym. By the way, you very seldom need a comma AFTER a coordinating conjunction, although that is a bad habit that some folks have developed.

5. Trite as it sounds, when you are in doubt about whether to use a comma, leave it out.

Believe it or not, most comma problems arise from the insertion of misused commas, not from their omission.

That’s it! The five rules of comma use. And really, there are only three. The first one is necessary, numbers 2 and 3 are the same thing in reverse, and Rule 4 is necessary depending  on how you want the sentence to flow.

And of course, the last one isn’t so much a rule as a warning.

Harvey Stanbrough adheres to Heinlein’s Rules and writes across all genres. He has written and published 20+ novels and novellas, 160+ short stories, and hundreds of poems. He has compiled 5 critically acclaimed poetry collections and 25 collections of short fiction. Sign up for his Daily Journal or his ProWriters Blog at HarveyStanbrough.com.

_________

Absence of Comma Will Cost Millions

by Leave a Comment

by Kathleen Watson

Having just celebrated National Grammar Day, I would be remiss if I didn’t comment on a  widely reported court case about how a missing comma will cost a company millions.

Here are three examples of coverage:

Lack of Oxford Comma Could Cost Maine Company Millions in Overtime Dispute

Missing comma costs business $13 million

The Oxford Comma: Great For Listing, Pontificating, And Winning Court Cases

The essence: Delivery drivers who work for Oakhurst Dairy, a Portland, Maine-based company, will be entitled to an estimated $13 million in overtime pay after winning a three-year legal dispute with their employer. An appeals judge ruled that lack of a comma made interpretation of the phrasing of an agreement vague.

From one of the stories:

The Oxford comma, also known as the serial comma, is a comma placed immediately before a conjunction such as “and” or “or” in a series of three or more terms, as in: “First, second, and third” versus “First, second and third.”

While generally not used by journalists, the Oxford comma is often used in academic publications. Debate has raged for years about its use — opponents feel the extra comma is unnecessary, but supporters claim it helps resolve ambiguity.

The Chicago Manual of Style, for example, cites the following example: “She took a photograph of her parents, the president, and the vice president.” Without the second comma, she is taking a picture of her parents, who are the president and vice president.

Here’s how the contract was worded:

The canning, processing, preserving, freezing, drying, marketing, storing, packing for shipment or distribution of:
(1) Agricultural produce;
(2) Meat and fish products; and
(3) Perishable foods.

The judge ruled that “packing for shipment or distribution of” needed a comma after shipment to separate those elements, as they are two distinct actions: “packing for shipment of, or distribution of:”

I have blogged about commas more than once, and one post deals specifically with the Oxford comma. My book, Grammar for People Who Hate Rules, also has four short chapters that deal with comma usage.

This case provides an excellent example of why we have to use care with what we perceive as “grammar rules.” Applying common sense when using punctuation that helps avoid confusion or misinterpretation should determine whether we use a comma or not, a question mark or not, a colon or not.

Have you been in a situation where punctuation — either present or missing — wreaked havoc for a company or individual? Share your story here.

Understand the Use of “Absolute” Words in Your Writing

by 1 Comment

by Barbara McNichol

absolute word "empty"Ever heard someone say “his bucket is emptier (or more empty) than mine”? How can something be emptier than empty?

The same holds true for all “absolute” words. In grammar, “absolute” means it can’t be compared. That is, you would never use “less” or “more” in front of these absolute words:

  • perfect
  • complete
  • universal
  • destroyed
  • invisible
  • dead
  • impossible
  • pregnant
  • fatal

Consider the word “destroyed.” If a hurricane sweeps through a small town, it’s tempting to say, “Our town was destroyed.” But be careful. Destroyed is an absolute that means totally, completely gone; it doesn’t exist anymore—no streets, no rubble, no fences standing. Chances are the more accurate word is “damage.” So watch out for absolutes, clarify their true meaning, and use them correctly.

Your challenge: What other absolute words would you add to this list? Write them here.

Why Grammar Matters

by Leave a Comment

by Barbara McNichol

Did you celebrate National Grammar Day on March 4th? I think it needs to be celebrated all year ’round especially when it comes to business writing.

Here’s why using proper grammar is important:

“Grammar is credibility. If you’re not taking care of the small things, people assume you’re not taking care of the big things.” — Amanda Sturgill, associate professor of communications at Elon University

What’s the best way to recognize Grammar Day? Spend extra effort to make sure your sentences, whether spoken or written, are grammatically correct.

grammar bookHow do you know what’s correct? Let me direct you to my colleague Kathleen Watson’s new reference book,  Grammar For People Who Hate Rules: Killer Tips From The Ruthless Editor.

This week only, Kathleen is offering it in ebook form for only 99 cents, downloadable on Amazon. This special offer expires at midnight on March 8, so act now!

You can order the paperback version at any time. It’s available at:

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Powell’s Books

This is one resource I use often and highly recommend!

 

Just for Fun—Sprinkle Similes into Your Writing

by Leave a Comment

by Barbara McNichol

Teaching a fitness class week after week could get repetitious. A good instructor motivates action while guiding people in their exercises. My instructor likes to interject colorful similes to keep us going. And I suspect it’s also her way of staying sharp and engaged, too.

similesIn a recent class, while describing what not to do while on all fours, the instructor said, “Think of an overburdened mule in a spaghetti Western movie and don’t slump your back like that.” Later, while on our tummies, she told us to lift our arms “like you’re jumping out of an airplane.” Great visual!

Her imagery boosts our enjoyment and helps make the point of the exercise stick. And what’s good for fitness is also good for your writing. Sprinkle similes and other figures of speech into your prose so readers can visualize your point more easily.

Examples from a fitness class:

“Drop your head to your shoulder like it’s a 10-pound bowling ball.”

“Flatten your back like you could put a tray of food on it.”

For over 50s who remember typewriters: “Shift your ribs to the side like the carriage on a typewriter.”

Example from a book:

This excerpt is from Martha Beck’s Finding Your Own North Star. I recommend Martha’s books for the sheer delight of seeing how she applies similes, metaphors, and other figures of  speech to her points and stories.

If you’re planning to wait for them [your family] to locate your true path, draw you a careful map, pack you a lunch, and drive you to your North Star, you might want to take up needlework. I hear it passes the time.

Similes lead to smiles. Please share examples of similes that captured your imagination below.

Essential Everyday Email Tools

by Leave a Comment

by Dee Dukehart (used by permission)

I continue to see emails, blogs, articles, and other documents written with little regard for the reader. This post gives you Seven tools to enhance your email writing, your messages, and your ideas.

  1. Always use a salutation: Dear, Greetings, Happy Monday, Hi; any one of these is the polite way to engage your reader. After several threads with internal  readers, yes, you can forget the formality and answer or reply with no salutation.
  1. Write a specific subject line: e.g.: “Next Thursday, 2/16/17, Marketing Committee Meeting” and not just “Meeting.” Then type in the specifics in the body.
  1. Use complete sentences. This is not a text message, nor a tweet; use subject, verb, object. It’s the professional way to write.
  1. Hook your readers with a compelling first sentence. Instead of: “I’m writing you to inform you about our new vacation policy.” (The reader knows you’re writing about this because it’s in the paragraph.) Recommended: “One more week! Your new vacation policy entitles you to one more week…!”
  1. Know your audience. Who are your readers? Internal? External? International? New to your industry? A combination? Do they have the same language, vocabulary and knowledge that you do?Never assume your readers understand your internal jargon or acronyms; write in simple and clear language.
  1. Use correct grammar, punctuation, and syntax. When you find yourself questioning the correct way to write or punctuate your sentence either ask the department grammarian – there’s usually one around – or look it up. You might need a refresher in the rules and it’s best to get it right the first time.
  1. Proofread. I know I’m guilty of pressing the “send” button only to find out that I’ve misspelled a word, left out a punctuation mark, or used a “you” instead of a “your,” etc. It’s embarrassing! It also makes your reader think you don’t care.

Take an extra minute or two to re-read what you’ve written.

Always write for the reader!

Dee Dukehart is a business writing trainer whose tag line is Designing and Building Clear, Crisp, Comprehensive Word Pictures. She can be contacted at Dee@DeeDukehart.com

What essential email tips would you add to Dee’s list? List them here.

From Our Blog

View all blog posts »

Barbara McNichol Editorial
5090 N. Camino de la Cumbre
Tucson, AZ 85750

Phone: 520-615-7910

Email us »