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Whack Wordiness: How to Stop Rambling

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Why whack wordiness? It doesn’t help get your message across.

 

More words don’t always translate into more meaning.

You’ve heard me say this before…

It’s important to avoid excessive wordiness in your writing, especially when you’re in a business setting. Your colleague’s, reader’s, or customer’s time is precious. They need to know what you need, what you offer, or what you’re suggesting quickly and concisely.

If you find yourself rambling, it might be due to a lack of focus in your message, and that needs to be addressed. If you are unclear about “why” you’re writing, the “what” and “how” you’re writing will give it away.

We’ve all been hardwired to write essays that meet a certain word count – e.g., 1000 words on the merits of a new book, 600 words about the meaning of Hemingway’s A Farewell to Arms – but it isn’t necessary for everyday business or nonfiction writing. So, how do you chisel the point of your message?

Chisel the point!

Do you want to have precision and clarity in your writing? Then take time to do this simple exercise:

Sum up the point of your communication in one sentence.

After you’ve done that, you can take a step back and decide what supporting information you absolutely need to share to get your point across.

This might mean referring to research or someone else’s communications.

Then after you’ve finished making your case, run through this checklist:

  • Did I put any unnecessary facts in the message?
  • Did I add any phrases that weren’t relevant to the point?
  • Did I consider what my reader was expecting from my message?
  • Did I give any thought to making my sentences flow?
  • Did I get straight to the point or take too many detours?

That last point – avoiding the detours – is an important one. You need to resist the urge to use “filler words” that come across as fluff. This includes dodging phrases like:

  • It goes without saying…
  • The fact of the matter is…
  • In other words…
  • Further to my point…
  • To be honest with you…

Get with the formula…

If you’re writing fiction, you would definitely steer clear of following a formula. But when it comes to writing clear, concise business communication, you’ll be doing yourself – and your reader – a favor if you follow these simple guidelines to whack wordiness.

Use no more than:

  • 5 paragraphs per page.
  • 5 sentences per paragraph.
  • 15 words per sentence.
  • 3 syllables per word.

It might seem like an onerous task to edit your own writing, but the minutes it will take to shave your message, reduce wordiness, and share only the salient points will win you points with your readers.

This might feel clunky and time-consuming at first, but hang in there. Like any new routine – diet, exercise, sleep – you’ll get into a rhythm, and it will become second nature to you.

Take a practice run.

Not sure you can follow these guidelines? Take a practice run at reducing the wordiness in your emails and letters. Pull up something you sent last week…something that was important but hasn’t been addressed by your reader yet. Then run it through this filter:

  1. Count the number of paragraphs. Fewer than 5?
  2. Count the number of sentences in a paragraph. Fewer than 5?
  3. Count the number of words in a paragraph. Fewer than 15?
  4. Now circle the words that contain 4 syllables or more, such as dis·pro·por·tion·ate·ly.

How did you do? Be honest! Did you identify areas where you could have taken a shortcut and saved your reader time?

If you follow these four steps, you’ll gain clues about where your rambling takes you. Detours dilute your message and can affect how you’re perceived by your audience.

If you’d like to learn more about the ways you can trim the fat from your writing, contact me, or sign up for my Word Trippers Tips program and get tips delivered right to your inbox every week for a year.

Did you find this article helpful? Here are three more to help you communicate with credibility, clarity, and efficiency:

Why Make a BIG DEAL Out of Correct Spelling and Grammar?
Do You Use These Common Phrases Correctly?
Word Meanings Essential to Know in These Unprecedented Times

This article was originally published in 2010, but has been updated in June 2020. Feel free to comment below.

Why Make a BIG DEAL Out of Correct Spelling and Grammar?

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Why Make a BIG DEAL Out of Correct Spelling and Grammar?

By Barbara McNichol

Now more than ever, clarity in communication is important.

We’re all adapting to more virtual meetings and a great deal more email communication. Documents that were discussed around a meeting table and then edited by a single person now make their way to multiple colleagues via email.

Correct spelling and grammar are under a spotlight.

We’ve become accustomed to common abbreviations in text messages, such as, “C U @ 8pm @ Rogers, bring appie.” It gets the point across that your friend will show up at Roger’s house at 8:00 pm and you’ll bring an appetizer.

But what about in business interactions? Are correct spelling and grammar still relevant? I’d argue that they most certainly are…and I offer advice for professionals seeking clarity and credibility in their communication.

Here are four common grammar and spelling mistakes that undermine your credibility.

Let me be clear: we’re not going for Shakespeare. But don’t discount the possibility that your peer, manager, or potential employer has a solid grounding in the rules of English grammar and spelling. When you break those rules, you lose (not loose) credibility.

Let’s take a look at four of the most common mistakes. I call them Word Trippers…

1. Who and That.

Who refers to a person. That refers to an object.

Incorrect:
“The person that sent you the proposal is an authority on the subject.”

Correct:
“The person who sent you the proposal is an authority on the subject.”

Correct:
“That proposal is worth considering. The person who wrote it is an authority on the subject.”

2. Me, myself and I.

I’ll grant you, this one is counter-intuitive. People often use “self” in a sentence, I suspect because they think it sounds more academic and authoritative. It’s “padding” in a sentence, which rarely adds meaning. So you’ll read phrases like this…

Incorrect:
“Please contact myself if you have any questions.”

Correct:
“Please contact me if you have any questions.”

Incorrect:
“Myself and Jim will be there at 4:00 pm to discuss the proposal with yourself in person.”

Correct:
“Jim and I will be there at 4:00 pm to discuss your proposal.”

Yourself is your self…no one can contact yourself. It’s a reflexive pronoun. You can talk to yourself. But nobody else can talk to yourself; he or she can only talk to you.

Consider these examples:

Incorrect:
“Jim and me attended the meeting yesterday and it was very informative.”

“Myself and Jim attended the meeting yesterday and it was very informative.”

Correct:
“Jim and I attended the meeting yesterday.”

Here’s a great way to avoid tripping on this: Test your grammar by removing the second person from the sentence. For example, say this awkward – and grammatically incorrect – sentence:

“Me went to the meeting yesterday.”

And so is this:

“Myself went to the meeting yesterday.”

3. Further or farther?

Have you ever wondered about the difference between further and farther? There’s constant debate around this – and since English is a living language, it’s ever-evolving. However, most experts agreed that further is figurative and farther is literal, referring to a measurable distance.

Incorrect:
“Jan has traveled further than anyone else in the company to meet with clients.”

Correct:
“Jan has traveled farther than anyone else in the company to meet with clients.”

Incorrect:
“Farther to the point Jan was making about excess travel for sales meetings, I’d like to send you this report regarding our fleet mileage costs.”

Correct:
“Further to the point Jan was making about excess travel for sales meetings, I’d like to send you this report regarding our fleet mileage costs.”

4. Apostrophes: the ultimate tripper.

Of all the grammar glitches I see, this is the most common. Misusing this punctuation mark rarely creates confusion in meaning, but it’s a glaring error for people who know the proper usage.

Incorrect:
“Its likely we’ll miss our fourth-quarter revenue projections.”

Correct:
“It’s likely we’ll miss our fourth-quarter revenue projections.”

Incorrect:
“Since our sales teams travel expenses have been so high, we’ll take a loss on our fourth-quarter revenue.”

Correct:
“Since our sales team’s travel expenses have been so high, we’ll take a loss on our fourth-quarter revenue.”

An apostrophe plays two roles in the English language. It signals an abbreviation – “it’s” instead of “it is” – and possession – “the sales team’s travel expenses.”

Why Make a BIG DEAL Out of Correct Spelling and Grammar?

Pay attention to these common missteps in written communication. There are many others.

Don’t get let poor grammar and spelling prevent you from showing clients and colleagues you’re knowledgeable about your product or service. Contact me for more information.

Did these tips help you? Are you interested in improving your writing? I am offering a $29 discount on my Word Trippers program until the end of May.

Enjoyed this article? Here are three more to help you communicate effectively:

Poor Writing Means Your Credibility Is At Stake!
No More Boring Writing, Especially Your Adjectives.
Why Use Active Verbs Instead Of Passive?

Word Meanings Essential to Know in These Unprecedented Times

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One of my favorite resources, Dictionary.com, gives us a host of word meanings that have been essential (or at least useful) during this coronavirus period. Words matter; that’s why we should dig into their accurate meanings.

This link opens a meaningful door to terms we’re hearing every day.

When you go there, you’ll also see a number of relevant “word trippers” such as “epidemic” vs. “pandemic”; “respirator” vs. “ventilater”; “quarantine” vs. “isolation.”

Take a few moments to study word meanings that matter the most these days!

 

Whack Extraneous Phrases in Your Writing

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Remove unnecessary words and improve your writing skills.

In The Elements of Style, iconic authors William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White called word clutter “the leeches that infest the pond of prose, sucking the blood out of words.”

Yes, the same E.B. White who gave us beloved children’s stories like Stuart Little, The Trumpet of the Swan and Charlotte’s Web also gave us that visceral description…

Whack wordiness

What is word clutter? Word clutter refers to unnecessary words in a sentence. Why – and how – do you eliminate them? If Strunk and White’s metaphor doesn’t make a believer out of you, then read on, because voiding word clutter in your writing will help you become a better, more effective communicator.

To clutter or not to clutter – that is the question.

When writing poetry, descriptive words are acceptable – even expected – because you’re trying to paint a picture with words. The art is in the rhyme, the imagery, the emotions you want to invoke in your audience.

But in business communication, it’s imperative that you trim the excess fat. Your readers are busy like you – they don’t need to wade through extra words to get the meaning of your message. 

No one in business wants to think of themselves as a “cog in the wheel,” but Strunk Jr. summed up the importance of brevity beautifully:

A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts.

Your business is like a piece of machinery, and efficiency matters. So, do your reader a favor: tune up your writing and whack out the extra phrases.

Unclutter.

“Word clutter” refers to unnecessary words that don’t add meaning to a sentence. When you’re writing a non-fiction book or an email, whack them out. This often means choosing an active, rather than the passive verb.

Take time to fine-tune your message by whacking these phrases: 

  • “is intended to” or “is meant to” or “is designed to”

Example: “He gives a workshop that is designed to teach writing skills.”

Fine-tune it: “He gives a workshop that teaches writing skills.”

  • “it is all about” or “the fact of the matter is” or “it’s important to remember that”

Example: “It’s important to remember that it’s unwise to drive during a blizzard.”

Fine-tune it:  “It’s unwise to drive during a blizzard.”

  • “is going to”

Example: “She is going to be a key contributor.”

Fine-tune it: “She will be a key contributor.”

  • “In order to…”

Example: “Add keywords in order to describe the new position.”

Fine-tune it: “Add keywords to describe the new position.”

  • “there is” or “there will be”

Example: “There will be several managers attending the meeting.”

Fine-tune it: “Several managers will attend the meeting.”

  • “The reason why is that”

Example: “The meeting has been moved to the 2nd-floor conference room. The reason why is that we need more seating capacity.”

Fine-tune it: “The meeting was moved to the 2nd-floor conference room because we need more seating capacity.”

  • “at this time”

Example: “We’re not accepting any more registrations for the conference at this time.”

Fine-tune it: We’re not accepting registrations for the conference now.”

Never forget: more words don’t necessarily give more meaning, especially in business communication. Your time is valuable. Show respect to your colleagues by trimming your emails, memos and reports – whack wordiness! You’ll be doing your colleagues a favor.

Now, do yourself a favor: get a red pen and take time to read over a recent email or letter you wrote. Ask, “Did I really need that word/phrase?” Circle all the unnecessary words. Then think about the time you could have saved yourself and your reader if you’d left them out! A little investment in time at the beginning of your writing project will save you and your readers time in the long run.

Do you have any “pet peeves” when it comes to word clutter? I’d love to know about them. If you’d like more helpful tips, you can sign up for Word Trippers Tips  or book a WordShop for your whole team to strengthen your business writing skills.

Did you find this article helpful? Then you might enjoy these:

Is Your Writing Pompous?

Poor Writing Means Your Credibility Is at Stake!

Mixing Singular with Plural: Keep the Old Rules with Some New Tricks

This article was originally published on March 26th, 2015, and has since been updated.

Are You Giving Praise or Gratitude? How This Makes Everyone Better Versions of Themselves

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By Lynne Franklin (reprinted with permission)   

Kathy was my first assistant when I was working at a public relations agency in my twenties. I made a point of writing thank-you notes to her when she finished something for me.

Walking through the office one day, I heard Kathy talking to another assistant. She said, “Lynne writes me thank-you notes for everything. That makes them all kind of meaningless.”

I was shocked! I thought I was being a good supervisor … Not knowing what to do, I never discussed this with Kathy and just wrote fewer of them.

What’s the Difference?

Praise is defined as “the expression of warm approval or admiration.” It comes from the Latin pretium, meaning “reward, prize, value, worth.”

Gratitude is “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.” Its root is the Latin gratus, for “pleasing, agreeable, thankful, grace.”

If this seems like so much hair splitting, here’s the sense I make of it. Praise recognizes something a person has done. Gratitude is about the meaning of what they do and who they are to you.

With that in mind, I can see how my notes fell short for Kathy. They didn’t show approval or admiration of her work. Nor did they show appreciation or a wish to be kind back. She was right: my scribbles were a meaningless pleasantry that made me feel good.

Our Brains on Gratitude

Here’s the great thing. Gratitude is a gift to the giver and receiver.

It stimulates both brains to produce the neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine, which make us feel good and boosts our moods. It also reduces fear and anxiety by lowering the amount of stress hormones in our systems.

When we practice gratitude every day, this rewires our brains. We strengthen these neural pathways, making us more grateful and positive by default. (This affects the people around us, because moods are contagious.)

Then we all get the documented benefits of gratitude:

  1. Being happier—having more positive emotions and thoughts, becoming more aware and awake, feeling greater satisfaction with ourselves, enhancing our mood
  2. Being healthier—building a stronger immune system, having fewer aches and pains, having optimum blood pressure and heart function, experiencing better sleeping and waking cycles
  3. Being better versions of ourselves—improving our communication with others, having more empathy, having stronger relationships, being more likeable, being a more involved team member

What Now?

Don’t make my mistake of sending thoughtless thank yous. Whether giving praise or gratitude, be specific:

  • Praise—“You did a great job of leading that meeting, Kathy. You kept things moving. We got a lot done—on time! And now everyone knows what to do next.”
  • Gratitude—”You’re an inspiring leader, Kathy. This meeting is a great example. Not only did you get everything covered in an hour, but you made sure we all felt involved in the solution and know what to do next. I’m so happy to be part of your team because we’re making a difference!”

Look for opportunities to express gratitude. It could be a comment—face-to-face or phone/Zoom/Skype. It could be a note—which has even more impact when you deliver it in person, or even read it out loud to the recipient first. It could even be thinking about someone and thanking that person in your head. And don’t forget to regularly send yourself a note or thought of gratitude.

Make gratitude a practice. Some people keep gratitude journals, where they write what happened this day or week that they’re grateful for. Or they have a “gratitude partner” whom they regularly discuss this. Whatever path you choose, focus on how these instances made you feel.

In the middle of your over-busy day, take time to notice and express appreciation. Consider it the emotional equivalent of the boost you get from coffee or chocolate—without the calories!

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Lynne Franklin is a communications expert who can increase your persuasiveness in three ways:

  • Speeches, workshops and coaching that give you tools you can use right away
  • Strategies that help you turn difficult business communications into opportunities to succeed
  • Written and spoken communications created to reach your corporate and marketing communication goals

Get more people to do what you want. Let Lynne show you how. Call 847-729-5716

Poor Writing Means Your Credibility Is at Stake!

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by Barbara McNichol

The clarity of your writing reflects your credibility and reputation in the eyes of your readers. How can you craft your messages to be as effective as possible?

You’ll make a difference by applying these five techniques today.

  1. Make your opening sentence compelling.

It starts with knowing your reader—a boss, a coworker, a buyer of your nonfiction book. A rambling introduction will lose them; stick to addressing their needs and interests.

  1. Think through your message thoroughly before writing the first word.

Start by completing an outline that details answers to these questions: Who, What, Why, When, Where, and How. This will help you think through all aspects of your message and make it easier and faster to write. You’ve already done the hard work!

  1. Use “you” in your messages to make them more personal.

Successful salespeople use “you” more than “I” and so should you. Scan your message for variations of the word “I” before sending or publishing it. Rework every “I,” “my,” “our,” “me” to emphasize “you,” “your,” and “you’re.”

Instead of: “When I create my schedule, I set up time with myself.” Write: “When you create your schedule, you set up time with yourself.”

  1. Don’t make your reader work hard to understand your message.

That means eliminating run-on sentences, overwritten paragraphs, and passive sentence construction. How can you test this? Remove certain words and see it your sentence still works. Experiment. You’ll likely find fewer words gets the job done better!

Instead of: “If you have co-workers who are well-organized, their productivity levels can go through the roof when they work remotely.” Write: “Well-organized co-workers are more productive working remotely.” (See how you’ve turned a 19-word sentence into an 8-word sentence without changing the meaning?)

  1. Write correctly so readers don’t trip up on your intended meaning.

How often do you see or hear words used incorrectly? A lot! Your reputation suffers if you don’t get them right.

For example: “Everyday” means common or normal while “every day” means today, tomorrow, next day, etc. Or “stationary” (something that stands still) versus “stationery” (something you write on). I call these Word Trippers because they keep tripping us up! (Want a quick reference to help you be correct every time? Go to www.wordtrippers.com or www.barbaramcnichol.com/word-trippers)

Find ways to write better; your credibility is at stake.

Is your writing pompous?

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by Barbara McNichol

You can sound knowledgeable without sounding pompous... Here's how

 

You can sound knowledgeable without sounding pompous...here’s how.

There’s a fine line in communication – whether it’s in a non-fiction book or email at work – between sounding knowledgeable and sounding pompous.

Have you crossed that line? There are some common phrases to avoid if you don’t want to come across as arrogant or condescending.

It’s important that you temper your language when writing. You don’t have the benefit of voice intonation, hand gestures, emotions…all the things that impact a face-to-face encounter with your audience. 

If you give off the wrong signals in person, you have an immediate opportunity to correct your misstep.

That can’t be said of your writing. Once you’ve pressed “Send”, mailed the letter, circulated the memo or published the book, your opportunity to explain your intent has passed.

You don’t want to set a tone that can be misconstrued if you’re not there to explain what you meant.

There are several phrases you can avoid – they pad your writing with extra words but don’t add any meaning to your message.

Here are 12 phrases to avoid that will save you from sounding pompous:

  1. Not to mention… Okay, then don’t mention it.
  2. It goes without saying… Right, then don’t say it.
  3. If I may say so… Well, since you’re the author, of course, you can say so.
  4. I believe that… Now the reader wonders if your message is based in facts.
  5. In my humble opinion… An automatic signal that you’re not feeling humble.
  6. To tell the truth… Implies you’ve lied to your reader in the past. 
  7. To be honest with you… Again, a suggestion that you’ve been dishonest.
  8. For the record… If you’re not under oath you don’t need this qualifier.
  9. Let me be perfectly clear… Usually followed by complete bafflegab.
  10. This may sound stupid but… Check yourself, the rest of that sentence probably sounds stupid.
  11. With all due respect… The prelude to an insult, no respect implied or taken.
  12. In other words… The worst culprit. Just use the right words the first time.

Take these pompous-sounding “fillers” out of your writing to avoid confusion and gain clarity in your writing. This is particularly helpful in business communication, approach your reader assuming they’re pressed for time. They need information, not prose or poetry.

Are there other “filler phrases” that make writing sound pompous? Share them in the comments section below or send them along and I’ll add them to the list.

If you’d like help honing your writing skills, feel free to contact me.

Did you find this article helpful? Here are three others you’ll enjoy:

Why Use Active Verbs Instead of Passive?

Mixing Singular with Plural: Keep the Old Rules with Some New Tricks

Better Word Choices for Better Writing

This article was originally published on September 22nd, 2016, and has been updated. 

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