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Change Long Nouns to Short Verbs to Whack Wordiness

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short verbsby Barbara McNichol

Ever wonder how to make your sentences less verbose and more direct?

Here’s a trick that works like magic: Change long nouns to short verbs.

Consider the differences in these three examples from a nonfiction manuscript I edited:

  • “They remain in contradiction with themselves” vs. “They contradict themselves.”
  • “He made an acknowledgment of her success” vs. “He acknowledged her success.”
  • “We get closer to the implementation of leadership practices” vs. “We get closer to implementing leadership practices.”

Study these examples. They show how you can increase readability by turning a long-winded “heavy” phrase into an active “lively” verb. What clues do you look for? Nouns ending in “ion” and “ment.”

Whatever I’m editing, I’m using this “magic” trick dozens of times a day. What a difference this one technique can make! Try it for yourself.

Action: Identify “ion” and “ment” words in your writing, then rewrite them using a lively verb.

What techniques do you use to whack wordiness? Share them here.

The Only Five Comma Rules You’ll Ever Need

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by Harvey Stanbrough (used with permission)

This is gonna sound WAY oversimplified, especially given the nineteen PAGES of comma rules in the HarBrace College Handbook.

But it’s true. If you use these five rules, you can’t go wrong:

1. Never put a comma between a subject and its verb or between a verb and its object.

Also you must realize that a subject may be compound, as in “John and Ray went to the store and bought a television and a radio.”

In the example, “John and Ray” is the subject. “Went and bought” is the verb. “A television and a radio” is the object.

Of course, you can also add to the size of the subject, verb or object and you can detract from the size of the subject verb or object.

2. When a subordinate clause introduces an independent clause, separate the two with a comma.

If you aren’t sure about clauses, Rule #2 is an example of itself, as is this explanation.

A clause has a subject and a verb but doesn’t stand alone, meaning it doesn’t make sense by itself. (A “phrase” is missing either a subject or a verb.)

In Rule 2, “clause” is the subject and “introduces” is the verb, but “when” keeps the clause from making sense by itself. Therefore it is “subordinate.”

3. Do NOT use a comma to separate the clauses when a subordinate clause follows an independent clause.

In Rule #3, “Do not use a comma” is an independent clause and the remainder is a dependent clause. This rule, again, is an example of itself.

As an interesting side note, the subject in Rule 3 is the implied “you.” The verb is “use.”

4. Use a comma before the appropriate coordinating conjunction to join two related sentences.

The coordinating conjunctions are for, and, nor, but, or, yet, and so. Remember the acronym FANBOYS. My female students used to love that acronym. By the way, you very seldom need a comma AFTER a coordinating conjunction, although that is a bad habit that some folks have developed.

5. Trite as it sounds, when you are in doubt about whether to use a comma, leave it out.

Believe it or not, most comma problems arise from the insertion of misused commas, not from their omission.

That’s it! The five rules of comma use. And really, there are only three. The first one is necessary, numbers 2 and 3 are the same thing in reverse, and Rule 4 is necessary depending  on how you want the sentence to flow.

And of course, the last one isn’t so much a rule as a warning.

Harvey Stanbrough adheres to Heinlein’s Rules and writes across all genres. He has written and published 20+ novels and novellas, 160+ short stories, and hundreds of poems. He has compiled 5 critically acclaimed poetry collections and 25 collections of short fiction. Sign up for his Daily Journal or his ProWriters Blog at HarveyStanbrough.com.

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Absence of Comma Will Cost Millions

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by Kathleen Watson

Having just celebrated National Grammar Day, I would be remiss if I didn’t comment on a  widely reported court case about how a missing comma will cost a company millions.

Here are three examples of coverage:

Lack of Oxford Comma Could Cost Maine Company Millions in Overtime Dispute

Missing comma costs business $13 million

The Oxford Comma: Great For Listing, Pontificating, And Winning Court Cases

The essence: Delivery drivers who work for Oakhurst Dairy, a Portland, Maine-based company, will be entitled to an estimated $13 million in overtime pay after winning a three-year legal dispute with their employer. An appeals judge ruled that lack of a comma made interpretation of the phrasing of an agreement vague.

From one of the stories:

The Oxford comma, also known as the serial comma, is a comma placed immediately before a conjunction such as “and” or “or” in a series of three or more terms, as in: “First, second, and third” versus “First, second and third.”

While generally not used by journalists, the Oxford comma is often used in academic publications. Debate has raged for years about its use — opponents feel the extra comma is unnecessary, but supporters claim it helps resolve ambiguity.

The Chicago Manual of Style, for example, cites the following example: “She took a photograph of her parents, the president, and the vice president.” Without the second comma, she is taking a picture of her parents, who are the president and vice president.

Here’s how the contract was worded:

The canning, processing, preserving, freezing, drying, marketing, storing, packing for shipment or distribution of:
(1) Agricultural produce;
(2) Meat and fish products; and
(3) Perishable foods.

The judge ruled that “packing for shipment or distribution of” needed a comma after shipment to separate those elements, as they are two distinct actions: “packing for shipment of, or distribution of:”

I have blogged about commas more than once, and one post deals specifically with the Oxford comma. My book, Grammar for People Who Hate Rules, also has four short chapters that deal with comma usage.

This case provides an excellent example of why we have to use care with what we perceive as “grammar rules.” Applying common sense when using punctuation that helps avoid confusion or misinterpretation should determine whether we use a comma or not, a question mark or not, a colon or not.

Have you been in a situation where punctuation — either present or missing — wreaked havoc for a company or individual? Share your story here.

Understand the Use of “Absolute” Words in Your Writing

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by Barbara McNichol

absolute word "empty"Ever heard someone say “his bucket is emptier (or more empty) than mine”? How can something be emptier than empty?

The same holds true for all “absolute” words. In grammar, “absolute” means it can’t be compared. That is, you would never use “less” or “more” in front of these absolute words:

  • perfect
  • complete
  • universal
  • destroyed
  • invisible
  • dead
  • impossible
  • pregnant
  • fatal

Consider the word “destroyed.” If a hurricane sweeps through a small town, it’s tempting to say, “Our town was destroyed.” But be careful. Destroyed is an absolute that means totally, completely gone; it doesn’t exist anymore—no streets, no rubble, no fences standing. Chances are the more accurate word is “damage.” So watch out for absolutes, clarify their true meaning, and use them correctly.

Your challenge: What other absolute words would you add to this list? Write them here.

Why Grammar Matters

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by Barbara McNichol

Did you celebrate National Grammar Day on March 4th? I think it needs to be celebrated all year ’round especially when it comes to business writing.

Here’s why using proper grammar is important:

“Grammar is credibility. If you’re not taking care of the small things, people assume you’re not taking care of the big things.” — Amanda Sturgill, associate professor of communications at Elon University

What’s the best way to recognize Grammar Day? Spend extra effort to make sure your sentences, whether spoken or written, are grammatically correct.

grammar bookHow do you know what’s correct? Let me direct you to my colleague Kathleen Watson’s new reference book,  Grammar For People Who Hate Rules: Killer Tips From The Ruthless Editor.

This week only, Kathleen is offering it in ebook form for only 99 cents, downloadable on Amazon. This special offer expires at midnight on March 8, so act now!

You can order the paperback version at any time. It’s available at:

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Powell’s Books

This is one resource I use often and highly recommend!

 

Just for Fun—Sprinkle Similes into Your Writing

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by Barbara McNichol

Teaching a fitness class week after week could get repetitious. A good instructor motivates action while guiding people in their exercises. My instructor likes to interject colorful similes to keep us going. And I suspect it’s also her way of staying sharp and engaged, too.

similesIn a recent class, while describing what not to do while on all fours, the instructor said, “Think of an overburdened mule in a spaghetti Western movie and don’t slump your back like that.” Later, while on our tummies, she told us to lift our arms “like you’re jumping out of an airplane.” Great visual!

Her imagery boosts our enjoyment and helps make the point of the exercise stick. And what’s good for fitness is also good for your writing. Sprinkle similes and other figures of speech into your prose so readers can visualize your point more easily.

Examples from a fitness class:

“Drop your head to your shoulder like it’s a 10-pound bowling ball.”

“Flatten your back like you could put a tray of food on it.”

For over 50s who remember typewriters: “Shift your ribs to the side like the carriage on a typewriter.”

Example from a book:

This excerpt is from Martha Beck’s Finding Your Own North Star. I recommend Martha’s books for the sheer delight of seeing how she applies similes, metaphors, and other figures of  speech to her points and stories.

If you’re planning to wait for them [your family] to locate your true path, draw you a careful map, pack you a lunch, and drive you to your North Star, you might want to take up needlework. I hear it passes the time.

Similes lead to smiles. Please share examples of similes that captured your imagination below.

Essential Everyday Email Tools

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by Dee Dukehart (used by permission)

I continue to see emails, blogs, articles, and other documents written with little regard for the reader. This post gives you Seven tools to enhance your email writing, your messages, and your ideas.

  1. Always use a salutation: Dear, Greetings, Happy Monday, Hi; any one of these is the polite way to engage your reader. After several threads with internal  readers, yes, you can forget the formality and answer or reply with no salutation.
  1. Write a specific subject line: e.g.: “Next Thursday, 2/16/17, Marketing Committee Meeting” and not just “Meeting.” Then type in the specifics in the body.
  1. Use complete sentences. This is not a text message, nor a tweet; use subject, verb, object. It’s the professional way to write.
  1. Hook your readers with a compelling first sentence. Instead of: “I’m writing you to inform you about our new vacation policy.” (The reader knows you’re writing about this because it’s in the paragraph.) Recommended: “One more week! Your new vacation policy entitles you to one more week…!”
  1. Know your audience. Who are your readers? Internal? External? International? New to your industry? A combination? Do they have the same language, vocabulary and knowledge that you do?Never assume your readers understand your internal jargon or acronyms; write in simple and clear language.
  1. Use correct grammar, punctuation, and syntax. When you find yourself questioning the correct way to write or punctuate your sentence either ask the department grammarian – there’s usually one around – or look it up. You might need a refresher in the rules and it’s best to get it right the first time.
  1. Proofread. I know I’m guilty of pressing the “send” button only to find out that I’ve misspelled a word, left out a punctuation mark, or used a “you” instead of a “your,” etc. It’s embarrassing! It also makes your reader think you don’t care.

Take an extra minute or two to re-read what you’ve written.

Always write for the reader!

Dee Dukehart is a business writing trainer whose tag line is Designing and Building Clear, Crisp, Comprehensive Word Pictures. She can be contacted at Dee@DeeDukehart.com

What essential email tips would you add to Dee’s list? List them here.

When Good Words Turn Bad

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by Teresa Funke (used with permission)
While listening to a friend talk the other day about a moment of personal discovery, I had a realization . . . there are many words I use that I’d always thought of as good words, but I realized in certain circumstances, even a good word can turn “bad.”Take “wish” for example – a word full of positive energy and hopefulness. “Make a wish, honey,” we say.
But just as often when I say the words “I wish,” they are followed by negatives. “I wish she’d stop that. I wish I didn’t have to do this. I wish this wasn’t so stupid.”And what about this one, “I am.” Such a powerful statement on its own, but just as often, it leads off sentences like, “I am not very good at that. I’m too slow. I am such an idiot.”Then there are words like “never” or “always,” which for all the times they can be used in the positive, can just as often be used in the negative.
As a writer, two of my favorite words when paired together are “What if?” That question has spawned many a great story. But I sometimes catch myself slipping toward doubt when I use these words. “What if it doesn’t work? What if she doesn’t like it? What if I’m wrong?”Then again, I’m just as likely to use a negative phrase in a positive way. Take the phrase “So what?”  Makes you bristle just to hear it, right?  But it can also be motivating.“I don’t want to submit this story. It might get rejected.”“So what. Are you any worse off if it does?”“I don’t want to call her; she might say no.”

“So what? Then at least you’ll know.”

Language has power and there is no such thing as a good word or a bad word; there is only how we use them and how we pair them. This last election taught us that.

So be careful how you talk to or about others, but be careful how you talk to yourself as well.

Teresa Funke embodies the modern artist/entrepreneur. She is the owner of Teresa Funke & Company and Victory House Press and the award-winning author of six novels for adults and children based on true stories from WWII. A popular writer’s coach and nationwide speaker, she offers keynotes and presentations. Contact her at tfcinfo@teresafunke.com or call 970-215-4155

In what ways do words have power for you? Share your thoughts here.

Setup or Set Up and Other One-Word-or-Two Mysteries

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by Kathleen Watson (used with permission)

What’s wrong with this headline:

How to Setup a Marketing Campaign
to Capture More Leads

If you recognized setup as incorrect (it should be set up), good for you! You have a better sense of grammar than the person who wrote the headline.

When a verb such as set is used with a preposition such as up, it is called a phrasal verb: set up. Combining a verb with an adverb also creates a phrasal verb: cut back.

But when the elements of the phrasal verb are combined and expressed as one word, they create a noun: set up / setup  |   cut back / cutback  |  break down / breakdown.

Each of the following examples has two sentences. The first uses a phrasal verb (two words), and the second uses a noun — a single word created by a verb and a preposition. (Exception: cut in No. 4 is followed by the adverb back.)

Please arrive early to set up the room.
Setup should be done by 3 o’clock.

Guests must check out before 11 a.m.
Checkout is 11 a.m.

We had to clean up the pavilion after the picnic.
Cleanup didn’t begin until late afternoon.

We’re going to have to get more exercise and cut back on desserts.
If you want to lose weight, calorie cutback should be part of your plan.

Businesses that start up with too little capital often fail.
The startup required SBA financing.

You can sign up for the seminar in room 208.
Seminar signup ended last week.

I back up my computer daily.
Do you use the cloud for computer backup?

Please break down the price by material, labor and profit.
What kind of price breakdown did she provide?

He’s going to fall out of favor with his boss if he misses more work.
He got fired — the fallout of missing too much work.

If you can stand by for a later flight, you’ll get a free fare.
If you have a flexible schedule, flying standby can save you money.

When you take a shortcut and combine words, take care not to cut short the accuracy of your message.

Share these free Killer Tips with a friend or colleague who is striving to become a better writer and speaker.

Kathleen Watson is known as the ruthless editor who has just published an excellent grammar book that clears up questions that have been festering. Grammar for People Who Hate Rules: Killer Tips from The Ruthless Editor.

You can also request a One-Word-or-Two handout by emailing Barbara at editor@BarbaraMcNichol.com with One-Word-or-Two in subject line.

Where are You in the Writing Journey? Book Quiz

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by Lisa Tener

As exciting as it is to dream about being a published author, actually writing a book can feel overwhelming at times. Those feelings may even force you to put your book off to the side until you can figure out your next step, or get more support, or get more clarity.

After running into so many potential authors who wonder if they can really make it happen—write and publish their dream book—I’ve created The BOOK QUIZ to help you assess exactly where you are in the book writing journey and what you most need to move forward.

Once you take the quiz, I’ll provide personalized feedback that will give you clarity on what to do next based on your unique results.

The quiz applies what I’ve learned from working with thousands of authors over a decade to help you assess where you stand with the three crucial components to getting published—commitment, expertise and your plan.

The goal of The Book Quiz is simple—to give you an outside perspective on where you are in your book writing journey and help you identify what steps to take next to break through those challenges and write the book you’ve always wanted to write.

Click here to take The Book Quiz.

P.S. If you know anyone else who could benefit from The Book Quiz, please share it with them—I’m hopeful this resource will help thousands of would-be authors take the next step in their journey to publishing their book.

Barbara’s note: This quiz is lots of fun! Try it and let me know your feedback.

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